099: The Sound of the End

I’m not apologizing. Face the truth, cowards.

✪ Personal Life ✪

  • It’s hot and I hate the sun.
  • Wow, I haven’t done one of these in a while. Um… let’s just say I don’t know what boredom is anymore??? LOL. If there isn’t something I need to do then there is something I want to do. It’s nice. Not complaining at all. I have been spoiling myself something fierce lately, but oddly enough my favorite splurge is the least expensive one. I got a hardcover journal, washi tapes, stickers, a bunch of pretty writing utensils, and started working on the cutest journal of all time. Never underestimate the power of a good journal/diary. I always feel productive when I fill a page up and decorate it with adorable crap. Yeah… Being so in touch with all things creative is really amazing. I am blessed infinitely in that aspect. I cannot imagine a life where I do not have a creative bone in my body. It sounds like hell. D:
  • Momocon with Tiffa, Mark, and Ashley was a blast! I consider it my first real convention experience because the other conventions I went to were not even half as crowded and exciting as Momocon. I really loved it. The cosplays were amazing, the shops ruined me financially (LMAO), and I just loved the energy of the place. Everyone was just showing their passion for their interests. I loved it. I really did. I hope the next convention I go to will be the complete experience. I’ll fight my antisocial ways to do it! I want to go on a road trip and stay in a hotel and go everyday, you know? I’m interested in EXPCon in Florida and Dragon-Con, but we’ll see how that all goes. Either way, I’m gonna make sure I save up a shitload of money this time… and maybe bring a portable chair so we don’t have to eat on the floor again. 😛
  • On to the not-so-good things. A recurring theme of the past year has been death. Death, death, and more death. Sometimes talking about it helps. Sometimes I talk to the wrong people about it and it just makes shit worse. It all depends. *sigh* Let’s just move on to something else…
  • Uh… Did I mention getting a new laptop? I don’t know. I’m just glad to have a laptop that can actually close. LMAO. The last one would snap at the hinges and make scary noises if we tried to close it. Then again, it’s like… ten years old. It still works and everything, but I have to carry it like a newborn or something because the slightest thing can make it break. Anyway, I love this laptop. I named it Drogon because obvious reasons.
  • Was politics always this draining? Geez… Next bullet point.
  • I got a wisdom tooth pulled out because it was hurting like all hell. It wasn’t too bad though. Once the bleeding stopped it was easy street after that. Can’t say the pain was too bad either. I thought it would be terrible, but after a day it was pretty much nonexistent. Also: laughing gas. So much fun! LOL. I promise I don’t have any drug problems (surprise, right?). It was just fun… and I would understand if someone took laughing gas regularly but I would not recommend it. >>
  • I did so much cleaning in 24 hours that I want to high five myself. Good job, Kerri! ❤
  • So… We finally got a washer and dryer and we were *SO* close to not living like peasants until we learned that our old-as-balls apartment had outlets in the laundry room that do not work and a dryer outlet that doesn’t match modern day prongs. So… Yeah… We’re working on getting that shit handled. My gut tells me that an electrician will have to get involved, though, and I don’t like strangers in my home. *cries forever*
  • I really underestimated the soothing power of face masks. I will not make the same mistake again.
  • … Debating giving someone permission to touch my eyebrows and my hair because it looks fun, but at the same time I have to give a firm no. *sigh* Why am I like this? LOL. Sometimes I think the only way I’ll get over this overwhelming hatred of being touched by strangers is… being touched by strangers… which is also a firm no. Ugh, I’m hopeless.
  • I think that’s it? I don’t know. I write most of my personal life crap in my journal, so discussing some things feel repetitive. I guess I should move on for now.

 

✪ Art & Writing ✪

  • FUCK YEAH.
  • SO MUCH DRAWING.
  • SO MUCH WRITING.
  • Whoo~
  • Okay, I’m done.
  • It’s pretty sad that I have to keep telling myself “smaller eyes, bigger nose” every time I draw. Anime continues to ruin my life. ;_;
  • Well, as productive as I am, I would still love just one week in a remote, quiet place to write and draw to my heart’s content. I think once I generate enough PTO I’m just going to rent a cabin somewhere with Mark, and he can do all his nerd hobbies in peace and I can do all my nerd hobbies in peace and then we can reunite throughout the day to share a meal or blabber about our accomplishments. That sounds so nice. ^^

✪ Anime & Manga ✪.

  • “Kado: The Right Answer” went from interesting to WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON so damn fast.
  • Diamond is Unbreakable had the nerves to end on me. I am so offended. I miss it so much.
  • WOW. I found this anime called “Room Mate” and I don’t even know how to feel about it. First of all, these first-person animes always feel like Dora the Explorer for otakus. Secondly, I cannot deal with the guys having their clothes randomly disappear during the end credits. Lastly, the fanservice is so blatant. I don’t know… let’s see if this gets as bad as that pillow anime. You know the one I’m talking about.
  • The new Berserk anime follows the manga so well! I can get past the.. um… “unique” graphics for that reason. Actually, the graphics are not so bad once you get used to them. I’m just not 100% into traditionally 2D animes using CGI and stuff like that. I’m getting over it though.
  • Speaking of Berserk, the manga is finally at a point where Casca is in Elfheim and her mind is being examined. It only took an eternity to get to this point, right? Anyway, there will be more at the end of June. I’m ready. It’s time. Something needs to be done with Casca because as adorable as she is in this mentality-of-a-toddler state, I miss the old sword-swinging Casca that yells at Guts when he’s being arrogant and stupid. 😀
  • I’m debating about trying VRV because it has some animes that I can’t find on Crunchyroll but… I don’t know. I think I already have too many streaming services right now. LOL
  • My nephews suggested that I finally watch “Kill La Kill”. LMAO. I used to make their formula and change their diapers, and now they’re telling me what anime to watch. Ugh, time… time is so weird.
  • Can I put Steven Universe in this section? Well… Who is going to stop me? Fufufu~ Anyway, Steven Universe is getting so intense. This is how cartoons are supposed to be! I used to pity children because all they had to watch were the same High-School-Musical-esque crap that Disney was spitting out, but now shows are getting so good that children like my nephews actually have good shows with important storylines. I think we’re in an animation renaissance right now and we don’t even know it. Uh… back on point… Steven Universe is good and animation is so important. Okay, thanks.

 

✪ Video Games ✪

  • Where the hell do I even start? Damn.
  • My only complaint about Persona 5 is that it didn’t last for the rest of my life. In other words, it’s amazing. But Persona is always amazing so no one is surprised. (Take some pages from Atlus’ book, Square).
  • Every time I see an article calling Nier: Automata a “surprise hit” I internally snicker because the original NieR was a fucking masterpiece and it’s sad that it wasn’t appreciated because of the same baby reviewers whining about graphics. I am so tired of whining about graphics. Which goes to my next game…
  • Officially tired of hearing whining about the Mass Effect: Andromeda graphics. It was not as good as the last Mass Effect games. I get it. But sometimes I have to sit through endless bitching about the graphics before anyone gets to the characters or gameplay. Can we please stop talking about graphics already -_-? It’s like… bitching about art. If you don’t like it then deal with it. No one cares. Every game should have its own unique style, and not be held to this “but-does-it-look-real?” standard. …That being said, ME:A could have been better as a Mass Effect title. There were definitely points when the game felt rushed, but overall it was not a monstrosity or anything. I could easy enjoy it for hours and connect with the party members like other Mass Effect games. At worst, it’s a 7 out of 10 if graphics are a HUGE deal to you. For those of us in the gaming community who remember playing with pixelated sprites and will be forever grateful that game characters actually have fingers now (LMAO), I’ll give it an 8 out of 10. I hope Bioware can do better in the future. No love lost for the series though.
  • No, I did not forget Breath of the Wild. Of course I am playing Breath of the Wild. Or… I was playing it. It was so hard to stay focused once these new games started dropping. *sigh* Anyway, the main reason why I am not playing nonstop like I would other Zelda games is really stupid. I just can’t get over my aggravation with the weapons and armor system. When I’m in a boss battle and I end up having to give up because all of my weapons are broken, it just annoys the shit out of me. Because it stops being about hand-eye coordination and starts being about focusing on the lifespan of Link AND his damn weapons. I know, I know. GIT GUD. It’s without a doubt the best game to come out this year. Seriously. It’s an AMAZING game that deserves all of its praise. I just need to get over my own issues and appreciate the infinite amount of things this game gets right. I also need to get over how weird the Wii U gamepad feels. Not really feeling the Switch right now, so I’m not about to buy it just to play one game. -_- Anyway, I still love this game a lot. LOVE THIS GAME. I can’t wait to play more now that my other games are pretty much over.
  • I finally got into Undertale and it’s everything that everyone said it is. I am always late to everything. D:

✪ Books ✪

  • I just need to let it be known that Mark is a terrible influence, and if you ever visit a comic book shop with him he will convince you to ruin your financial situation. But he’s cute so I’ll allow it. ^^
  • The most recent comic I fell in love with was “Monstress”. The amount of effort that went into building the world alone is fucking amazing! I was so inspired by the time I caught up to the most recent issue. It’s one of the few times when I suckered myself into buying a comic just for the art and the storyline was just as good.
  • Caught up on “Saga”… and I wasn’t ready. ^^
  • I decided to read “Snotgirl” because the art is beautiful and the author who wrote “Scott Pilgrim” did the story. Overall, it is okay.
  • I finally started listening to the audiobook of “Ready Player One”. So far, it’s not bad. I’m over the explanation of common terms that every geek already knows, but I remind myself that the author is trying to make things easier to understand for those of us who did not get pushed into lockers in high school (LMAO… Why am I laughing at this? Getting pushed sucked. -_-). Anyway, I’m only four chapters in. Let’s see how the rest goes.

✪ Music ✪

  • PERSONA 5 OST
  • BREATH OF THE WILD OST
  • KINGDOM HEARTS 2.8 OST
  • NIER: AUTOMATA OST. Spoiler: ANYONE WHO SKIPS THE SONG FOR EMIL’S SHOP IS NO FRIEND OF MINE.
  • My music life has just been soundtracks after soundtracks after soundtracks, man. Loving it.

✪ TV & Movies ✪

  • Thank you for coming back into my life, Orange is the New Black.
  • I finally caught up on Silicon Valley. It’s pretty funny. I’m curious to see how it will all end since Richard just has the shittiest luck on the planet… sometimes due to his own ridiculous decisions.
  • The Handmaiden’s Tale is horrifying to watch. My goodness. Gilead is absolute hell on Earth, and just the slight possibility that it could happen makes it even worse. I mean… similar things happened to women in the past, so it’s not a huge stretch of the imagination. I’m just anxious thinking about how horribly it’s going to end.
  • At the risk of sounding petty as fuck, I am loving all these entitled, misogynistic assholes throwing a tantrum about Wonder Woman putting their favorites to shame at the box office. And now the theatre that had women-only screenings are being sued? Really? You have nothing else to spend your time and money on? LMAO. Mantrums. Gotta love ’em. By the way, when I went to see Wonder Woman with Mark this dude behind us straight up wolf-whistled when Diana changed into Wonder Woman, and I lost count of how many people were straight up glaring in his direction. Maybe this is why women don’t want to watch movie with ya’ll. I know, I know. “Not all men”. But even Mark–a man–was ashamed of his gender after that happened and completely understood why women would want to appreciate the significance of a successful superheroine movie without some horny creep ruining it. …I’m going to stop ranting because it’s completely overshadowing what this movie accomplished. Years ago, no one wanted to touch it because they adamantly believed that a superhero movie starring a female hero would flop. Now we have this superheroine who is tough enough to lift a tank but feminine and cute enough to lose her cool when she sees a cute baby or eats ice cream (IT IS THE CUTEST THING). I love it. I will bury the lesser members of the male gender attempting to ruin this by appreciating all the women and men who supported this movie, and appreciated it too. Well done, Patty Jenkins, and thank you! ^^
  • Speaking of movie making me proud to be who I am (LMAO), that Black Panther teaser had me in tears. WOW. I mean… to see black people living in Africa and they’re not starving or being saved by fair-skinned saviors is a huge deal. And anyone who says “Meh-meh-meh-it’s-not-about-race” or “Bleh-bleh-bleh-SJW-ruin-everything” can fall off a cliff. Shut the fuck up and miss me with that “we’re all the same” bullshit until you open a fucking book about inequality in our society. *deep breath* Sorry. Ignore, ignore, I know. Anyway, it really means a lot as a black woman to see black women depicted as fierce warriors, and to see Wakanda so rich in the culture of Africa that movie tend to either overlook or mock. Seriously, when I watch black reviewers get teary-eyed as a reaction to the teaser… it is so beautiful and I understand 100% how it feels. If I have children they will watch this movie one day. My nephews will watch this movie one day. It is so important for them to watch a movie and not see people who look like them being enslaved or thrown in prison or being feared as “thugs”. So, that’s why I got teary eyed. I am just proud that we went from blackface to this colorful, beautiful assembly of black characters in a throne room who are thriving in a society where they are not the minority. That’s all. And if that makes me a SJW then I am just fine with it. If looking forward to a society where everyone can be proud of who they are is being a SJW then sign me the fuck up. LOL. Anyway, I’m excited. I’m really excited. I can’t wait until February. T u T

✪ Whatever Else/Closing ✪

*Phew* Glad I got that all out! 😛

All in all, I am doing a-okay, and doing my best to enjoy life as I move into my 30th year.

Moments like going to Momocon with Tiffa and Ashley remind me that life really is about smiling and laughing as much as possible. I want continue doing the things I love with the people I love so that I never lose sight of what matters during the darkest hours of my life. It’s my goal to value strength above all else. The strength to overcome, the strength to endure, and the strength to keep hope. And if that sounds cheesy then it sounds cheesy. That’s just how I I feel.

*sigh* Okay, I’m off. I have more weekend left to enjoy and I haven’t even started playing Breath of the Wild yet. I can’t wait until that four-day weekend at the start of July. Yes… I am so ready to get into another writing marathon! (:<

074: I Thought I Could Organize Freedom

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☆彡 First thing first, the 26th birthday. It was a blast. Despite having to spend the start of it dealing with emission and car tags, Mark and I managed to make it enjoyable. Afterwards, we saw Pacific Rim. I really liked it. It was like a 2-hour live action anime about mechs and giant monsters. If that is right up your alley then you should definitely see it . Um…where was I? Ah, yes. After the movie we had lunch. After lunch we did some browsing in various stores. After browsing we had tres leche cake, watched movies, and made Japanese-style curry for dinner. Overall, it was exactly how I like my birthdays: peaceful, fun, private, and filled with my favorite things. I hope all of my birthdays are like this. As Mark said, my birthday is technically the start of the year for me, so I hope to see more good things until this time around in 2014.

★彡 I am loving the free Assassin’s Creed 2 DL from XBL along with all the recent updates from Animal Crossing: New Leaf. Nookling Junction upgraded to a bigger 24-hour store, Sabel (such a cutie ;.;) gave me permission to use QR codes–I am now dressed as Bioshock Infinite‘s Elizabeth thanks to that, and a new shoe store opened. Let’s just say that I’m glad I’m not even half the fashionista IRL that I am in ACNL. I spent roughly $1,000 bells on shoes alone. That does not translate well in reality.

☆彡 Speaking of Bioshock Infinite, I finally finished the game. That ending was insane! At least to me. I was not expecting that at all. Veeeeeery good ending. And also a very, very, very good game. This game is worthy of all the praise it receives. It is amazing! /fangirling I can’t wait to get my own copy so I can avoid the headache of rushing and returning it promptly. 1999 mode without any Dollar Bill vending machines is most likely my next step in BI. Let’s see how that goes.

★彡 Interracial relationships are not for thin-skinned people. I cannot press that enough. You have to accept early on that racist comments will come, and they will not stop coming. Furthermore, these comments will come from people of all races, ages, genders, backgrounds, etc. They will even come from your family and friends. These individuals may even be multiracial themselves (this has happened to us), or in their own interracial relationship (this has also happened to us). That is why it is so important for both parties in an interracial relationship to be tough. More than tough, you have to train yourself to not become angry about it. You’ll only damage your sanity on behalf of some ignorant lowlife. It’s an awful trade to make. One thing Mark and I learned over the years is to just laugh at people like that. They’re clowns if they honestly believe their 1913 mentality will translate well in 2013.

Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

☆彡 I am entirely obsessed with the Dangan Ronpa series right now. I found the LP archive for both DR1 and DR2, and I pretty much went on a nonstop reading spree soon after. Of course, I am following the anime as well. Even though I know what’s going to happen, it’s neat to see it in animation. I heard the games were getting localized, too, but I’ll have to see if that’s true. I’m excited either way. On a side note, I really want Monobear’s ability to push a button and punish people. Where can I buy that? Home Depot?

★彡 That Superman/Batman movie announcement. *falls down* But also that lack of Wonder Woman announcements. *stands up and walks away*

☆彡 If you didn’t know, Adobe is giving out free copies of Photoshop and other programs. It’s straight from the company as opposed to some seedy background website. So, get it while you can! Also, the ASOIAF boxset is on sale on Amazon. Get that too! (I promise I’m not a saleswoman for Adobe or GRRM or something)

★彡 Being held back by own skill level makes me want to ram my head into a brick wall until there is nothing left for my neck to hold. Yeah, yeah, I know. Practice makes perfect. I’m working on it…

☆彡 I am beginning to hate sleep. On some days, I welcome a little nap here and there, but on most days I feel like sleep is just wasting time. Being tired feels like being nagged. I only go to bed when I find that my mind can’t do anything else but think about going to bed. My better days are the days when I don’t sleep at all. I am trying to train myself to live off of naps scattered throughout the day. A little four hours at nights. An hour around lunchtime (since I never seem to be hungry around lunch hour). An hour or two around evening. Before I know it, I’d have accumulated 6-8 hours of sleep. It’s a tricky experiment…but an experiment I’ll try nonetheless.

★彡 After reading Equus, I am 100% sure that I have to see the play now. Another thing to add on my “I Should Do This But I Probably Won’t Because My Day-To-Day Habits Are More Comfortable” list. I will say this though. If the message of Equus is what Dr. Dysart spoke about when he said he envied Alan (basically, he believes it is better to have psychotic levels of passion over monotony), I will have to politely disagree with that message. Perhaps it is the fact that “moderation, modesty, and mercy” is my most important mantra for life, but I strongly believe that everything needs a balance. You can be religious without being a zealot. You can like horses without sexualizing them. Conversely, in the case of Dysart, you can be a part of a marriage that isn’t infuriatingly dull. This is why I do not like extremes in the first place. In some cases, yes, extremes are necessary, but choosing a harmful choice when the middleground is harmless seems…unnecessary.  Then again, it is possible that I’m completely overlooking something obvious due to my bad habit of over-analyzing the littlest things. For example, it is likely that Dysart is insane himself; therefore, questioning his logic would be illogical. His dream may be an indicator of that. It is not the violent aspect of it that hints at his possible insanity, but the obvious connection it has to his profession as a child psychologist. He feels (and clearly stated this) as if every time he cures patients like Alan of their madness, he is ridding them of their passion–that same passion he yearns for in his marriage and life in general. Eh…once more, I’m probably over-analyzing. So, I will just end this by saying that I enjoyed the book/play, and I look forward to other interpretations of it. Yes…let’s end this. It’s dragging on. LOL

☆彡 I am annoyed by individuals who know that a relationship is either never going to happen or is already over, yet continue to force it. Even if I am not a part of an ordeal like that, I still want to scream: “Move on already!” Maybe this is why my pity towards Jorah Mormont went from existent to non-existent so quickly. It is clear that he has strong feelings for Dany, but the fact that he just won’t leave her alone is starting to get on my nerves.  I suppose the main reason why this is a pet peeve of mine is the arrogance. It does take a lot of nerve to listen to someone say “This relationship isn’t going to happen” or “This relationship is done”, and reply with: “Yes, it is! You’ll see! I’ll show you! You just don’t know any better! You’ll change your mind because I’m good for you and you know it!” It just completely disrespects someone who has the right to say “no”. I have a strong feeling that Jorah is going to drive himself over the edge in the end (because sleeping with prostitutes that look like Dany and kidnapping Tyrion to “please” Dany isn’t over-the-edge enough?). I hope GRRM doesn’t end up romanticizing this type of behavior the way romance stories do. The whole following-someone-across-the-globe-to-publicly-declare-your-love bullshit really needs to stop. It just gives men, especially, the horrible idea of stalking women who aren’t interested in them because they believe women always say the opposite of what they really want. Some women may meet that description, but most of them do not. When a woman is done with you, she is done. Stalking isn’t cute. It’ll just end up getting you tossed in jail. Or, since Jorah is a part of the ASOIAF series, he’ll likely end up dead for it.

Death by dragon.

Drogon (and/or Viserion and/or Rhaegal): “Stay away from my mom, nerd.” *barbeques*

….Something like that…

★彡 Oh, yeah. I found out today that some commenter complained to Neil Gaiman that GRRM won’t write his book faster, and Neil Gaiman told that commenter that GRRM isn’t his bitch. Yes, Mr. Gaiman. Yes. Seriously, though. If you want quality stories/art, you need to give creators all the time they need. Otherwise, you end up with trite crap that you’ll surely end up nagging about later. Which is essentially what Neil Gaiman pointed out. I just think some fans have a hard time accepting that they do not own the creator or the fandom itself. That world was created by someone else, it belongs to someone else, and the opportunity to share it is just that…an opportunity. It is not a right. Then again, commenters like that remind me of those kids who came to your house and threw a tantrum because they couldn’t control your toys. Brats. They’re just brats.

☆彡 As much as I hate throwing my drawings away, I really have nowhere else to put them. I know that the greatest benefit of digital drawings is not having to deal with that crap. However, I love traditional drawing. It’s like…comparing reading a physical book to reading it on kindle or something. There is nothing wrong with kindle. I am just the type of person who likes to use every sense possible when it comes to my hobbies. I absolutely love to feel different tools and blend with my fingers and smell certain art supplies (the ones that give off pleasant smells anyway). I don’t hate making digital art at all. It just feels…incomplete. That’s the same reason why I prefer physical books over digital ones. They do take up a lot of room, and thank everything good in this world that I am living with someone who doesn’t mind that, but books are something I need to feel. The smell, the texture of the cover, the page-flipping sound–those things can’t really be replicated with digital versions. Anyway, I am just “old school” when it comes to things like drawing and reading. Maybe even video games. The idea of playing games without controllers bothers me a little. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy things like kinect for certain games, but all games being motion and/or voice controlled? Nah, son.

★彡 You ever had a meal so delicious that you envied the chef because (s)he can make it every night without paying $8 for one plate? Yeah, that’s how I feel every time I have Japanese food. I could easily grab a Japanese cookbook, but I don’t know if I’ll like the foods made by the chefs who write them. Risky, risky. Despite this, though, I still want Christine Ha’s cookbook. I am confident that her food will be delicious AND I’m incredibly curious. *sigh* Food is great. Food will be the end of me. Actually…that’s not a bad end. I can just eat until I fall into a food coma, sleep, and die.

☆彡 VERONICA MARS MOVIE IS REALLY HAPPENING. NOTHING ELSE TO SAY.

Yes…I have volumes.

With that said, I am bringing an extra set of headphones with me this week because it is “royal baby” week, and the only thing worse than listening to pointless chatter is listening to everyone chatting about the same pointless topic.

Later.

15x73pf

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