Avatars! Avatars! Avatars!

I’ll post a real entry soon but first… BUT FIRST… MORE AVATARS.

*My OCs are lame but I love them.

Edit: Forgot to add my boo, Aisne (lol). Also, another version of Odin.




Survey + Mythology = Yes!

I’m stressed out with added writer’s block. Time to answer cool questions! ^^

  • Aphrodite: What do you love most about yourself?
    Huehuehue~ I’m amazed by own skills sometimes (don’t look at me like that).
  • Apollo: Do you have any talents?
    A few. My main focus is always drawing though.
  • Ares: What small thing makes you angry?
  • Artemis: What are you hunting for in life?
    A constant, reasonable level of inner peace.
  • Athena: What is/was your best school subject?
    … I aced biology. Like, I did better in biology than art. LOL. I don’t know why. I’m not really that interested in biology, but it sticks for some reason.
  • Demeter: Do you miss anyone?
    I always miss the people I adore.
  • Dionysus: Do you drink alcohol? If so, what’s your beverage of choice?
    Yes. If it’s fruity I will devour it whole and hate myself later.
  • Eros: How do you define your sexuality?
    I am attracted to personalities before anything else. Yes, I do find some people physically attractive, but they’re just eye candy. I can’t develop feelings for a person unless there is a genuine connection present.
  • Gaia: Where’s your favorite place in the world?
    Hmm… Anywhere that is quiet, isolated, and preferably with blankets.
  • Hades: Have you ever had a near-death experience?
    Yes. Now I’m pretty sure my own downfall will likely be clumsiness and/or bad luck.
  • Hecate: What do you think of magic?
    I wish on everything that it was real; however, there is no real evidence out there.
  • Helios: Do you sunburn easily?
    Not at all. I just get sweaty and temporarily darker in the sun.
  • Hephaestus: What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever made or built?
    When I was a kid I used to build landscapes in shoeboxes, cut slits at the top, draw random characters, cut them out, tie those characters to strings, and make these little puppet shows. I’m sure I made better things over the years, but thinking of those little puppet shows always makes me smile. I was so precious ( T w T ).
  • Hera: Are you the jealous type?
    No. If I have time to get jealous then I have time to improve.
  • Hermes: Have you ever stolen anything?
    … I thought I was being cool as a kid by stealing Spice Girl lollipops. Not cool at all.
  • Hestia: Where’s your home away from home?
    My car…? LOL. I don’t know. Home is home. Nowhere else makes me as comfortable.
  • Hyperion: Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
  • Hypnos: What was your most recent dream about?
    All I remember is Tom Hiddleston(sp?) asking me to recommend a place for him to stay because he was new, and I kept taking him to random places in classified ads that all ended up being comically horrible. LOL
  • Iris: What’s your favorite color palate?
    Pastel blues, pastel pinks, pastel purples–mainly those.
  • Kronos: What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever eaten?
    Ah, who knows. I’ll shove just about anything in my piehole as long as it’s edible.
  • Nemesis: What’s a time you helped deliver justice?
    Um… I guess when I did jury duties?
  • Nike: What’s your most recent accomplishment?
    I beat Persona 5! Whoo! This is huge for me because I never actually finished a Persona game. The closest I got was the final boss of P3 and then my memory card got corrupted. ^^
  • Nyx: What’s your favorite nighttime activity?
    SLEEP. …And video games.
  • Pan: What do you do for fun?
    Too many things. I draw a lot. I write a lot. I live on YouTube, Netflix, Hulu, and PS Vue. I play a whole lot of video games. I go to the movies regularly. I do plenty of shopping, online and offline. I just keep myself busy and spoiled as often as possible.
  • Persephone: What’s your favorite season of the year?
    Autumn. A nice, rainy autumn day… I could cry right now… especially thinking of this sticky, cocksucking heat outside. ( ; u ; )
  • Poseidon: What’s your favorite sea creature?
    * ALL OF THEM. SEA CREATURES ARE THE BEST (after cats). But if I had to choose only one I would choose jellyfishes.
  • Rhea: What’s your favorite type of nature?
    … Type of nature? I’m not sure what that means. I guess I’ll just choose an aspect of nature that I like. I like forests.
  • Selene: What’s your favorite phase of the moon?
    Waning crescent.
  • Tartarus: What’s your personal hell?
    Being surrounded by countless strangers who are all talking about banal, shallow crap and touching me. I… would choke myself to death… ^_^
  • Thanatos: Is there anyone you just really, really hate?
    I don’t hate anyone. I do hate irritating-ass tendencies though.
  • Uranus: What are your zodiac signs?
    My star sign is Cancer. My Chinese zodiac is fire rabbit. …That’s all I really know. When we start getting into sun/moon/whatever rising then I am completely lost.
  • Zeus: What do you think about thunderstorms?
    Great! Send more!


*sigh* I’m going to get some ice cream.

YISA 001: It Me

Welcome to the first YISA–or “Yes, I’m Still Alive”–entry.

Basically, I’m such a lazy piece of shit that writing a full entry can be a bother at times, so I’m just going to put these little updates in between to give excuses for why I am not updating regularly. Go, me~

So, here are my excuses… um… reasons for not updating regularly:

  • Breath of the Wild has consumed my life.
  • The Breath of the Wild OST has me shedding nonstop tears.
  • Nier: Automata has consumed my life.
  • The Nier: Automata OST has me shedding nonstop tears.
  • Mystic Messenger has consumed my life.
  • Otome games in general have consumed my life.
  • More tears.
  • I still love FFXV and I always need to spend time with the boys. :*
  • From Monday ’til Friday I am basically a tired, irritated mess and I will rip your face off if you try to talk to me before I have my coffee. ^^
  • Saturday and Sunday are my days to cleanse my soul and if anyone tries to take that from me then I will rip more faces off. ^^;;
  • I’m writing my story. And when I’m not writing my story I am thinking of things to write in my story.
  • I’m working on my art regularly. I feel and see myself improving. I amaze myself somtimes. Huhuhu~
  • When I am not doing one of the above on my free time then I am either living at Studio Movie Grill with Mark (lmao), watching dumb shit on YouTube, or catching up on TV shows I missed.

… So, there it is. I really want to get into all the wonderful, amazing, beautiful, cleansing, heavenly, divine hobbies of mine, but they keep piling on and on and on… which is great for me tbh. Mass Effect: Andromeda is right around the corner and then Episode Gladiolus and then Persona 5 after that. YES. I AM READY.

Okay, that’s about it. Those are all my excuses/reasons for not being active.

I want to post a detailed entry soon so I can really get into all the things I have been adoring lately, but alas… I am but one fangirl with limited time and energy. #firstworldproblems

Aight. That’s it. Daylight is burning faster thanks to losing an hour, so I need to get on it before bedtime creeps up on me like it always does. Hahaha… I want another vacation so bad. In time… In time…

Alrighty. Sending good vibrations~~~~

Mystic Messenger Shitpost

I am obsessed with Mystic Messenger. Send help. 

… Spoilers ahead. :/



Zen being brutal.


LMAO. Protect Yoosung at all costs.



Yeah… Pretty much.


Jaehee’s photo with Elizabeth 3rd is still hilarious. Look at her face:




The God 707 license plate on Seven’s car is killing me.



Yoosung’s route is exactly like this.


The worst thing this game ever did was have Yoosung call the MC crying after his fight with Seven. Like, it was the worst shit that ever happened to my ears and my heart at the same time.



Rude as fuck to be honest. Who thought releasing this information was okay? >:/



I love Jaehee so much. LOL. She deserves all the good things.


LOL. Zen is precious. Also, I appreciate Mystic Messenger for always reminding you to eat and sleep properly while simultaneously destroying your life. Thank you, Cheritz.


The Zen and Jumin interactions are probably the best things in this game.


That’s it. That’s the entire game.






Haha yup


Zen basically.


Yeah, pretty much.



… *sigh* Back into hell I go. BYE.

Kerri & The Best Week Ever




Iggy must be thinking about them new recipehs. Or how fine Gladio is. It’s all good.

Anyway, got through a weeklong vacation that was much, much, much needed, and I’m just going through the most memorable moments. Keep in my that I am an introvert, so if you’re expecting a story about me going out in public and interacting with others you will be so disappointment. Oh, boy. So disappointed.

  • FINAL FANTASY XV (aka JUST DUDES BEING BROS XV/JUST BROS BEING DUDES XV). I am in love! The game is not perfect. In fact, I’d give it a solid 8 out of 10 because the main story was so short, but the content that was there was definitely a rollercoaster. I’m happy to hear that Tabata wants to make this game playable for a long time, and plans to drop all kinds of free and paid DLCs throughout 2017. Looking forward to it! Also, looking forward to the New Game + option so I can start the replay I’ve been dying to make since I finished the game. Overall, I am a happy camper. I love this game. ♥
  • Also, that soundtrack is incredible. Yoko Shimomura is a damn genius. Fight me if you disagree. Q( ‘_’ Q)
  • Thanks to FFXV inspiration to write has been through the roof this week! I can’t remember the last time I was up until daybreak because I lost track of time while writing. I think I really needed a gool ol’ FF game to remind me what it is I love about writing in the first place. The fun that comes with building a world, forming bonds between characters, being free to make all the rules you wish–it is so refreshing. I wish I had more time in the day so I could finish the entire story but… a good 25,000-30,000 words will have to do for now. I plan to spend my every break after returning to work doing editing so I can go home and continue working on the rest. I’m excited. I hope I can start adding the story to the website, but I don’t want to do that until I’m 100% sure that I won’t end up scrapping it like I always do. LOL. We’ll see. I love the direction it is taking now though.
  • Yuri!!! On Ice has taken control of my life. You may also fight me again if you don’t love Viktor x Yuri. Also, I can’t believe the delusional people saying that Viktor and Yuri are just really good friends, even after what happened in the 10th episode. LMFAO. Like… breh… come on. Breh. Come. On. It’s canon. Just stop. Come on, breh.
  • I am in love with March Comes In Like A Lion too. I didn’t think an anime about Shogi would be so interesting, but there it is.
  • I’m like… 30 episodes into Monster which is a fucking miracle. I’ve been starting and dropping both the manga and anime for a few years now. This is the farthest I’ve come. I wish I had stuck it through a long time ago. It’s a really good series that deserves all the acclaim it received. How is this anime/manga not an American movie yet is really alarming to me. It feels just like one.
  •  Why is The Last Guardian and everything else Fumito Ueda makes so amazing. I can’t do this anymore.
  • I haven’t touched Tales of Zestiria or Skyrim during my whole vacation and I probably won’t for a while because FFXV is so precious to me. Whoops~
  • I don’t even know what else to say. I got so much sleep and watched so much good stuff and played so much FFXV and wrote so much and I’m just really happy. I can’t wait to get Christmas and New Years breaks, and I can’t wait until I accumulate more PTO so I can do this again. Maybe I’ll wait until Mass Effect: Andromeda to roll around, or FFVII Remake. Or Persona 5. I don’t know. There are so many games I want to play until I hate myself when they come out. I’m looking forward to it. …Not hating myself but you know.

I think that’s about it. I plan to make a more detailed review of FFXV when the time comes, but honestly I want to tackle the DLCs that are supposedly being released this month to see if they add more to the game or not. I’ll see. Really, I want to get into the spoilers… more specifically that ending. Ugh, all the tears. I can’t do this right now. -.-

Alright then. I’m off. Happy Holidays if I don’t get around to it later! ♥


P.S. It’s snowing on my blog again! #blessed (LOL)

Kerri & Jury Duty Round 2


Me dodging jury duty

You know it’s unfair that I just turned 29 and yet I’ve been on a jury twice, right? -_-

*sigh* No use bitching, I guess. You just have to accept your summons as gracefully as possible. That being said, this trial took four days compared to the one day my last trial took, so it was definitely more tedious. More waiting… On top of more waiting… On top of even more waiting… But at least the people in my group weren’t mostly annoying like the last group I was stuck with. Anyway, the trial is over and I am officially allowed to talk about it. Here I go:

I will not be posting the defendant’s name because (unlike one person in our group) I do believe that it is possible for him to turn his life around. Sure, his name is already on websites with mugshots or whatever, but it’s not my duty to contribute to public records. I will share details with the people I am close to, maybe, but nothing that a future employer can look up. Okay, that’s my piece/decision.

The defendant was… clearly a member of a gang. I did give him the benefit of the doubt despite his face tattoos, but after seeing his social media posts in court I am 100% convinced he is in a gang… because he didn’t exactly hide the fact that he is to begin with. …By the way, can we all come to an agreement to stop posting our entire life on the internet? Seriously, it’s one thing to write about your opinions or hobbies or whatnot, but no one needs to know about the laws you broke or how shitfaced you got last Tuesday. That is not a good look when it comes to things that will ultimately affect your ability to survive (finding a job, staying out of prison, etc.)

I digress.

It is not against the law to be in a gang, but it is against the law to do illegal shit while in a gang because… illegal… So that was the main issue.

Long story short, someone had a party and her friend told her friend and her friend told his friend and his friend told his friend who happened to be in a gang. They all show up, girl throwing the party says “GTFO”, and the gang is offended because something about having an “A1 face card” and therefore having the right to go to any party they want. Yeah, I don’t get that sense of entitlement either, but welcome to the logic of some human beings. A group of drunk partygoers got into it with some gang members, someone got punched, a phone was stolen, an AK-47 was waved in someone’s face, shots were fired, all around stupidity ensured, etc.

The people involved are in trials of their own, but we were just judging this one guy and determining what crimes he took part in, if any. In the end we felt comfortable saying that he did damage the girl’s property by throwing a chair through her window because two witnesses backed that up, but several witnesses said that someone else was holding the gun and someone else stole the phone (even plead guilty to that in his own trial) and someone else did the punching, so we only charged him with two of the six charges (criminal gang activity and criminal property damage). All in all, I think we were fair.

Some people were complaining about wanting to rush through the deliberation, but most of my fellow jurors agreed that this is someone’s life we have in our hands and we can’t just slap charges on him because he’s in a gang. I don’t like gangs. I don’t like gang members. Hell, I probably wouldn’t even like this guy if I had to deal with him at all in my personal life. But this is not about feelings. It is about logic. …Which one juror did not understand.

At some point, some of us started laughing because this lady just was not getting it. She kept going on about how he was a horrible thug who deserved to be in jail forever, and if a gang harms one of us then we somehow deserve it for not throwing the book at the defendant. I felt myself glaring at her because she just would not shut up about how much she despised this guy. Even when we all came to a consensus to stop inputting our opinions and personal moral views, she just would not stop.

So, I suggested we do anonymous votes (Yay, I was useful this time around!), and the foreman said it was a good idea (Double yay!). We all voted anonymously on the six charges. Easy enough… except for this same lady. She voted guilty for everything, and was the only one who voted guilty on the charges we agreed he was not guilty for. Which is fine. She is entitled to her decisions as a juror, but dammit, woman, stick to it! Each time the designated lady who counted the votes announced that we had one guilty vote, she would throw a tantrum and say, “Fine! I’ll switch to ‘not guilty’! But it’s all your faults if gangs attack your neighborhoods and yadda yadda!” In the end, she buckled to please the majority because she is clearly a feelings-over-logic person… which is great but does not work well in judicial settings. I have to say that was the most amusing part of jury duty next to the defendant feigning ignorance to everything gang related, and getting called out for saying his “B” tattoo is due to being a Red Sox fan… then saying he was a Yankees fan mostly. Can’t make this shit up.

All in all, there is a lesson in all of this: think about your decisions. Really think about them. Getting your feelings hurt and raising hell over a 3-4 hour party and doing time for years is dumb. Trying to completely ruin a person’s life because you just don’t like them is dumb.

Everyone makes mistakes, sure, but please make an active effort not to be so dumb that you end up getting other people hurt as a result. At the end of the day, everyone around you is a human being. You do not have to like everyone. Just acknowledge that they feel like you, love like you, want to survive like you. This weird obsession some people have with kicking others while they’re down to make themselves feel better is so disgusting to me. Stop terrorizing people and just live your damn life. Shit.

From a completely selfish angle, I wouldn’t have to miss work and spend a week in jury duty if people would just get their shit together. None of the trials I had to sit through involved an accident. It was always someone, twice a teenager, making incredibly thoughtless decisions.

Okay, I’m done ranting for now.

It is finally the weekend, and I have to go back to a week’s worth of shit that have been piling up. Joy. I will be enjoying the hell out of Far Cry: Primal and season six of The Walking Dead mostly. I deserve that much. And probably a nice, cold, alcoholic drink. ♥.♥

098: I May Know The Answers

aww Personal Life ✪

  • I am 29 now and it is probably the most boring age to celebrate. Dat ice cream cake tho
  • S/O to everyone who wished me well nonetheless. ♥
  • I was absolutely spoiled this year, but the most life-changing gift I received was a huge promotion. I actually have benefits, a 401k, paid vacations… Like, if I die tomorrow Mark would be able to pay for my funeral because I actually have benefits set in place to help him. Things like that seem trivial to some but it means a lot when you’ve never had those things before. Not to mention the decent discounts I get just for being an employee. Work is work, sure, but I am being rewarded with more than a paycheck for a change–and a pretty impressive paycheck at that! Wowowowow, I am extremely grateful! Thank you, thank you, thank you! ♥♥♥
  • Another epic gift I received was from my sister-from-another-mister Tiffa (LOL). Guys… she got me tickets to the Zelda Symphony! THANK YOU 5EVER TIFFA!!! I hope it is really dark and loud there so no one can see me crying the entire time. LOL. Tiffa is going with me too so I can’t wait to geek out about music with her like we’ve been doing for the past… what, 15 years? Maybe more? Wow! Much love to Tiffa. ♥♥♥
  • I also got a bigger phone with 16x the memory and we are inseparable.  Love you, boo. :*
  • Well, as great as some things have been, I’ve also dealt with some difficult things. Mark and I lost someone very dear to us, and on top of that Mark also lost his grandmother… so it’s been tough. Really tough. All we can really do at this point is keep moving forward. There are so many things to celebrate, you know? Even when its tiny things like finding $5 in your wallet that you completely forgot about. LOL. I mean… comparing finding $5 to losing someone is obviously not a fair balance, so you really have to add up all the thousands of little, happy things that can happen within the span of a single day. That makes it all worthwhile, I believe.

✪ Art & Writing & Domain*✪

  • Apparently, it is possible to be so inspired that it overwhelms you and you have no idea where to start.
  • I am very pleased with the direction my story is going. The trick is to not drop it the moment I get stuck. Also, I need to stop going through with every single plot change that comes to mind. At this point if changing a part of the plot will undo weeks of storytelling then it is not worth it. I will just have to recycle it and use it in a sequel or different project. Actually, I am working on a list of strict rules when it comes to writing and drawing that I must abide by. If I break that rule… I don’t know. I might have to put $20 into savings or something. Yeah. Let’s do that shit.
  • By the way, I really need to update my websites. *sigh* It’s been like two years. I need new layouts and updated info. I’ll get to it eventually, I guess. I would like to do more things with my domain and discuss it here in the future. Let us see how that goes, right?

✪ Anime & Manga ✪

  • I finally got all of the Gunslinger Girl mangas. ♥
  • I love JJBA: Diamond is Unbreakable so much. It makes Fridays even better.
  • Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress had *so* much potential… then it kinda came to a point where I lost interest. I might try to finish it up this weekend.
  • The new Berserk anime is nice so far. I am still getting used to the art style, but that is my only complaint.
  • I am in manga hell. LOL. Berserk is getting steady updates now, I am all caught up on Attack on Titan, I started on I Am A Hero, and I am reading through all of the Magi manga since the anime stopped. …And I’ll probably be reading much more manga thanks to this app I found. So far all of the manga I’ve been reading are decent. Thankfully. I can only handle so many disappointments when it comes to my fandoms. I might touch on that later…

✪ Video Games ✪

  • Well, the biggest thing to discuss gaming-wise is obviously that two month delay on Final Fantasy XV. Yeah… it hurts. LOL. It could have been 27 days away, but now it’s so far away that I don’t even feel like doing the math anymore. I also had to reschedule my vacation as a result. So… mildly inconvenient. I guess it works out in the end since taking a vacation later gives me more paid days off. I am just frustrated that I have to pretty much wait until the holidays to enjoy it. It seems so far away. I can’t blame them though. When you constantly have the internet it’s easy to forget that some people are not so fortunate. I give SE kudos for thinking of fans that may be getting excluded, and to also touch up on issues they found. Personally, I don’t give a shit about perfect graphics and over-the-top FPS or whatever, but I can appreciate it when the time comes. I guess we will just have to see.
  • I can’t believe The Witcher 3 is over. I feel so empty. LOL. Anyway, the Blood and Wine DLC was amazing. I felt like Geralt got the send off that he deserved. He has been through a lot. And who better to go into semi-retirement with than Yennefer. She is a queen. I adore her. *.*
  • Finally finished Journey,  and it is as heartbreaking as everyone said it would be. S/O to the person who went through pretty much the entire game with me. I usually hate multiplayer games because most people I run into are colossal douchebags, but this person and I were just protecting each other and making each other fly and it was so sweet. Thank you. :’)
  • That accursed yet adorable Mark did it again! He kept bugging me to play Neverwinter, I played Neverwinter, and now I am completely obsessed. I hope I get all of that out of my system before FFXV rolls around because it takes up a huge chunk of my free time these days. D:
  • My other gaming activities have been mostly cellular. The games I’ve been playing include Mobius Final Fantasy, Sailor Moon Drops, Pokemon Go, FF Brave Exvius, and a few others. Occasionally I play some of the PS One RPGs I love on the Vita. That’s about it. :/

✪ Books & Graphic Novels*✪

  • Oh geez… Mark introduced me to 2nd and Charles, and it was a terrible idea. I have too many books. The bookshelves are packed. Books are piled on books. This has to stop. I mean… I got some pretty good books (A Wizard of Earthsea, I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, Tales of the Greek Heroes, and a few others), but enough is enough. I have to start donating the books I’ve already read or the books that have been on my to-read list for way too long.
  • I am so far behind in Saga. Just wanted to whine about that.

✪ Music & Podcasts* ✪

  • Adding podcasts to the mix because I listen to them nonstop at work, and they serve as a good ground to discuss everything from current events to history.
  • I like Rihanna’s “Anti” album. It’s pretty good.
  • Drake’s “Views” is okay. Some good tracks, some completely forgettable ones.
  • Really, Spotify has been my main source of music recently. I love to explore the recommended playlists and find new music to enjoy. Not bad, Spotify, Not bad. I like it more than Pandora tbh.
  • Completely in love with the songs Florence + The Machine made for FFXV. My favorite has too be “Too Much Is Never Enough”. My guess is that it will be used in the end of the game, and since it sounds so uplifting maybe the end will be a happy one. Let’s hope so.
  • Ok, I can’t list every single podcast I listen to because I listen to 50+ of them, but I guess I can discuss a few that stand out in my mind.
  • The Rachel Maddow Show – There a few politics-related shows I enjoy, but this one is my favorite. Rachel Maddow is hilarious! At this point in the whole Donald Trump fiasco there is not much left to do but laugh. I mean… people actually think he is president material. It baffles me. And I like that Rachel Maddow perfectly sums up how baffling it is with plenty of sarcasm, logic, and rants. I am still laughing at the show she did about that white supremacist who supports Trump because she described him “coming out of the swamp” to offer support. LMAO. No lie, I always imagine racists as these creatures who crawl out of caves like Gollum just to fuck shit up… like Gollum. Also, I didn’t know this guy’s active pastime is running for various offices and flopping miserably on repeat for decades. …Can’t make that stuff up.
  • The Read – Kid Fury had me cracking up about the whole Taylor/Kanye/Kim nonsense. I hope it is all a publicity stunt because I cannot believe this is what rich people do with their time.
  • No Sleep Podcast – Man… horror is really kicking ass this year on pretty much every platform.
  • Snap Judgment – Ugh… damn this podcast sometimes. The “Nuclear Family” episode had me close to tears when I heard that story about the lady who went to Africa and came to adore a child that no one else seemed to like. They went through so many difficult situations together but came to care about one another very much. Spoiler alert, he passed away in the end from the health issues he had. That just crushed my soul. …Then there was the story of these half-siblings marrying each other and I threw up in my mouth a little. Sorry. I will never understand incest relations. I am not saying it is impossible for family members to feel romantic feelings for one another–as history proved several times–but… why? Why? WHY?
  • Okay, I think that’s all I will discuss for now. Podcasts can be life-changing, man. Listen to ’em.

✪ TV & Movies ✪

  • Season six of Game of Thrones was amazing! (SPOILERS AHEAD)Any complaints I have are totally minor, and not anything worth deducting major points for. I enjoyed the character development, the plot, and more than anything the potential this show has now that they are not following the books anymore. Let’s be real. GRRM is taking ridiculously long to release The Winds of Winter. I feel like the show will probably come to an end before that book comes out, so the path they’re taking with this show really works for me in terms of what I hoped to see in the next book. My biggest complaint (I can’t believe I am saying this) is Daenerys. There are so many deus ex machina moments with her that I found myself getting bored sometimes. But outside of those moments, she continued to prove what she is worthy of the Targaryen name. The moment when they showed her entire fleet heading to Westeros with Dragon, Viserion, and Rhaegal flying around in the background… all the chills and tears. Still, let us be clear. The best moment in the entire season was Cersei fucking shit up in King’s Landing. Wow! Best villain ever! Actual queen! Sometimes I hate this show for making me root for people who should not be rooted for. Thankfully, I gave zero roots for Ramsay. He was a total piece of shit, and I smiled with Sansa when his hounds had him for lunch. I also yelled YASS QUEEN. Then I yelled YASS QUEENS when Yara/Asha teamed up with Daenerys, and even hinted that she wouldn’t mind hooking up with her. PLEASE DO. I definitely ship Dany x Yara. Fuck Daario. I never trusted him, and he was naive to think that he would actually end up married to the dragon queen if she conquered Westeros. Like… Why? What is the relationship suppose to be built on? Sexual attraction? Ugh. Thank you, Dany, for dumping him, and thank you for not permabanning Jorah because he really did make up for his mistake… creepy friendzone shit aside. Wow, what else? I was 0% attracted to Jon Snow before this season, but he/Kit Harrington was surprisingly fine this season? Amazing. Arya killing Walder Frey had Mark and me acting like damn fools. He’s not even that into GoT and he was yelling “OH SHIT!” with me and jumping around. Literally slay, Arya. Sansa is still precious to me, and I will not forgive anyone who gives her shit for dealing with trauma the way she does… which is fifty times better than anyone else would in her shoes. Let’s be honest. If Sansa haters had their clothes torn in a room full of people whilst the person they had a crush on threatened to kill them with a crossbow they would be a mess. Everything in between that she dealt with would destroy them. So, I’m here for Sansa rising to the top where she belongs. I already miss Hodor. I miss Margaery and Loras already. Fuck the High Sparrow. I’m disappointed by the lack of Stoneheart, especially when there was such an opportune moment to do it when The Hound showed up. Cleganebowl was cancelled. Not okay. Um… I don’t know what else I am missing. I just want to watch this season again. I am ashamed to say I own zero GOT boxsets, but I plan to amend that when the sixth season’s boxset is released. I wouldn’t mind watching it over again.
  • If you haven’t watched Stranger Things I’m sure you’re tired of hearing people tell you to watch Stranger Things, but watch Stranger Things. If you have any love for 80’s horror and sci-fi movies, watch Stranger Things.
  • Mark and I are killing that SMG deal on Groupon, so naturally we saw a lot of movies. I’ll give a brief rundown of the few that I saw.
  • Star Trek: Beyond – Meh… It was okay. More importantly, Rest In Peace to Anton Yelchin nonetheless. I am glad that they will not replace him as Chekov. He did so well in that role, and he can never be replaced.
  • Jason Bourne – Snore. But Mark’s dad really loves the Bourne series, and I like going out with his parents, so it was good on that front.
  • Captain America: Civil War – SO GOOD. This is the summer blockbuster we geeks deserve. Especially with all the shit superhero and reboot movies we have to shovel through every year just to find something decent. That being said if the Black Panther movie is garbage then we riot.
  • The Fundamentals of Caring – [adoration for Paul Rudd intensifies]
  • Zootopia – Adorable movie. It should be called Tolerance for Dummies. Hopefully, the kids who watch this movie will get the message, and do better then the generations before them when it comes to treating others with dignity and respect regardless of how they look. Nonetheless, good job, Zootopia.
  • I am so deep into Killjoys right now. It is everything Firefly could have been if it was not cancelled. They were renewed for a third season so I’m ecstatic! Every story needs a Dutch. She is a beautiful space angel. ~_~
  • Last but not least, Kingsglaive. Of course, the moment I buy the digital copy SE announces that Kingsglaive will be coming to Atlanta… a few minutes away from where I live. *sigh* I would go see it in theatres if I absolutely adored the movie, but I did not. Is it worth the 8% it has on rotten tomatoes? NO. At least not to me. If I had to use their percentage scale, I would give it a high 60%/low 70%. I enjoyed the plot more than Advent Children (and Spirits Within). That is a definite. It did not have as many cool action scenes IMO, but there were enough twists and beautiful graphics to make it at least watchable. My biggest complaint is basically the last thirty minutes or so of the movie. I am going to discuss spoilers so please skip if you haven’t seen it. Once again, SPOILERS AHEAD.So… the ending. I understand that Nyx is the main character, but once Regis was assassinated the movie should have really wrapped itself up. His death and the fall of Lucis is pretty much the bridge between the movie and the game, you know? That is not to say that the last act of the movie was entirely useless. It was definitely important to reveal the traitors within Kingsglaive, the confrontation between Nyx and Drautos/Glauca, and maybe even to show how the Ring of Lucii actually works, but I wish that the plot was just… arranged differently. I suppose movies/games/books/etc. just feel more complete when there is a flow of introduction to conflict and characters involved → conflict at its peak and major development of characters  → resolution and final development of characters. The movie followed this flow until Regis died IMO, but then it went back to the middle again and sort of shifted the focus of the protagonist from Nyx to Lunafreya in a way. Of course, these are all opinions. Some people think this is the best video game movie ever while some think it is a colossal failure. Maybe opinions will change once the game is here and we can see how Kingsglaive ties into Final Fantasy XV. Either way, I enjoyed it for the most part. I would watch it again. Actually, I already watched it twice, mostly to enjoy the beauty of Insomnia again and to catch any easter eggs that I may have missed the first time. That’s my typical crap review, or “almost review” as I tend to call it. LOL. If you’re into the FFXV lore and game then go ahead and watch it. If you don’t care about FFXV though then you’ll probably dislike it. I don’t think it would inspire anyone who is not interested in playing the game to play it. Maybe it will. I don’t know. By the end of the movie I didn’t find myself wondering about Noctis or even the rest of the world. I was more interested in what Lunafreya would endure during her trek to find her fiancee Noctis. Honestly, she was my favorite character in the whole movie. I read complaints about her being a “damsel in distress”, but I strongly disagree with that. Lunafreya is the type of female character that we need to see more. There are plenty of weak female characters who cannot defend themselves along with plenty of strong female characters who do not need anyone’s assistance. But what about the women in the middle who know that they are not conventionally “strong”, but refuse to sit around and remain helpless? Lunafreya knows that she is up against some incredibly–and quite frankly overpowered–foes, yet she is adorably stubborn about doing whatever the hell she feels like doing. LOL. Seriously, every time Nyx told her to stay put and she pretty much went “nope” and did what she wanted to do I just loved her even more. Lunafreya is so important. I meant it. She does not fear death. She does not dwell on her shortcomings. She does not complain about the fact that she is constantly being locked in rooms and being held hostage. She just sees a window of opportunity everywhere and leaps headfirst towards it. *sigh* I cannot wait to see more of Lunafreya. Okay, that’s about it. >_>

✪ Whatever Else/Closing ✪


Okay, I believe that is everything. I have a much-deserved labor day weekend ahead of me, and I plan to be as productive as possible. Got my art supplies near by. Got some books to read. Got some games to play. I’m going to do something more than play Neverwinter all day. I promise. 😮

Sending everyone good vibrations. And cooler weather. (っ- . -)っ ~





Moonpools and Caterpillars – Heaven


I believe in Heaven and know
That I should just accept it all
So content with the paths that I walk on
Surely I should see it all

So take care and don’t go too far, I will miss your soul
And when the distance grows and the nights are long
And you’re scared at times and you wonder why
Take care and don’t go too far, I will miss your soul

I’ve looked into the sky one hundred times
And I’ve seen the stars that shine so bright
And I’m sure that one of them is you, my friend
Watching and waiting and hoping that I’ll be alright

So take care and don’t go too far, I will miss your soul
And when the distance grows and the nights are long
And you’re scared at times and you wonder why
Take care and don’t go too far, I will miss your soul

I believe in Heaven and know
That I should just accept it all
So content with the paths that I walk on
Surely, surely, surely I should see it all

So take care and don’t go too far, I will miss your soul
And when the distance grows and the nights are long
And you’re scared at times and you wonder why
Take care and don’t go too far
The road back home is shorter than you know

The road back home is shorter than you know
The road back home is shorter than you know
The road back home is shorter than you know


097: Stand By Me

Just Frank Castle things.

✪ Personal Life ✪

  • Geez… Where the fuck do I begin?
  • Everything is Lunafreya right now and you’re damn right I’m going to fangirl about FFXV in a minute.
  • February was definitely a great month. I got to meet my new nephew Jaden, hang out with Ash, Tiffa, and Mark, and finally get my hands on a Wii U!
    • Jaden – He’s such a cutie pie ♥♥♥! Why are my nephews and niece so precious? I don’t deserve them. 😥
    • Hangout – So, Ash came down from NC to visit a bunch of her ATL friends, including me, Tiffa, and Mark, and we had a blast with her. I can’t remember the last time I laughed as much as I did that day. We were just being a bunch of goofs together. LOL. All in all, it was great–great friends, great conversations, great places, great food. I can’t wait to do it again. This time we will actually put some effort into planning because Mark almost led us to our deaths. Bad Mark.
    • Wii U – This belongs in the gaming section. Still, it is probably the best Valentine’s Day gifts I ever received.
  • Mark and I found a new hobby that is guaranteed to concern the people we know. There is a shooting range right down the street from our place, and we’ve become obsessed with… well… shooting shit. My only complaint is that it’s loud as hell. And the kickback will knock your fucking teeth out if you don’t keep control. Otherwise, it’s a blast (no pun intended). The great thing is that I’m surprisingly decent at it. I mean, my eyesight is garbage so I was sure I would miss my target, but I ended up getting mostly headshots at 50 feet distance. According to Mark that is good. At least I know I’ll survive somewhat in the zombie apocalypse, right? LOL. I don’t know. He’s the military kid, so he’s been my mentor on all things gun related. Anyway, it’s fun. GREAT stress relief. That is a definite!
  • I got a chance to work remote and it was like winning the lottery for a day. LOL. I don’t even care about raises or promotions anymore. I just want to eventually get permission to work from home everyday. That is my dream job right there. And since I love the work I do my career will be 100% enjoyable for me. No more waking up at 3am, no more driving in traffic, no more spending my lunch playing taxi–none of that shit there. Just me, my music, my laptop, and my pajamas. Fuck. Yes. I want it now. ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
  • I’m ashamed of some of the things I find hysterical. For example, every time I hear/read, “Swiggity swooty, I’m coming for that booty,” I giggle like an idiot. Then the other day Mark and I were trying to decide on dinner and he googled “good food”. Dude, I was crying. Like… what was he hoping to accomplish with that vague-ass search? I’m done (╥ □ ╥)! Now I’m giggling because while watching Daredevil Mark said that since Matt is blind he probably hits on girls by saying, “Hey, girl, let me hear them titties,” and… *siiiigh* My sense of humor is in ruins. Don’t look at me.
  • I got new glasses after seven years or so, and it is so fucking weird. I didn’t know real life was this crisp.
  • Link is temporarily annoyed with me because a cat outside was following Mark and me and climbing our shoulders, and he watched all of this from the window with a pissed expression. So… Yeah… We feel like two-timing whores now. Sorry, Link. 😦
  • I don’t know what else to add in this section. I’m feeling OK. I’m working on improving certain areas of my life. I guess that is it then. Moving onwards~


✪ Art & Writing ✪

  • I can always tell when I’m in a good place art-wise because my art supplies will move from my desk to everywhere else. It also doesn’t help at all that every time I get a little extra cash I just add to that shit like I have all the space in the world. In my defense, I always said as a child that when I become an adult and have money I would buy all the art supplies I want. So, I’m sure the young Kerri in me is cartwheeling around in excitement. Anyway, I’m not complaining. I do need to be more organized, yes, but I’m as happy as pig in shit over here. I want to draw forever. ♥
  • Writing is now working out smoothly because I decided to put all my writing-related things in one book. Brainstorm? One book. Drabbles? One book. Charts? One book. At times I’ll think, “Yadda-yadda would be a good idea”, and then I’ll just write in my book “Yadda-yadda is a good idea”. Often times right in the middle of doing something else, like shopping. LOL. I’m pretty much inseparable from that book. It’s like my brainstorm encyclopedia, and it makes things infinitely better. If you’re a writer you have to get a brainstorm book. It’s extremely awesome. Stick it in your purse with some pen(cil)s and never worry about forgetting a good idea again. 😀
  • By the way, if you order a sketchbook online and it says “MASSIVE, HUGE” then believe it… because I ordered one thinking, “please no sketchbook is too big for me” and this one is ridiculous. In terms of length  and width it’s not bad. Maybe 11 x 12-ish. But it has like 600 pages, its the size of an encyclopedia, and there is no way I’m carrying that almost 20 lb. tome of a sketchbook outside of this place. So. Yeah. I have so many pages that at this point I’m just sketching any random shit that comes to mind. LOL

✪ Anime & Manga ✪

  • It only took me an eternity, but I finally managed to watch all of Fushigi Yuugi including that horrible sequel. Yay! At first I was disappointed that Miaka was gravitating towards Tamahome instead of Hotohori, but eventually I stopped fighting it and accepted the obvious reality that they are one of the most adorable couples ever created. I also wanted nothing but the best for Yui too because even though she was so pigheaded at times she was never a bad person. Ah… I love it. I’ll always have a soft spot for shoujo anything. They make me feel so warm and fluffy inside. (。´ ‿`♡)
  • Completely in love with Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress and JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable.
  • Of course I caught the FFXV: Brotherhood anime. It’s decent so far. I just wonder how long it’s going to take to release all of the episodes. ARGH IMPATIENCE.
  • I am completely in love with Hunter x Hunter. I’m so glad that I finally finished it. Now I feel kinda hollow because I was immersed in this world for weeks and now it’s just… done. I hate when that happens. LOL. I’m already looking into collecting the mangas so maybe that will help.
  • New Berserk anime! *backflips through a wall* Yaaas, I need more! I’m already hyped as shit because they finally made it to Elfheim, so… yeah. Let’s get this series done in my lifetime please. >_<
  • The new Sailor Moon Crystal looks so much better. Also, Michiru! My queen!
  • Broke down and purchased the Oyasumi Punpun and Gunslinger Girl omnibuses. Totally worth it. Now my heart can break all over again. Yay!
  • What the hell is even Sekkou Boys? (╥ □ ╥)
  • I guess Turn-A-Gundam is no longer in copyright jail because they’re actually selling the DVDs in stores now. I damn near screamed when I saw the first part of the set at MovieStop. Silly gundam moustache and all, I absolutely love this series. Loran is definitely my favorite Gundam pilot of all times. He is so adorable. I can’t stand it. Also, Yoko Kanno doing the music is just… *deep breath*… Get away from me if you hate this series. I don’t need that negativity in my life.
  • Geez, what else? The Lost Village is creepy as fuck and I have no idea what is going on. Finished Ace of Diamond and I really want Chris Yuu’s eyebrows. Slam Dunk is my shit now. Sakamoto is funny as hell. My Hero Academia is so nice! Ah, so much anime to talk about. Maybe another time.

I know I’m forgetting something but it’s been a few months. I’m trying. -_-

✪ Video Games ✪

  • Ah, yes. The Wii U. It kind of came to me unexpectedly. Sure, I was planning to get it eventually, but one day Mark was just like “surprise,” and then I had a Wii U. He already got me Hyrule Warriors before I got it, so I had that to play (ADDICTIVE). It came with Mario Kart 8 (FUN). The moment Twilight Princess came out I got that (GLORIOUS). Eventually, I did get Xenoblade Chronicles, even after the whole Amazon crap I had to deal with to get it (LONG STORY BUT WHATEVER THIS GAME IS RPG ROYALTY), and that was well worth all the headache. I have zero complaints. I love it. The gamepad is ridiculously nifty and feels more like another handheld console at times. I don’t know what else to say. I’m completely in love with it. I am beyond fortunate. Thank you, life, for not always shitting on me! \(^O^)/
  • First of all, I watched that FFXV Uncovered video from start to finish, and even though it was cheesy at times I was hyped as fuck. I’ve accepted my badge as a Square-Enix bitch ages ago. I can’t help it anymore. Needless to say, they are going above and beyond with this one. And they better. They’ve been working on this game for over a decade now. I was still in high school when they announced it, and back then it was FF Versus XIII or whatever. The wait is finally over, guys. I can’t believe it. Come September 30th FFXV will actually be here! Well… it might come a little later for me. I preordered the deluxe edition (the ultimate edition practically vanished) with overnight shipping, so if I’m lucky I’ll get on the first of October. If not, then it will probably show up the following Monday. Tuesday the absolute latest before I lose my shit. LOL. Either way, I’m ecstatic. I love the idea of an anime, a movie, another demo, and even all the other ridiculous things like an actual car that no one can buy. I’m indifferent to the mobile game, but I’ll try it out once I get a phone that doesn’t give me an insufficient storage warning every time I try to download something. I mean… Fuck. I don’t know what else to say. The moment I heard Florence and the Machine singing her version of “Stand By Me” (Yes!) FOR this game my eyes started to water. I couldn’t help it. It’s like someone just took all of my favorite things, put them in a box, dumped it in front of me, and said, “Enjoy it in six months, bitch”. It’s like… that feeling you get as a kid when someone told you that you were going to Disneyworld. When I realize this thing I’ve been waiting over ten years to experience is only months away I just want to celebrate, regardless of the possibility that it might be straight up dick. I don’t even know what I’m saying. I’m just excited and sappy and relieved and hopeful. That’s about it. I can’t wait!!!  ʘ‿ʘ
  • Oh, and you can bet your ass that I played that demo. The gameplay felt a lot like Kingdom Hearts tbh. Which is not a complaint at all. It’s so enjoyable that I’m already thinking of playing it again. Plus Carbuncle and bb Noctis are so adorable! I want an esper/eidolon/GF/summon/etc. to talk to me via text messages. 😮 And of course I’m so uncreative that when I was asked to name Carbuncle I just named him Carbuncle. LOL. I don’t start giving people and things dumb names until the second playthrough at least. Dems the rules.
  • Can I talk about Sakaguchi showing up to the conference? I miss him. ;_;
  • New updates for Nier Automata too! Yes, I need moar!
  • Finally tackling that Hearts of Stone DLC for The Witcher 3. I’m loving it. I never get tired of Geralt. There could be an entire DLC with him watching paint dry and I’ll probably write a review saying, “A work of art. Fantastic gameplay. 10/10.”
  • I can’t sign on Steam anymore because the instant I login this person keeps IMing me to talk about Sailor Moon and its connection to the occult and I don’t know how to say “go away” without hurting his/her feelings. Why did I end up in this situation? Why is it the more antisocial I become, the more people keep talking me? Why? Why?

✪ Books ✪

  • Do comic books count? Because I’ve been reading through a lot of omnibuses lately, mostly Daredevil.
  • I did get the first eight books of The Wheel of Time series for like $10 and was set on reading it… but then I got distracted… and then Mark took that honor for me. LOL. He got through three books in like a week, so I have to hear nonstop about how awesome it is while simultaneously loathing myself for not getting past the second chapter of the first book. I just need one good week to focus 100% on my hobbies. (◞‸◟;)

✪ Music ✪

  • The Legend of Legacy OST is everything. Pianoschlacht Live is also pretty important to me. Bless Masashi Hamauzu. Kinda OT, but I found out recently that Masashi Hamauzu got his daughter to sing the vocals in “The Vestige” from the FFXIII OST. I just had to mention that because it is really neat and adorable at the same time.
  • My music life has been mostly Pandora. I really need to do something about my stations because I swear I have like twenty of them. It’s not really my fault though. How do you put instrumentals, trip hop, classic rock, alternative rock, hip hop, r&b, and several other genres in one station? Then there are some artists/bands that need their own station because I have a lot of moments where I only want to hear their music or music that sounds similar to theirs. I did put my movie, game, and anime soundtrack stations into one station called “writing & drawing*, but even now I’m thinking of breaking them into separate stations again because video game music is not like movie music, you know? *sigh* I’m hopeless.

✪ TV & Movies ✪

  • I don’t think I discussed The Force Awakens yet. I loved it! My biggest complaint is that there was not enough Captain Phasma, but I heard she was supposed to get more screen time in later episodes. GOOD. You can’t hire fierce queen Gwendoline Christie aka Brienne of Tarth to play a stormtrooper and not make her kick ass. Not allowed, JJ Abrams. e_e
  • Season two of Daredevil… Wow. Just wow. I loved every second of it. Sure, it has its flaws, but none were so troubling that I couldn’t enjoy it. Frank/The Punisher is amazing. Elektra is amazing. I still love Matt/Daredevil, Karen, and Foggy. I love that some of the characters from season one came back. It’s just so good. I can’t wait for Luke Cage and Iron First and The Defenders!
  • I think I mentioned watching The Sopranos before. That is all done, so now I just have to start The Wire. I know it is considered quite possibly the best show ever made, but every time I get the chance to watch it I end up falling asleep. Not because it’s boring but because I’m almost always tired. Then I spend my weekends playing games or watching weeb shit, so… yeah. It’s at the top of my watchlist. Finish The Wire before 2017 or kick myself in the chest. >_<
  • Spotlight is such a good movie, but it is so fucked up. So, so, so, so fucked up. It is disgusting how many suspected pedophiles are amongst priests alone. When you think about the population as a whole… It’s like this whole shit with Jared. It makes me legit irate. I’m just going to stop because this is going to turn into a long rant. I already feel it. Anyway, Spotlight it is wonderfully done in terms of acting and production, but the subject matter is definitely unsettling. There is my review.
  • The same kind of goes for Room. It is such a good movie, but the subject matter is saddening. I really love characters like Brie Larson’s “Ma” because she is the epitome of what a hero(ine) is. I cannot imagine the amount of courage and strength it takes to endure a situation like that, and still keep your child completely oblivious to how screwed up things actually are. It is definitely a tearjerker. I highly recommend it.
  • Saw Deadpool. Funny as hell, as expected. Not a perfect movie, but it is the perfect Deadpool movie. That is all that matters, right?
  • Saw Batman v Superman… and I don’t even know what to say. Outside of Ben Affleck playing a good Batman and Gal Gadot slaying as Wonder Woman the movie was balls. It was just plot holes galore, Jesse Eisenberg doing who knows what drug to play Lex Luthor (or supposedly Lex Luthor Jr. which is even dumber), disappointing character development, flop villains all around… I don’t even know. And they didn’t even have the decency to reward the audience for sitting through that with some after credits scenes. The disrespect. LOL. I mean, it wasn’t the worst movie ever made. It was just tolerable at best.

✪ Whatever Else/Closing ✪

I have so much to cover that I just kinda typed without worrying about typos or curbing my potty mouth… fingers. Anyway, sorry about all of that. I think it’s been like five months since my last entry. D:

Take care, ya’ll, especially with the ridiculous amount of pollen out there these days. If you’re going through the whole itchy eyes, stuffy nose, coughing mess I’m there with you. Be strong, sistrens and brethrens.

Sending everyone good vibrations. (っ- ‸ -)っ ~♥


096: The Dawn Will Come


✪ Personal Life ✪

  • It’s snowing on my blog again. Yay!
  • I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving! I had all the ham I could stand, so I would say my Thanksgiving was a huge success. 
  • And, with that said, on to your regularly programmed nonsense. I’m feeling like an open book so I’ll tackle this next topic whilst I still have the stomach for it. Prepare for some serious, lengthy TL;DR.
  • My personal life has been significantly better thanks to my decision to start going to therapy regularly. My therapist is a saint. Seriously. When she’s not helping emotional wrecks like me she spends her time helping children with disabilities, and when children adore someone that is usually a sign of good character to me. Anyway, I could not have progressed as far as I did without her assistance. It turns out that I have general anxiety disorder and major/clinical depression, and it’s at a point where not even a great therapist can tackle it alone. I have to also see a psychiatrist occasionally. She prescribed me lexapro and xanax to basically keep myself balanced. Anxiety and depression… together they are so exhausting. On one hand, you’re constantly terrified of being harmed. On the other hand, you welcome harm because you believe you deserve to suffer until your last breath. And the odd thing is that consciously I’ll catch myself thinking things I immediately write off as irrational. I’ll say to myself, “it’s so dumb to think these things”. However, those thoughts will follow me around nonstop until I start to believe them from time to time. I have been carrying these burdens for years, and it made me feel like a failure. It’s… comforting to have a stranger tell me that I am strong. There are regular compliments that I accept nonchalantly, and then there are compliments like that where it’s so overwhelming that it leaves me in tears. All I ever wanted was to be strong. It’s amazing to fight for something all of your life only to be told that you accomplished it a long time ago, and you were just to underconfident to realize it. I’m happy. I’ve even been told that I’m more upbeat than usual. Of course, it is difficult to deal with these things, but I like to think of it as living life on hard mode (LOL). There is no time to say things like: “I’ll get better later”. You have to be at your best at all times, and because of that you learn to adapt and develop new skills quickly. The payoff is also incredible. Now that I have more control over this part of me that I couldn’t control before, every other challenge I face feels like child’s play. Lately, I’ve been facing difficult things without questioning my abilities because I’m confident that I can take them on. Or as Mark said when I discussed this with him, “THIS ISN’T EVEN MY FINAL FORM”. Anyway, I am essentially saying that therapy is going well, medications are helping a lot, and I am learning to focus on myself instead of fretting about my surroundings. I have higher hopes now because the future finally looks bright for me. I’m just… relieved, proud, and happy all at once. I can’t complain about this experience at all. Life has been (mostly) pleasant, so I’m really glad I made this decision instead of putting it off out of stubbornness. That’s about it. 🙂
  • Also, I would be a complete ass if I did not thank Mark for all of his supportiveness. He likes to say things like, “Blah, I don’t need any thanks”, but he has no idea how much it meant to me when I was dooming and glooming under a blanket and he came out of nowhere with some cheesy joke to make me laugh. Or when I’m having a panic attack at work and he’ll drop everything to run somewhere, call me, and tell me that I have faced harder things. I love him with every fragment of my being. He is my rock. I know I usually don’t say lovey-dovey things like that, but… I could not do any of this without him there to remind me that everything will be all right. Okay. I’m done. *~_~*
  • Now back to the nonsense.
  • A while back I caved in and subscribed to Amazon Prime. Worth it! When I put into consideration all the shows I get to watch for free plus all the two-day shipping charges I get to avoid, I already got my $100 worth. It is just painful to pay all of that upfront, you know? But I guess when you look at things like Hulu or Netflix you’re paying the same amount just to watch shows and movies, so Amazon Prime is definitely worth it if you’re into online shopping. I definitely am. Most of the time I’ll just spend like $15 a week on little things like replacing headphones or getting stationery I can’t find anywhere else, and I don’t have to pay another $15 to ship them. Blah, blah, blah, I highly recommend it. And if for some reason you need something ASAP you can spend an extra $4-5 for next day shipping. So it’s awesome.
  • Christmas shopping is usually hell for me, but I’m trying to be more optimistic. Let’s call it a financial adventure. I guess the trick is to not be too generous. Sure, that’s a ridiculous thing to say during a time where the spirit of generosity is most important, but it’s careless to spend so much money on other people that you have nothing for your own survival expenses. It’s not like someone is going to die if I don’t get them a new iPhone or whatever. I’ll probably die if I try to survive on $5 for a week though, or at least die a little on the inside. Anyway, the whole point is to chill the fuck out with that Christmas shopping stuff this year, and do some serious budgeting. I want to get everyone nice things though. I’ll do my best.
  • I didn’t really do any Black Friday/Cyber Monday stuff. The only deal I absolutely had to grab was the Lord of the Rings trilogy boxset–extended edition blu-ray discs with 26 hours of extra goodness. According to Walmart, it is usually $100-something dollars. I grabbed it for $40. Not a bad deal.
  • Link has been pretty snippy with me because I gave him a bath and put his collar back on. It’s his own fault. He keeps running outside then hiding in the bushes since he’s too scared to go further than that. LOL. Anyway, we’re back on good terms again. All it takes is some treats and brushing his fur to get back in his good graces. Got you all figured out, cat. >:J
  • Well, I don’t know what else to say about my personal life. It’s just been work, sleep, eat, therapy, repeat. The things I manage to squeeze in between are typically things are productive or helpful towards my health. In short, boring. I am still very boring. 😛


✪ Art & Writing ✪

  • As far as art goes I have just been in practice mode. I hate the feeling that I am losing my ability to draw. Realistically, I doubt anyone can just “lose” a skill they’ve been using for decades, but I have had moments where I placed a pencil to paper and had no idea what to do next. It is more a lack of inspiration than anything. I definitely need to read and play games more. Maybe start getting back into watching anime regularly. I’ll see.
  • I tried to do NaNoWriMo this year, but I only had the motivation to work on my main story, and that story is not something that I want to submit to contests or whatever. It is a great stress relief for me after all. If I start putting deadlines and word counts on it then I’m positive I’ll lose the desire to go anywhere near it. There is always next year, I guess.

✪ Anime & Manga ✪

  • I started this anime called “Everything Becomes F: The Perfect Insider”, and it’s right up my alley. A lot of mystery. A lot of philosophy. Very Stand Alone Complex-y. It’s not done yet, so I’ll have to endure waiting week after week for another episode. *sigh*
  • Mark and I got hooked on “Kuroko’s Basketball”, and we keep blaming each other for it. I recommended it, but after the first episode I dropped it. Meanwhile, Mark kept watching it. So one day I decided to join him for an episode for the hell of it then I got hooked too. Then we both got hooked and we kept blaming each other for who made us addicts to a sports anime of all things. Like, we’re not big sports people at all. I don’t care for sports. He doesn’t care for sports. Yet we’re both watching his anime and saying things, “Man, maybe we should start watching basketball.” LOL. It is more than regular basketball though. It has this really interesting storyline with basketball techniques that are borderline Naruto-ish until they explain how might be semi-possible to pull off in real life. Nonetheless, it’s great. I love it.
  • …Oh, and we’re into a new sports anime now called “Haikyuu”. We joked that in a matter of months we will see every type of sport there is in anime form. We covered basketball and volleyball so far. I covered swimming with “Free!”. There are tennis, baseball, and soccer anime out there that I’ve heard about. *sigh* It’s getting to that point. The suspense is so good with sports anime. >_<
  • We’re also into “One Punch Man”. Mark is more into it than me though. I’ve only seen an episode or two, and each time I promise myself to catch up to the whole thing. It… hasn’t happened yet. I’ll shoot for next weekend.
  • “Digimon Adventure tri.” is so nostalgic. I mean, the digimons still wear crappy disguises when they’re on Earth and no one even asks questions. It’s just like: “Oh, there’s a orange dinosaur in a trenchcoat and fedora. Nothing out of the ordinary here.” I can’t recall anyone asking the “are those talking, stuffed dolls?” question again, but that is equally ridiculous to me. LOL

✪ Video Games ✪

  • Wow… Where do I start?
  • It worries me that Square-Enix keeps saying that “it’s a new game”, and that it’s going to be broken into “episodes”, but I want to be optimistic. This is one of my favorite games. Hell, it’s almost at a point now where it’s overtaking Ocarina of Time because I play it way more frequently. The last time I played OoT was maybe 2-3 years ago. FFVII, on the other hand, I’ve been replaying yearly. I’m already starting a new playthrough for the one that I downloaded on to the PS4. It’s worth buying again for the 100th time just for that new theme. It’s so beautiful with the piano version of Aerith’s theme playing in the background. Yeah… I’m Square’s bitch at this point. I’ll keep grumbling about how tired I am of them making low quality games then I’ll pick it up anyway. LOL. But I am at least slightly relieved after playing the FFXV demo. If the game is as good as the demo then I have little to worry about.
  • Is anyone really surprised that Wild Hunt is winning all these Game of the Year awards? That game is the truth.
  • Fallout 4 might as well be a Sims game at this point because I spend all of my time building this town and trying to keep all of the settlers happy instead of trying to rescue my own son. D:
  • We’re playing Elder Scrolls Online, and it’s not bad at all. Since there is no way to play Skyrim on the PS4 (that I know of) I’ve been missing that whole world a lot. This is not a bad replacement for that.
  • J-Stars Victory VS is pretty enjoyable. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone who isn’t a huge fan of shounen though because most of the enjoyment comes from being able to interact with some of your favorite characters. Otherwise, it is just a fighting/hack-and-slash type game that can get stale after a while. Naturally, my main is Toriko AKA flawless, blue-haired, muscular, culinary king of my soul.
  • I got Hatoful Boyfriend (finally) for shits and giggles. Yeah… I got assassinated by ninja birds on my first playthrough, and then the MC ended up hitting on that sleepy teacher in my second playthrough. Supposedly, if you get all the endings it will unlock this other game within HB that sounds pretty dark from what I read. Something about the apocalypse and murders…? Wow. Just wow. This game is definitely amusing if anything else.
  • Just Dance 2016 is fun. I really love that you only need your phone as a controller this time around because I wasn’t really feeling the kinect or PS camera thing. I also didn’t feel like buying one of those PS move controllers because I’ll never use it outside of that one game. So… yeah. It’s great. It definitely gets the heart pumping, that’s for sure. I stay dancing to “Dagomba”, “Gangnam Style” and “Moves Like Jagger” all day though. Like, that’s all I ever feel like dancing to. I need to branch out more. They added “Ievan Polkka” from Miku in this one BTW. Kinda WTF but cute nonetheless. I’ll probably try to make JD my means of daily exercise since I am utterly incapable of doing anything active that isn’t fun. -_-
  • I watched a playthrough of Until Dawn on YT, and it’s a really good game! Now I want to actually play it. Watch me end the game with zero survivors though.
  • Not really a video game, but Mark and I decided to try out “Cards Against Humanity” and… yeah. That game will make you laugh at some horrible things and leave you questioning your morals. Play it. Even if you don’t have enough people (like us), you can just make up your own rules. Mark’s humor is way darker than mine so he tends to win.

✪ Books ✪

  • I finally gave in and ordered “The World of Ice and Fire”. That art is amazing. I really loved the contributions that Magali Villeneuve made. Of course, all of the details about ASOIAF in there are extremely pleasing too. It’s just a great book to have. And massive. There is no way that book is under ten pounds.
  • I’m starting on “Song of Solomon”. I already know Toni Morrison writes amazing books, so I don’t need to wonder if it is any good. I loved “The Bluest Eye”. I loved “Sula”. It is so hard to put her books down!
  • Honestly, I’m disappointed by the lack of reading I’ve been doing lately. I’m not really into the whole resolution thing but if I had to make one it would be to read more. I feel like my brain is growing lifeless from the lack of information I’ve been taking in outside of random, interesting articles. I’ll work on it.


✪ Music ✪

  • Most of my music life has been Pandora, “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill” on loop, “The Best of Sade” on Loop, “The Reminder” on loop, and a few songs from the Spectre OST on loop.  I love Sam Smith’s “Writing’s on the Wall” as a Bond theme. If I had to pick one song to listen to on repeat from the entire OST, though, it would be “Madeline”. That song is too beautiful for words.
  • I heard about Enya making a new album, but I haven’t had the chance to really listen to it yet. The few songs I heard as sample were… okay. Maybe I need to listen to the whole thing in its entirety before I decide that they are not as good as previous works. It’s not like Enya can really do wrong. At her worst, a song is not as good as another song she made, but it is still relaxing/inspiring/good shit in general.
  • If there is a list of top ten game composers and Masashi Hamauzu isn’t somewhere on it then I’m not taking your list seriously at all. Then again, I understand that he is not the most popular composer. Fine. But if you don’t have Masashi Hamauzu then you gotta have Nobuo Uematsu, Yoko Shimomura, Koji Kondo, AND Yasunori Mitsuda. All of them. Because they are actual game music legends.
  • I’m super excited about the FFXV soundtrack. Sadly, I’m more excited about it than the game. Yikes/Zoinks/Whoops/etc. I have to buy it the moment it gets released. I know sometimes soundtracks get released before their games, so I’ll have to buy that and hope there are no spoilers in the tracklist. I feel personally attacked by every composer who puts “____ Dies” as a song title. LOL. There has to be a more creative title you can make about someone’s death. It’ll be like John Williams naming a song “This Is The Song For When Luke Finds Out Vader Is His Dad”. Dude… Okay, I’m done ranting about that. Hopefully, the whole tracklist will be in Japanese and I can just avoid all translations until I beat the game. Hopefully.


✪ TV & Movies ✪

  • I saw Spectre… and let’s just say the best things about it were some of the songs and Christoph Waltz. 😦
  • After Mark harassing me to see John Wick since the dawn on time I finally saw it, and I am glad that I did. The fight scenes were GREAT. So now I’m going to harass everyone else to watch John Wick before the second one comes out.
  • Jessica Jones was a pleasure to watch. I have nothing bad to say about it. I’m always looking forward to more Daredevil though. I probably mentioned more than once that he is my favorite comic book character. The TV series really proved how awesome he is after that Ben Affleck movie kind of ruined him for a lot of people. Just wait until The Defenders, guys. He is going to kick so much ass. Again.
  • Thanks to Amazon Prime I got a watch a few great shows these past few months. There is Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Sopranos, Hand of God, and a few others. The Wire remains at the top of my watchlist with Boardwalk Empire. I just haven’t gotten around to them yet. Really, I wish HBO Now would just put an app on the PS4 already. Amazon Prime pretty much has every great HBO show except Game of Thrones. I have… ways… of watching Game of Thrones, but I’d prefer to do it the… right… way. I feel safer, I guess. LOL. Anyway, time will tell. Hopefully, that happens before April rolls around.
  • Speaking of Game of Thrones, I don’t think I’ve discussed last season yet. It’s probably because save for a few moments it was kind of a disappointment for me. I don’t even want to get into that controversial scene with Sansa. I am one of those people who saw no point in it besides the writers trying to use some tired method of motivating a male character to change by doing heinous things to a female character. It’s right up there with the whole “fridging the wife” trope. I guess some writers feel like the only reason for anyone to do the right thing is to wait until someone they care about is assaulted or murdered. It’s so tired at this point. …And here I am ranting. Whatever. I got that pet peeve off my chest. -_-
  • I’m sure that I saw more things, but I can’t remember them all. I guess that’s it…


✪ Whatever Else/Closing ✪

I’m off!

Tonight, I see The Force Awakens. Tomorrow, I try to be productive. Monday through Wednesday I work and wrap up Christmas shopping. From Thursday to Sunday I’m off. Oh, and I have tickets to see The Force Awakens again on Christmas. LOL. So, this week might just be damn near spectacular.

I hope everyone enjoys their week too.

Let’s remember that regardless of our religions or backgrounds or whatnot there is no excuse not to be nice to people. So, no matter what you celebrate or don’t celebrate, take this time to be nice… or nicer. That’s all.

That’s the best closing you’ll get from me. I’m distracted by The Sopranos. Sorry. XD

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