099: The Sound of the End

I’m not apologizing. Face the truth, cowards.

✪ Personal Life ✪

  • It’s hot and I hate the sun.
  • Wow, I haven’t done one of these in a while. Um… let’s just say I don’t know what boredom is anymore??? LOL. If there isn’t something I need to do then there is something I want to do. It’s nice. Not complaining at all. I have been spoiling myself something fierce lately, but oddly enough my favorite splurge is the least expensive one. I got a hardcover journal, washi tapes, stickers, a bunch of pretty writing utensils, and started working on the cutest journal of all time. Never underestimate the power of a good journal/diary. I always feel productive when I fill a page up and decorate it with adorable crap. Yeah… Being so in touch with all things creative is really amazing. I am blessed infinitely in that aspect. I cannot imagine a life where I do not have a creative bone in my body. It sounds like hell. D:
  • Momocon with Tiffa, Mark, and Ashley was a blast! I consider it my first real convention experience because the other conventions I went to were not even half as crowded and exciting as Momocon. I really loved it. The cosplays were amazing, the shops ruined me financially (LMAO), and I just loved the energy of the place. Everyone was just showing their passion for their interests. I loved it. I really did. I hope the next convention I go to will be the complete experience. I’ll fight my antisocial ways to do it! I want to go on a road trip and stay in a hotel and go everyday, you know? I’m interested in EXPCon in Florida and Dragon-Con, but we’ll see how that all goes. Either way, I’m gonna make sure I save up a shitload of money this time… and maybe bring a portable chair so we don’t have to eat on the floor again. 😛
  • On to the not-so-good things. A recurring theme of the past year has been death. Death, death, and more death. Sometimes talking about it helps. Sometimes I talk to the wrong people about it and it just makes shit worse. It all depends. *sigh* Let’s just move on to something else…
  • Uh… Did I mention getting a new laptop? I don’t know. I’m just glad to have a laptop that can actually close. LMAO. The last one would snap at the hinges and make scary noises if we tried to close it. Then again, it’s like… ten years old. It still works and everything, but I have to carry it like a newborn or something because the slightest thing can make it break. Anyway, I love this laptop. I named it Drogon because obvious reasons.
  • Was politics always this draining? Geez… Next bullet point.
  • I got a wisdom tooth pulled out because it was hurting like all hell. It wasn’t too bad though. Once the bleeding stopped it was easy street after that. Can’t say the pain was too bad either. I thought it would be terrible, but after a day it was pretty much nonexistent. Also: laughing gas. So much fun! LOL. I promise I don’t have any drug problems (surprise, right?). It was just fun… and I would understand if someone took laughing gas regularly but I would not recommend it. >>
  • I did so much cleaning in 24 hours that I want to high five myself. Good job, Kerri! ❤
  • So… We finally got a washer and dryer and we were *SO* close to not living like peasants until we learned that our old-as-balls apartment had outlets in the laundry room that do not work and a dryer outlet that doesn’t match modern day prongs. So… Yeah… We’re working on getting that shit handled. My gut tells me that an electrician will have to get involved, though, and I don’t like strangers in my home. *cries forever*
  • I really underestimated the soothing power of face masks. I will not make the same mistake again.
  • … Debating giving someone permission to touch my eyebrows and my hair because it looks fun, but at the same time I have to give a firm no. *sigh* Why am I like this? LOL. Sometimes I think the only way I’ll get over this overwhelming hatred of being touched by strangers is… being touched by strangers… which is also a firm no. Ugh, I’m hopeless.
  • I think that’s it? I don’t know. I write most of my personal life crap in my journal, so discussing some things feel repetitive. I guess I should move on for now.

 

✪ Art & Writing ✪

  • FUCK YEAH.
  • SO MUCH DRAWING.
  • SO MUCH WRITING.
  • Whoo~
  • Okay, I’m done.
  • It’s pretty sad that I have to keep telling myself “smaller eyes, bigger nose” every time I draw. Anime continues to ruin my life. ;_;
  • Well, as productive as I am, I would still love just one week in a remote, quiet place to write and draw to my heart’s content. I think once I generate enough PTO I’m just going to rent a cabin somewhere with Mark, and he can do all his nerd hobbies in peace and I can do all my nerd hobbies in peace and then we can reunite throughout the day to share a meal or blabber about our accomplishments. That sounds so nice. ^^

✪ Anime & Manga ✪.

  • “Kado: The Right Answer” went from interesting to WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON so damn fast.
  • Diamond is Unbreakable had the nerves to end on me. I am so offended. I miss it so much.
  • WOW. I found this anime called “Room Mate” and I don’t even know how to feel about it. First of all, these first-person animes always feel like Dora the Explorer for otakus. Secondly, I cannot deal with the guys having their clothes randomly disappear during the end credits. Lastly, the fanservice is so blatant. I don’t know… let’s see if this gets as bad as that pillow anime. You know the one I’m talking about.
  • The new Berserk anime follows the manga so well! I can get past the.. um… “unique” graphics for that reason. Actually, the graphics are not so bad once you get used to them. I’m just not 100% into traditionally 2D animes using CGI and stuff like that. I’m getting over it though.
  • Speaking of Berserk, the manga is finally at a point where Casca is in Elfheim and her mind is being examined. It only took an eternity to get to this point, right? Anyway, there will be more at the end of June. I’m ready. It’s time. Something needs to be done with Casca because as adorable as she is in this mentality-of-a-toddler state, I miss the old sword-swinging Casca that yells at Guts when he’s being arrogant and stupid. 😀
  • I’m debating about trying VRV because it has some animes that I can’t find on Crunchyroll but… I don’t know. I think I already have too many streaming services right now. LOL
  • My nephews suggested that I finally watch “Kill La Kill”. LMAO. I used to make their formula and change their diapers, and now they’re telling me what anime to watch. Ugh, time… time is so weird.
  • Can I put Steven Universe in this section? Well… Who is going to stop me? Fufufu~ Anyway, Steven Universe is getting so intense. This is how cartoons are supposed to be! I used to pity children because all they had to watch were the same High-School-Musical-esque crap that Disney was spitting out, but now shows are getting so good that children like my nephews actually have good shows with important storylines. I think we’re in an animation renaissance right now and we don’t even know it. Uh… back on point… Steven Universe is good and animation is so important. Okay, thanks.

 

✪ Video Games ✪

  • Where the hell do I even start? Damn.
  • My only complaint about Persona 5 is that it didn’t last for the rest of my life. In other words, it’s amazing. But Persona is always amazing so no one is surprised. (Take some pages from Atlus’ book, Square).
  • Every time I see an article calling Nier: Automata a “surprise hit” I internally snicker because the original NieR was a fucking masterpiece and it’s sad that it wasn’t appreciated because of the same baby reviewers whining about graphics. I am so tired of whining about graphics. Which goes to my next game…
  • Officially tired of hearing whining about the Mass Effect: Andromeda graphics. It was not as good as the last Mass Effect games. I get it. But sometimes I have to sit through endless bitching about the graphics before anyone gets to the characters or gameplay. Can we please stop talking about graphics already -_-? It’s like… bitching about art. If you don’t like it then deal with it. No one cares. Every game should have its own unique style, and not be held to this “but-does-it-look-real?” standard. …That being said, ME:A could have been better as a Mass Effect title. There were definitely points when the game felt rushed, but overall it was not a monstrosity or anything. I could easy enjoy it for hours and connect with the party members like other Mass Effect games. At worst, it’s a 7 out of 10 if graphics are a HUGE deal to you. For those of us in the gaming community who remember playing with pixelated sprites and will be forever grateful that game characters actually have fingers now (LMAO), I’ll give it an 8 out of 10. I hope Bioware can do better in the future. No love lost for the series though.
  • No, I did not forget Breath of the Wild. Of course I am playing Breath of the Wild. Or… I was playing it. It was so hard to stay focused once these new games started dropping. *sigh* Anyway, the main reason why I am not playing nonstop like I would other Zelda games is really stupid. I just can’t get over my aggravation with the weapons and armor system. When I’m in a boss battle and I end up having to give up because all of my weapons are broken, it just annoys the shit out of me. Because it stops being about hand-eye coordination and starts being about focusing on the lifespan of Link AND his damn weapons. I know, I know. GIT GUD. It’s without a doubt the best game to come out this year. Seriously. It’s an AMAZING game that deserves all of its praise. I just need to get over my own issues and appreciate the infinite amount of things this game gets right. I also need to get over how weird the Wii U gamepad feels. Not really feeling the Switch right now, so I’m not about to buy it just to play one game. -_- Anyway, I still love this game a lot. LOVE THIS GAME. I can’t wait to play more now that my other games are pretty much over.
  • I finally got into Undertale and it’s everything that everyone said it is. I am always late to everything. D:

✪ Books ✪

  • I just need to let it be known that Mark is a terrible influence, and if you ever visit a comic book shop with him he will convince you to ruin your financial situation. But he’s cute so I’ll allow it. ^^
  • The most recent comic I fell in love with was “Monstress”. The amount of effort that went into building the world alone is fucking amazing! I was so inspired by the time I caught up to the most recent issue. It’s one of the few times when I suckered myself into buying a comic just for the art and the storyline was just as good.
  • Caught up on “Saga”… and I wasn’t ready. ^^
  • I decided to read “Snotgirl” because the art is beautiful and the author who wrote “Scott Pilgrim” did the story. Overall, it is okay.
  • I finally started listening to the audiobook of “Ready Player One”. So far, it’s not bad. I’m over the explanation of common terms that every geek already knows, but I remind myself that the author is trying to make things easier to understand for those of us who did not get pushed into lockers in high school (LMAO… Why am I laughing at this? Getting pushed sucked. -_-). Anyway, I’m only four chapters in. Let’s see how the rest goes.

✪ Music ✪

  • PERSONA 5 OST
  • BREATH OF THE WILD OST
  • KINGDOM HEARTS 2.8 OST
  • NIER: AUTOMATA OST. Spoiler: ANYONE WHO SKIPS THE SONG FOR EMIL’S SHOP IS NO FRIEND OF MINE.
  • My music life has just been soundtracks after soundtracks after soundtracks, man. Loving it.

✪ TV & Movies ✪

  • Thank you for coming back into my life, Orange is the New Black.
  • I finally caught up on Silicon Valley. It’s pretty funny. I’m curious to see how it will all end since Richard just has the shittiest luck on the planet… sometimes due to his own ridiculous decisions.
  • The Handmaiden’s Tale is horrifying to watch. My goodness. Gilead is absolute hell on Earth, and just the slight possibility that it could happen makes it even worse. I mean… similar things happened to women in the past, so it’s not a huge stretch of the imagination. I’m just anxious thinking about how horribly it’s going to end.
  • At the risk of sounding petty as fuck, I am loving all these entitled, misogynistic assholes throwing a tantrum about Wonder Woman putting their favorites to shame at the box office. And now the theatre that had women-only screenings are being sued? Really? You have nothing else to spend your time and money on? LMAO. Mantrums. Gotta love ’em. By the way, when I went to see Wonder Woman with Mark this dude behind us straight up wolf-whistled when Diana changed into Wonder Woman, and I lost count of how many people were straight up glaring in his direction. Maybe this is why women don’t want to watch movie with ya’ll. I know, I know. “Not all men”. But even Mark–a man–was ashamed of his gender after that happened and completely understood why women would want to appreciate the significance of a successful superheroine movie without some horny creep ruining it. …I’m going to stop ranting because it’s completely overshadowing what this movie accomplished. Years ago, no one wanted to touch it because they adamantly believed that a superhero movie starring a female hero would flop. Now we have this superheroine who is tough enough to lift a tank but feminine and cute enough to lose her cool when she sees a cute baby or eats ice cream (IT IS THE CUTEST THING). I love it. I will bury the lesser members of the male gender attempting to ruin this by appreciating all the women and men who supported this movie, and appreciated it too. Well done, Patty Jenkins, and thank you! ^^
  • Speaking of movie making me proud to be who I am (LMAO), that Black Panther teaser had me in tears. WOW. I mean… to see black people living in Africa and they’re not starving or being saved by fair-skinned saviors is a huge deal. And anyone who says “Meh-meh-meh-it’s-not-about-race” or “Bleh-bleh-bleh-SJW-ruin-everything” can fall off a cliff. Shut the fuck up and miss me with that “we’re all the same” bullshit until you open a fucking book about inequality in our society. *deep breath* Sorry. Ignore, ignore, I know. Anyway, it really means a lot as a black woman to see black women depicted as fierce warriors, and to see Wakanda so rich in the culture of Africa that movie tend to either overlook or mock. Seriously, when I watch black reviewers get teary-eyed as a reaction to the teaser… it is so beautiful and I understand 100% how it feels. If I have children they will watch this movie one day. My nephews will watch this movie one day. It is so important for them to watch a movie and not see people who look like them being enslaved or thrown in prison or being feared as “thugs”. So, that’s why I got teary eyed. I am just proud that we went from blackface to this colorful, beautiful assembly of black characters in a throne room who are thriving in a society where they are not the minority. That’s all. And if that makes me a SJW then I am just fine with it. If looking forward to a society where everyone can be proud of who they are is being a SJW then sign me the fuck up. LOL. Anyway, I’m excited. I’m really excited. I can’t wait until February. T u T

✪ Whatever Else/Closing ✪

*Phew* Glad I got that all out! 😛

All in all, I am doing a-okay, and doing my best to enjoy life as I move into my 30th year.

Moments like going to Momocon with Tiffa and Ashley remind me that life really is about smiling and laughing as much as possible. I want continue doing the things I love with the people I love so that I never lose sight of what matters during the darkest hours of my life. It’s my goal to value strength above all else. The strength to overcome, the strength to endure, and the strength to keep hope. And if that sounds cheesy then it sounds cheesy. That’s just how I I feel.

*sigh* Okay, I’m off. I have more weekend left to enjoy and I haven’t even started playing Breath of the Wild yet. I can’t wait until that four-day weekend at the start of July. Yes… I am so ready to get into another writing marathon! (:<

093: The Beast Is Back

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If we don’t greet each other like this then what’s the point.

I’m going to start using ‘Read More’ cuts on these entries because they can get pretty long at times. Like now.

(more…)

I’m not crying. My eyes are sweating.

 

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Credit: Pocket Aimee

awyes

They said I could do anything, so I added 714 free Marvel comics to my library.

…Now I wait and weep and repeat until they arrive.

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☆彡The Avengers movie rekindled my love for Bruce Banner and The Hulk. I’m so grateful. I really want to see The Avengers again. ;-;

☆彡 Our XBox is working again. Mark stood on it, turned it on, and it stopped showing that error message. Fucking sorcery. LOL. The thing is that it’s not completely working. If we play games with strong graphics, it locks up again. So, we’re sticking to older games, and games that don’t involve much graphics. It’s better than nothing, right? Honestly, the only game I really want to play right now is that Scott Pilgrim side-scrolling game on Live. I heard that there’s an X-Men side-scroller as well, so I want to download that too. It brings back pleasant nostalgia. Makes me want to whip out my SNES or Mark’s Genesis. And, believe it or not, they both still work perfectly. They’ve outlived one PS2, one XBox, and one semi-broken 360. Shame.

☆彡 Speaking of gaming, I’m into two MMOs right now: Requiem and Ragnarok. Both are free. Try them out, MMO fans. All you have to lose is…time. LOL. I couldn’t really complete my Ragnarok character because of scheduled maintenance, but I’m on Requiem under the character name of ‘Ilmarra’. I’ll post my Ragnarok name later. My Ragnarok name is ‘Ilmarra’ too. XD

☆彡 Speaking of maintenance (everything links together! o_o), the maintenance guy here has been fixing our stove all week. Because of our inability to cook, we’ve been eating out left and right. It sucks. After two days of fast food, my body started to shake and I became really dizzy. Twice. Once today, and once yesterday. Mark is basically living in the bathroom, so it’s definitely detox time. I hate feeling like this. I feel like I’ve been poisoned. In a way, I guess we were. Fast food is basically a chemical shitstorm. I don’t even want to think about it. It makes my everything hurt. Thankfully, the stove is working again. I’m relieved! =.=

☆彡 Library Reading List: Brave New World, Invisible Monsters, Survivor, House of M: The Incredible Hulk, and DC Universe: The Works of Alan Moore. I’m in the middle of Invisible Monsters right now, and I am reminded once more why I adore Chuck Palahniuk. I really love his work. Anyway, I have to finish these books before June 4th, so I’ll be pretty busy. It’s really criminal that I haven’t read Brave New World yet. I’ll fix that soon enough.

☆彡 May is teaching me that life has two paths: the easy path and the hard path. Down the easy path, you will always find the pathetic version of yourself. The version of yourself that you get from denial, excuses, falsehood, and weakness. Down the hard path, you will find the best version of yourself. It is you, only stronger and braver and lovelier and smarter and superior. The easy path has plenty of opportunities to give up and go back to the start, but the hard path…you barely get time to catch your breath. You’re always dodging one thing or another. You have to earn your respite. Right now, I am on that hard path. I am barely into it, and I already want to go back to the easy path where everything was predictable and effortless. But I know that I can’t. More than anything, I want that better self and that better life…so giving up is not an option for me. I guess all of this sounds cheesy and cryptic. However, it’s the best way I can sum up my life right now.

☆彡 I want to start posting weekly goals starting Sunday. It’ll be kind of bad to start in the middle of the week. -_-

☆彡 For the past few weeks, Link has been sleeping right next to my head on the my pillowcase. He usually doesn’t sleep that close to us. He’ll sleep near our feet, sometimes on our backs or butt, but never like…RIGHT next to my face. Then again, for whatever reason, he’s been super attached to me lately. I’m grateful, but I’m worried. I just hope he isn’t trying to tell me something. I always worry about him…even though he’s a cat and he far more self-sufficient than I’ll ever be.

☆彡 I think it is too late for 2012 to be a “good year” for me. I’m just going to make the best of what is left, and cross my fingers for 2012. I consider 13 an unlucky number, but who knows. It may work out better than 12.

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