099: The Sound of the End

I’m not apologizing. Face the truth, cowards.

✪ Personal Life ✪

  • It’s hot and I hate the sun.
  • Wow, I haven’t done one of these in a while. Um… let’s just say I don’t know what boredom is anymore??? LOL. If there isn’t something I need to do then there is something I want to do. It’s nice. Not complaining at all. I have been spoiling myself something fierce lately, but oddly enough my favorite splurge is the least expensive one. I got a hardcover journal, washi tapes, stickers, a bunch of pretty writing utensils, and started working on the cutest journal of all time. Never underestimate the power of a good journal/diary. I always feel productive when I fill a page up and decorate it with adorable crap. Yeah… Being so in touch with all things creative is really amazing. I am blessed infinitely in that aspect. I cannot imagine a life where I do not have a creative bone in my body. It sounds like hell. D:
  • Momocon with Tiffa, Mark, and Ashley was a blast! I consider it my first real convention experience because the other conventions I went to were not even half as crowded and exciting as Momocon. I really loved it. The cosplays were amazing, the shops ruined me financially (LMAO), and I just loved the energy of the place. Everyone was just showing their passion for their interests. I loved it. I really did. I hope the next convention I go to will be the complete experience. I’ll fight my antisocial ways to do it! I want to go on a road trip and stay in a hotel and go everyday, you know? I’m interested in EXPCon in Florida and Dragon-Con, but we’ll see how that all goes. Either way, I’m gonna make sure I save up a shitload of money this time… and maybe bring a portable chair so we don’t have to eat on the floor again. 😛
  • On to the not-so-good things. A recurring theme of the past year has been death. Death, death, and more death. Sometimes talking about it helps. Sometimes I talk to the wrong people about it and it just makes shit worse. It all depends. *sigh* Let’s just move on to something else…
  • Uh… Did I mention getting a new laptop? I don’t know. I’m just glad to have a laptop that can actually close. LMAO. The last one would snap at the hinges and make scary noises if we tried to close it. Then again, it’s like… ten years old. It still works and everything, but I have to carry it like a newborn or something because the slightest thing can make it break. Anyway, I love this laptop. I named it Drogon because obvious reasons.
  • Was politics always this draining? Geez… Next bullet point.
  • I got a wisdom tooth pulled out because it was hurting like all hell. It wasn’t too bad though. Once the bleeding stopped it was easy street after that. Can’t say the pain was too bad either. I thought it would be terrible, but after a day it was pretty much nonexistent. Also: laughing gas. So much fun! LOL. I promise I don’t have any drug problems (surprise, right?). It was just fun… and I would understand if someone took laughing gas regularly but I would not recommend it. >>
  • I did so much cleaning in 24 hours that I want to high five myself. Good job, Kerri! ❤
  • So… We finally got a washer and dryer and we were *SO* close to not living like peasants until we learned that our old-as-balls apartment had outlets in the laundry room that do not work and a dryer outlet that doesn’t match modern day prongs. So… Yeah… We’re working on getting that shit handled. My gut tells me that an electrician will have to get involved, though, and I don’t like strangers in my home. *cries forever*
  • I really underestimated the soothing power of face masks. I will not make the same mistake again.
  • … Debating giving someone permission to touch my eyebrows and my hair because it looks fun, but at the same time I have to give a firm no. *sigh* Why am I like this? LOL. Sometimes I think the only way I’ll get over this overwhelming hatred of being touched by strangers is… being touched by strangers… which is also a firm no. Ugh, I’m hopeless.
  • I think that’s it? I don’t know. I write most of my personal life crap in my journal, so discussing some things feel repetitive. I guess I should move on for now.

 

✪ Art & Writing ✪

  • FUCK YEAH.
  • SO MUCH DRAWING.
  • SO MUCH WRITING.
  • Whoo~
  • Okay, I’m done.
  • It’s pretty sad that I have to keep telling myself “smaller eyes, bigger nose” every time I draw. Anime continues to ruin my life. ;_;
  • Well, as productive as I am, I would still love just one week in a remote, quiet place to write and draw to my heart’s content. I think once I generate enough PTO I’m just going to rent a cabin somewhere with Mark, and he can do all his nerd hobbies in peace and I can do all my nerd hobbies in peace and then we can reunite throughout the day to share a meal or blabber about our accomplishments. That sounds so nice. ^^

✪ Anime & Manga ✪.

  • “Kado: The Right Answer” went from interesting to WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON so damn fast.
  • Diamond is Unbreakable had the nerves to end on me. I am so offended. I miss it so much.
  • WOW. I found this anime called “Room Mate” and I don’t even know how to feel about it. First of all, these first-person animes always feel like Dora the Explorer for otakus. Secondly, I cannot deal with the guys having their clothes randomly disappear during the end credits. Lastly, the fanservice is so blatant. I don’t know… let’s see if this gets as bad as that pillow anime. You know the one I’m talking about.
  • The new Berserk anime follows the manga so well! I can get past the.. um… “unique” graphics for that reason. Actually, the graphics are not so bad once you get used to them. I’m just not 100% into traditionally 2D animes using CGI and stuff like that. I’m getting over it though.
  • Speaking of Berserk, the manga is finally at a point where Casca is in Elfheim and her mind is being examined. It only took an eternity to get to this point, right? Anyway, there will be more at the end of June. I’m ready. It’s time. Something needs to be done with Casca because as adorable as she is in this mentality-of-a-toddler state, I miss the old sword-swinging Casca that yells at Guts when he’s being arrogant and stupid. 😀
  • I’m debating about trying VRV because it has some animes that I can’t find on Crunchyroll but… I don’t know. I think I already have too many streaming services right now. LOL
  • My nephews suggested that I finally watch “Kill La Kill”. LMAO. I used to make their formula and change their diapers, and now they’re telling me what anime to watch. Ugh, time… time is so weird.
  • Can I put Steven Universe in this section? Well… Who is going to stop me? Fufufu~ Anyway, Steven Universe is getting so intense. This is how cartoons are supposed to be! I used to pity children because all they had to watch were the same High-School-Musical-esque crap that Disney was spitting out, but now shows are getting so good that children like my nephews actually have good shows with important storylines. I think we’re in an animation renaissance right now and we don’t even know it. Uh… back on point… Steven Universe is good and animation is so important. Okay, thanks.

 

✪ Video Games ✪

  • Where the hell do I even start? Damn.
  • My only complaint about Persona 5 is that it didn’t last for the rest of my life. In other words, it’s amazing. But Persona is always amazing so no one is surprised. (Take some pages from Atlus’ book, Square).
  • Every time I see an article calling Nier: Automata a “surprise hit” I internally snicker because the original NieR was a fucking masterpiece and it’s sad that it wasn’t appreciated because of the same baby reviewers whining about graphics. I am so tired of whining about graphics. Which goes to my next game…
  • Officially tired of hearing whining about the Mass Effect: Andromeda graphics. It was not as good as the last Mass Effect games. I get it. But sometimes I have to sit through endless bitching about the graphics before anyone gets to the characters or gameplay. Can we please stop talking about graphics already -_-? It’s like… bitching about art. If you don’t like it then deal with it. No one cares. Every game should have its own unique style, and not be held to this “but-does-it-look-real?” standard. …That being said, ME:A could have been better as a Mass Effect title. There were definitely points when the game felt rushed, but overall it was not a monstrosity or anything. I could easy enjoy it for hours and connect with the party members like other Mass Effect games. At worst, it’s a 7 out of 10 if graphics are a HUGE deal to you. For those of us in the gaming community who remember playing with pixelated sprites and will be forever grateful that game characters actually have fingers now (LMAO), I’ll give it an 8 out of 10. I hope Bioware can do better in the future. No love lost for the series though.
  • No, I did not forget Breath of the Wild. Of course I am playing Breath of the Wild. Or… I was playing it. It was so hard to stay focused once these new games started dropping. *sigh* Anyway, the main reason why I am not playing nonstop like I would other Zelda games is really stupid. I just can’t get over my aggravation with the weapons and armor system. When I’m in a boss battle and I end up having to give up because all of my weapons are broken, it just annoys the shit out of me. Because it stops being about hand-eye coordination and starts being about focusing on the lifespan of Link AND his damn weapons. I know, I know. GIT GUD. It’s without a doubt the best game to come out this year. Seriously. It’s an AMAZING game that deserves all of its praise. I just need to get over my own issues and appreciate the infinite amount of things this game gets right. I also need to get over how weird the Wii U gamepad feels. Not really feeling the Switch right now, so I’m not about to buy it just to play one game. -_- Anyway, I still love this game a lot. LOVE THIS GAME. I can’t wait to play more now that my other games are pretty much over.
  • I finally got into Undertale and it’s everything that everyone said it is. I am always late to everything. D:

✪ Books ✪

  • I just need to let it be known that Mark is a terrible influence, and if you ever visit a comic book shop with him he will convince you to ruin your financial situation. But he’s cute so I’ll allow it. ^^
  • The most recent comic I fell in love with was “Monstress”. The amount of effort that went into building the world alone is fucking amazing! I was so inspired by the time I caught up to the most recent issue. It’s one of the few times when I suckered myself into buying a comic just for the art and the storyline was just as good.
  • Caught up on “Saga”… and I wasn’t ready. ^^
  • I decided to read “Snotgirl” because the art is beautiful and the author who wrote “Scott Pilgrim” did the story. Overall, it is okay.
  • I finally started listening to the audiobook of “Ready Player One”. So far, it’s not bad. I’m over the explanation of common terms that every geek already knows, but I remind myself that the author is trying to make things easier to understand for those of us who did not get pushed into lockers in high school (LMAO… Why am I laughing at this? Getting pushed sucked. -_-). Anyway, I’m only four chapters in. Let’s see how the rest goes.

✪ Music ✪

  • PERSONA 5 OST
  • BREATH OF THE WILD OST
  • KINGDOM HEARTS 2.8 OST
  • NIER: AUTOMATA OST. Spoiler: ANYONE WHO SKIPS THE SONG FOR EMIL’S SHOP IS NO FRIEND OF MINE.
  • My music life has just been soundtracks after soundtracks after soundtracks, man. Loving it.

✪ TV & Movies ✪

  • Thank you for coming back into my life, Orange is the New Black.
  • I finally caught up on Silicon Valley. It’s pretty funny. I’m curious to see how it will all end since Richard just has the shittiest luck on the planet… sometimes due to his own ridiculous decisions.
  • The Handmaiden’s Tale is horrifying to watch. My goodness. Gilead is absolute hell on Earth, and just the slight possibility that it could happen makes it even worse. I mean… similar things happened to women in the past, so it’s not a huge stretch of the imagination. I’m just anxious thinking about how horribly it’s going to end.
  • At the risk of sounding petty as fuck, I am loving all these entitled, misogynistic assholes throwing a tantrum about Wonder Woman putting their favorites to shame at the box office. And now the theatre that had women-only screenings are being sued? Really? You have nothing else to spend your time and money on? LMAO. Mantrums. Gotta love ’em. By the way, when I went to see Wonder Woman with Mark this dude behind us straight up wolf-whistled when Diana changed into Wonder Woman, and I lost count of how many people were straight up glaring in his direction. Maybe this is why women don’t want to watch movie with ya’ll. I know, I know. “Not all men”. But even Mark–a man–was ashamed of his gender after that happened and completely understood why women would want to appreciate the significance of a successful superheroine movie without some horny creep ruining it. …I’m going to stop ranting because it’s completely overshadowing what this movie accomplished. Years ago, no one wanted to touch it because they adamantly believed that a superhero movie starring a female hero would flop. Now we have this superheroine who is tough enough to lift a tank but feminine and cute enough to lose her cool when she sees a cute baby or eats ice cream (IT IS THE CUTEST THING). I love it. I will bury the lesser members of the male gender attempting to ruin this by appreciating all the women and men who supported this movie, and appreciated it too. Well done, Patty Jenkins, and thank you! ^^
  • Speaking of movie making me proud to be who I am (LMAO), that Black Panther teaser had me in tears. WOW. I mean… to see black people living in Africa and they’re not starving or being saved by fair-skinned saviors is a huge deal. And anyone who says “Meh-meh-meh-it’s-not-about-race” or “Bleh-bleh-bleh-SJW-ruin-everything” can fall off a cliff. Shut the fuck up and miss me with that “we’re all the same” bullshit until you open a fucking book about inequality in our society. *deep breath* Sorry. Ignore, ignore, I know. Anyway, it really means a lot as a black woman to see black women depicted as fierce warriors, and to see Wakanda so rich in the culture of Africa that movie tend to either overlook or mock. Seriously, when I watch black reviewers get teary-eyed as a reaction to the teaser… it is so beautiful and I understand 100% how it feels. If I have children they will watch this movie one day. My nephews will watch this movie one day. It is so important for them to watch a movie and not see people who look like them being enslaved or thrown in prison or being feared as “thugs”. So, that’s why I got teary eyed. I am just proud that we went from blackface to this colorful, beautiful assembly of black characters in a throne room who are thriving in a society where they are not the minority. That’s all. And if that makes me a SJW then I am just fine with it. If looking forward to a society where everyone can be proud of who they are is being a SJW then sign me the fuck up. LOL. Anyway, I’m excited. I’m really excited. I can’t wait until February. T u T

✪ Whatever Else/Closing ✪

*Phew* Glad I got that all out! 😛

All in all, I am doing a-okay, and doing my best to enjoy life as I move into my 30th year.

Moments like going to Momocon with Tiffa and Ashley remind me that life really is about smiling and laughing as much as possible. I want continue doing the things I love with the people I love so that I never lose sight of what matters during the darkest hours of my life. It’s my goal to value strength above all else. The strength to overcome, the strength to endure, and the strength to keep hope. And if that sounds cheesy then it sounds cheesy. That’s just how I I feel.

*sigh* Okay, I’m off. I have more weekend left to enjoy and I haven’t even started playing Breath of the Wild yet. I can’t wait until that four-day weekend at the start of July. Yes… I am so ready to get into another writing marathon! (:<

Minecraft + Mass Effect

I am still freaking out about this. I loaded my file and everything was Mass Effect. They even have music from Mass Effect so you can do Minecraft things while reliving Mass Effect things. *wheezes*

064: A Return, Indeed

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☆彡 Note to self: Regardless of how unsure I am about the direction of a story or artwork I am working on, keep going! I improve and find ideas so long as I am working on something.

★彡 I am watching Sailor Moon Super with the dubs rather than subs, and I noticed something kind of disturbing for the first time. In the subs when the sailors are scolding villains, they usually say something along the lines of “How dare you disturb someone trying to accomplish a beautiful dream!” or “I won’t let you get in the way of this couple’s pure love!”. But in the English version, it’s primarily name calling and insulting someone’s appearance. Did the translator just sit there one night and go: “There is no way American girls will relate to Sailor Moon unless we make her really superficial. Let’s have her call villains ugly, poorly dressed, and witches. Yeah, that will do it!” That is just kind of sad to me. Almost as sad as hiding the fact that some sailors are homosexuals and transsexuals/cross-dressers. Basically, it’s as if they’re saying that little girls elsewhere are mature enough to handle these concepts yet American girls cannot. That’s not even kind of sad. That’s really sad.

☆彡 While I am on the topic of Sailor Moon, one of my favorite scenes in the anime is the scene when Sailor Moon fights Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune. It perfectly embodies why I adore Usagi so much. By the way, it starts at 13m and 47s.

★彡 I did something I haven’t done in 13-14 years. I bought some compositions notebooks, and started drawing and writing in them. One book is dedicated to drawing without the stress of ruining a good sketchbook, another book is dedicated to making manga, and the last one is a database of useful information that will help me with my creations–things like mythological names, drawing/writing tips, weapons, maps, etc. I am very close to buying a new scanner too. I just need to double check some things to make sure that I’m not ruining my budget. The last object I need in my “studio” is a working tablet, but that’s not terribly important. I can still make art with good ol’ pencils and colored pencils and markers…though I definitely need some new ones. Overall, I am pretty excited! I doubt I can ever scan anything in these books, so I will have to rely on some type of photo app or something to share it. I’ll see.

☆彡 Wow, I haven’t played Final Fantasy XIII-2 in a long time. Right now I am all out of wild artefacts, and I basically have to do busy work to find another one. Mark keeps telling me to just google their locations but…I don’t like to do that. It reminds me of using notes during a test. Even if it gets the job done, I feel like I don’t deserve to celebrate any victories that come afterwards. Weird. I know. So, I’ll just have to find patience and continue combing various locations and timelines for wild artefacts. Blah. Just thinking about it makes me want to play something else.

★彡 My favorite thing about Ming (of Lost Odyssey) is that she is a scantily clad woman who is wise. It is so hard to find this type of combination. More than often, a woman who shows a lot of skin in a television show or game behaves like an airhead. It’s only a few works like Final Fantasy and Ghost in the Shell that do not use the “amount of skin a woman shows is inversely related to the amount of things a woman knows” formula. Don’t get me wrong. I know that some people do fall into stereotypes, but it’s pretty bad when all of the women in a show or game who wears revealing clothing is automatically written off as uneducated. How does that type of universe work? “Oh, wow, let me put on this tube top–” PROMPT: YOU JUST LOST 80 IQ POINTS. “Okay, I’ll just get this turtleneck then.”

☆彡 I’m debating with myself about cutting my hair because it is past my shoulders again. A part of me is slightly curious to see how far it can go, but I know that the longer it gets the more frustrated I will become with it. Maybe I should put this decision off until it does become frustrating. Yeah, that makes more sense.

★彡 Damn, The Witcher 3 is going to be awesome. You know what else is going to be awesome? Man of Steel. If I am wrong about it in a few months then I will accept my wrongness, but I am really confident about this movie. It will be to the Superman movie series what Batman Begins became to the Batman movie series. And how did this go from The Witcher 3 to Superman and Batman? D:

☆彡 What I wouldn’t give to own the entire collection of the Berserk mangas. Well…I wouldn’t give my limbs or anything like that, but I’d trade in a good amount of my possessions.

★彡 March is going to be ridiculous in terms of gaming. Just a little preview of upcoming games: Bioshock Infinite, Tomb Raider, Gears of War: Judgment, and God of War: Ascension. Yeah…I’m going to listen to the little voice in my head telling me to avoid temptation. Adding another game to my list is not going to bode well for me. -_-

☆彡 When I think about all the things I don’t know or fully understand, it makes me feel…small. Worse than accumulating careless mistakes over the years, I hate looking back and realizing that I haven’t learned a satisfactory amount of things. As funny as it is, the thing that always makes me come to this conclusion is watching Jeopardy. Yeah…I know…LOL

★彡 Pet Peeve #81: Being called “honey”, “sweetie”, etc. I feel bad about this pet peeve because Mark likes to call people “dear”, and I know a lot of decent people who use terms like that to address others, but it just gets under my skin. And, no, Mark has no pet name for me. I told him from day one that if he called me “baby” or anything like that I would vomit. He still trolls me by calling me “boobie” but that’s as far as it goes. XD

☆彡 Dolsot Bibimbap:

yes good

★彡 I really love operas. It is literally a group of people singing a story. Think about how amazing that is for a second.

☆彡I like Tyrion’s philosophy to his flaws: wear it like armor. I like it a lot.

★彡 Adult Swim is supposed to release a shitload of awesome shows on Netflix this month. Cannot handle. D:

☆彡 Mass Effect borrowed a lot from the Star Trek universe. For example, there is a race of blue people called the ‘nasari‘ and they are fighting a race of primarily females called the taresian. The taresians are known for mating with other races in order to supplement their gene pool with new traits. Interesting, huh? That’s just a small percentage of the many things Mark and I found. I’m not even remotely mad at Mass Effect for that. I think it’s awesome that the Mass Effect team are (a)fans of the Star Trek series, and (b)capable of turning that inspiration into something amazing. Even if the asari is based on some Star Trek races, they are still neat. Hell, they’re better than the nasari and taresian combined! Besides, I can’t think of any great piece of work that didn’t borrow from another piece of work. TL;DR one cool project borrows from another cool project and everything becomes infinitely cooler!

I am on a drawing, gaming, and reading spree at the moment! As much as I would like to update on a daily basis and keep a better log of my life, I kind of buried myself in too many hobbies…and they are too fun to stop. LOL. I’m not complaining. I just have to find a way to squeeze other hobbies like writing and finishing random series in there. I’ll find a way.

The Borgs are finally showing up in Voyager, so I am getting into that immediately. o_o

Energize. *dematerializes* (….still gotta work on a good outro, I see…)

059: Finally We Are No One

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★彡 Yes! ( I still love you, Fi. You are so precious. ♥♥♥ )

☆彡 New blog name! *item get* It’s perfect. For I am, after all, the heroine of time. Fufufufu~ I had a bit of a scare when I changed my name though. After a very long loading time, I was lead to an empty dash and I thought everything was deleted. That was not a good feeling. But, of course, that is not the case now. All is well.

★彡 I found a tutorial for making Link’s shield, and now I would like to make Link’s everything–caps, tunics, armors, leggings, boots, shields, swords, accessories, instruments, and even his various transformations. Then, when I am done with that, I’d like to move on to everything Princess Zelda, disguises included. Why? …I don’t need a reason to make The Legend of Zelda stuff. No one does. It’s awesome to do, so you just do it, right? I may start small with things like jewels and accessories. Then, when I am confident with high-level crafting, I’ll start sewing costumes and making weapons/shields. I do have quite a long list of ambitions, but this one will be in my top ten. Definitely. As for actually cosplaying Link (which Mark has been encouraging me to do every time a convention is mentioned), I would not mind. I am in love with the idea of wearing his Zora armor, and I have been for far too long. It is so beautiful. Then there is the idea of being Dark Link…who I think every Zelda fan was both terrified and amazed with the first time they fought him in the water temple. It would be a really neat costume to have. And if I have to go to a convention in costume and unintentionally make myself a magnet to anyone who is a fan of my costume, let it be The Legend of Zelda related. That is something I can run my mouth about for hours to the surprise of, well, just about everyone who knows me well enough.

☆彡 And since I’m on a Zelda discussion spree, I would like to announce that the Hyrule Historia will soon be mine. Also, I am both impatient and masochistic because I’ve been watching videos of people flipping through the pages of the book for far too long. 😦

★彡 I am so ready to update my website layouts, but I don’t know where to start…and I am incredibly lazy, so that doesn’t help either. As much as I like Kingdom Hearts, I would like a layout that includes my own artwork. Drawing is not the issue. Finding a drawing that I don’t believe is utter crap is the issue. I’m just too much of an artistic perfectionist to ever do something like put my art on display and not find millions of things I regret later.

☆彡 Season two of Blackadder is probably my favorite so far. I have to admit, though, that the hardest I laughed during the entire series is when Edmund beheaded the king in season one. When he tried to reattach it, I lost my ability to breathe for a good while.

★彡 WHY AM I HAVING INSPIRATION FOR MYTHOS AND MY ANACHRONISM STORY AT THE SAME TIME. HULK SMASH. Seriously, I hate when this happens. I am literally working on both stories at the same time, switching from one document to the other as inspiration comes. I guess you have to be careful what you wish for. I wanted inspiration and I got it…twofold…so I should just be content with jumping between stories and drawings like a mad..madder…person.

☆彡 Beyonce’s Law of Relativity: “If you do not like Beyonce, you are irrelevant.”

★彡 Pet peeve #395: “We should catch up!” …On what? The lack of your significance in my life or the fact that you don’t have the right to know anything about me because you are basically a stranger? No. Just get out.

★彡 I finally finished The Shadow Broker, and I am on my way to play From Ashes. I’m pretty excited! I keep hearing that Javik is Jamaican though. What? LOL. I have to see/hear this.

☆彡 I’m starting to realize that Mark and I have a very boke-tsukkomi relationship. He is the forgetful one who does a lot of silly things (boke), and I am the bad-tempered one who violently corrects him (tsukkomi). It changes sometimes. For example, a few days ago I measured something wrong and didn’t realize it until it was too late. So, I tried to amend it…poorly…and Mark just bumped me on the head. LOL. I don’t think this will ever change. Even when we’re old, I’ll still jab him in the sides for doing something silly, and he will eventually return the favor.

★彡 I can’t believe that in some parts of the world there is such a thing as tea break. Tea breaks. Do you know how awesome that is? “Hey, stop working. It’s time to drink tea.” What? Are you kidding me? I most certainly will! *sigh* I am seriously in the wrong country.

Alright. It is gaming time~

056: A Stranger

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☆彡 With the recent Berserk manga updates and my finally being able to watch the movies, I’m pretty happy right now. *_*

★彡 “Breath of Life” came on during Return of the King, and the subtitles read, “[Angelic Vocalizing]”. I detect no lies in that statement.

☆彡 I believe the iron throne belongs to Daenerys, and no one can change my mind. I may change on my own, mind you, but others cannot change it.

★彡 After I wash my hair and blow dry it, I usually go from Vegeta to Temari or Vegeta to Shikamaru. Today, I’m Shikamaru until I have the energy to style it.  Mark believes my personality is almost identical to Shikamaru and he seems to like his hairstyle better, so I’ll stick to it for a while longer. For those who don’t speak Naruto, here you are: Temari to the left, and Shikamaru to the right.

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☆彡 Gamestop took our broken XBox 360 for $87 in-store credit. I was expecting like $10 credit for it. Good stuff. I got The Witcher 2 and Final Fantasy XIII-2. Mark got Crackdown 2, three Mass Effect DLCs, and one Mass Effect theme. We still have like $7 left, so we may put that towards a reservation or something. It all depends.

★彡 Speaking of games:

  • The Witcher 2: It is more challenging than the first. Fun, but challenging. Perhaps I am out of practice.
  • Final Fantasy XIII-2: Caius is pissing me off. I hate regen (unless I’m using it…then it’s awesome). *sigh* It doesn’t help that no one in my party learned Cura yet, so it’s time to go work on that. Then it’s on!
  • Lair of the Shadow Broker: It’s always good to see Liara again. We just left Azure Hotel. Yeah…I’m still shaking my head the level of fetishization the asaris get. I sometimes feel bad for them. It must be annoying to have these creepy men and women constantly letting you know that they want to have sex with you.

I plan to play more Lair of the Shadow Broker after this and then some The Witcher 2. I’m not looking forward to grinding in FFXIII-2 (lazy), but…I’ll work on it. *sigh*

☆彡 Distant Worlds is coming around again, and I have to save up at least $200 to get there. I’m not giving up. Regardless of how far I must travel, I am attending a video game symphony this year. That is my promise to myself!

★彡 Random (more like typical) Conversation:

  • Person: “Are you okay?”
  • Me: “Yes.”
  • P: “Are you sure?”
  • M: “Yes.”
  • P: “You don’t look okay.”
  • M: “I’m fine.”
  • P: “Alright.”
  • M: “…”
  • P: “You know, you can always talk to me if you have a problem.”
  • M: “Thank you. I will.”
  • P: “…”
  • M: “…”
  • P: “I know how it feels to want to be alone. Ten years ago, I got divorced–
  • M: “OH MY FUCKING GOD.”

☆彡 Rocky road ice cream will be the death of me. That and cream soda…red cream soda to be more specific. *sigh* Sweet death.

★彡 I don’t know what else to post, so I’m going to post this song “A Stranger” from A Perfect Circle. I’ve become incredibly addicted to it. A Perfect Circle has this strange way of perfectly verbalizing the things I cannot explain eloquently.

 

Cast the calming apple
Up and over satellites
To draw out the timid wild one,
To convince you it’s alright.
And I listen for the whisper
Of your sweet insanity ,
While I formulate

Denials of your affect on me.

You’re a stranger,
So what do I care?
You vanished today.
Not the first time, I hear,
Or the last.

What am I to do with all this silence?
Shy away, shy away, phantom.
Run away, terrified child.
Won’t you move away you, fucking tornado.
I’m better off without you
Tearing my world down.

Lovely~ I’m also in love with their website right now. Going to pretend I’m underwater and read their lyrics. *vanishes*

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 Time for an entry with shooting star ascii and shit! I am excitement-but-not-really!  Yay!

★彡 If you have no idea what is going on in that gif then you need to Mass Effect and Adventure Time moar. Or don’t. It’s cool.

★彡 Speaking of Mass Effect, I finally finished the entire series. Like many, I was not happy with the ending. I was not expecting it to end with butterflies and rainbows, but I was expecting an ending with more…effort. I don’t really know how else to put it. I just know I got the feeling of robbery that I got from watching The Matrix trilogy. It was just constant amazing-ness until the last ten minutes. Still, I sympathize with Bioware and EA as I sympathized with the Wachowski brothers. I cannot imagine what it is like to watch a humble project of yours turn into this…pop culture phenomena overnight. Suddenly, you have millions of people at your back telling you how to run your own story. It must be stressful. So, I am grateful for them adding things like supplements to better explain their reasoning for making the ending the way it is, and (hopefully) when I download that extended aftermath DLC, I will get a better understanding. Then again, it’s not so much understanding. I understand why it ended the way it did. I just don’t understand what compelled the writers to write such an ending. In other words, I want to come to the “this feels right” conclusion they must have felt when they chose to end the game that way. I…always want to understand the things that baffle or confuse me. That’s just the way I am. Nonetheless, I will never say the game was a waste of time based on a few minutes I didn’t agree with. The series is amazing. I only regret not starting it sooner, but better late than never. I can’t wait to try out some of the DLCs. In fact, when I get the time and funds, I’d like to download every single DLC, and play the game again. I cannot wait.

★彡 Moving is so frustrating, especially when it’s one of those on-a-whim types of moves. Well…no, not whim. We have to move for our own safety. I don’t need anyone to tell me twice about leaving this place. When your car gets stolen and your apartment gets broken into in a one year span, that is all the reminders you need. Then again, it’s more than just leaving. If I could just leave with no repercussions, I would have left the moment my car was taken; however, there is such a thing as a lease. Moreover, the fuckton of fees that come with moving into a new apartment. I have to pay $500-$600 first month’s rent for a one bedroom. Then pay $200 in administrative fees. Then pay $300 deposit for Link. Then pay $100-$600 for a security deposit based on credit. Then…wow…whatever other fees they want to fucking toss in there. I don’t have that kind of money just sitting around. If I just had $1,000 lying around then I wouldn’t even live on this side of town. I’d go to the next city over with the expensive but safe and pretty places to live. So…it’s complicated. It’s always complicated for us. Luckily, this incident occurred a week or so before our lease renewal date, so we dodged a bullet by not signing for another year. Regardless, this is still not something that was planned ahead. We planned to stay here until we could afford better. We weren’t expecting to move out within 30 days. So…yeah..what can I say? It’s just…life, you know? We have to adapt. No matter what happens in the next few days or weeks, we have to adapt. So, we pack. We go where we can, and we do our best. That’s our plan. 🙂

★彡 This is entirely odd for a self-proclaimed tomboy to say, but makeup isn’t so bad. It’s like painting or drawing…except on your face. LOL. Will I wear it everyday? Probably not. But it is still fun.

★彡 I miss the old days when being sprawled on the floor with paper, pencils, and art supplies everywhere was considered a norm. When I look back on my past, those moments were always the highlight. There is really nothing like it. Then again, it’s kind of silly to talk about those moments as if they’ll never happen again. The only thing stopping it is me. That’s something I need to realize: that regaining something from my past is not impossible. Memories are in the past, but not opportunities. One is never too old to restart or continue.

★彡 I finally got around to reading Kick-Ass 2. Wow…just wow. Mark Millar sure knows how write fucked up shit. Fucked up, but good though. I can’t wait until the third one. Or at least I hope there’s a third one. Please don’t end it that way! ;_;

★彡 I’ve been reading “Fluke”. It’s funny as hell. I will always be thankful for this book introducing me to the phrase: “heinous fuckery most foul.”

★彡 I think my TV might be dying. One day while Mark was playing Mass Effect 3, it flashed this red color, and then the colors became REALLY dim. We’ve been messing with the contrast and brightness to make it look decent, but now it has this annoying green tint all of the time. *sigh* One thing after the other. I swear. LOL

★彡 Things to catch up on: The Walking Dead – Season 2, Sherlock Holmes – Season 2, You Only Live Twice, Thunderball, Diamonds are Forever, Game of Thrones – Season 2, Supernatural – Season 8, Stephen Colbert, Parks & Recreation, and…a few others. I can’t recall them all. I just know I’m going to have a busy next few days. >_>

★彡 I’ve been working on a story lately, but I don’t know how it will affect NaNoWriMo. I’m thinking that with all the stuff going on and the general busyness of November, I probably shouldn’t participate at all. I already know that I will have a limited amount of time next month to even breathe. *sigh* That’s fine. It is probably better, creatively, to work freely than to have this 30 day time limit on my back.

★彡 Favorite quote right now – Aziz Ansari: “Better town hall questions: do you fucks with srichacha?”

★彡 Speaking of the town hall debate, these past three debates have been rather interesting. I am really looking forward to the last one. One thing I will definitely do during that debate is read Aisha Tyler and Aziz Ansari’s tweets. They are funny as hell.

★彡 I don’t know what else to say, so I’m going to post Adele’s “Skyfall”. I’ve had it on loop for a while now. It is definitely a worthy Bond theme. Then again, I’m not surprised. It is Adele. No one was expecting her to sing it terribly.

At least I hope not. e_e

Good night. May add more tomorrow.

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I wish I was Commander Shepard.

This has been my reaction to everything today, so that’s all I really have to contribute. *shrug*

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★彡 Mark finished Deus Ex: Human Revolution yesterday, and I finished Mass Effect yesterday. So, it’s safe to say that yesterday was a good day for gaming. First, let’s discuss Deus Ex. Spoilers ahead:

  • DXHR: So, of the four endings, Mark went with the one where Jensen destroyed everything in that building, including himself, and allowed mankind to control their own destiny. I agreed with many points of that ending, but I really believed that the mass deserved to know what happened in that building. I think about augmentations the same way I think about cigarettes: if you want to use them, you need to know the pros and the cons, the benefits and the dangers. No one should be forced to be ignorant of their own surroundings because one person thinks they know what is best for billions of people. We are human beings. We are very intelligent beings who are more than capable of making choices that are best for us. The only difference between people who think a lot and people who don’t think at all are priorities. That is it. Anyone who puts priority in logic will be logical. So, in short, I have faith in mankind to make decisions that will protect our race, but first we need to know everything. All the options and information has to be on the table. So, as much as I disagree with whatever his name was for hacking augmented individuals into killing each other to prove the dangers of augmentations, I agree with his point…and I probably would have done something far less evil to drive that point. Maybe I would make everyone with that biochip do the Hokey-Pokey just to prove how easy it is for someone to take complete control of their body, and make them understand that risk. If it scares people into abandoning augments then so be it. Knowing the truth about cigarettes made a lot of people abandon it, but that is not a misfortune to humanity…just the people selling cigarettes. And the safety of the mass is always more important than the wallet of a few individuals. But that’s just me. *shrug* Without a doubt, though, one of the most profound endings I’ve seen in a video game. I love that they used photos and clips from our world to explain how we relate to Jensen’s world. Pretty neat!
  • Mass Effect: In b4 “YOU’RE JUST BEATING MASS EFFECT?”. As I told Tiffa, I am the Slowpoke of gaming. LOL. Anyway, yes. I finally beat it. I didn’t have to do much though. I convinced Saren to commit suicide, so that took care of that…temporarily. He later turned into a geth stalker-type monster which was a pain in the ass to tackle. Nonetheless, it was definitely a powerful ending to a wonderful game. Beautiful! I cannot wait to see how my choices affect me in Mass Effect 2…and then Mass Effect 3…and the DLCs of course. I’m really looking forward to meeting that Prothean party member. I am curious to hear about the horrors he witnessed as someone who was there during the Prothean genocide, and knows first hand how the reapers operate. I am definitely worried about the types of terrible things that will happen once the reapers actually start invading in ME3. I’m really excited! I don’t want to go back to work tomorrow. I want to play games until I pass out again. TT___TT

…Well, the plus side is that this is going to be a short week. So, the weekend will be here in no time. I doubt I can beat Mass Effect 2 in one weekend, but maybe I can wrap up Final Fantasy XIII or even Skyward Sword. I’m very close to the end with those. We’ll see…

★彡 Since I’m on the topic of games…The Witcher is making me feel like a creepy womanizer. I have this thing about collecting everything in an RPG collection, so when The Witcher offered the feature to collect cards of different women in the game, my first reaction was: “Sure. I’ll collect them all.” But I immediately realized that (a)all of the women are nude and typically posing in a sexual manner, and (b)the only way to get these cards is to make Geralt have sex with the women on the cards. So, I often find myself planning methods of getting women to sleep with Geralt just to get cards…thus the feeling of creepy womanizing-ness, but…an incomplete collection…I can’t allow that…*weeps like Professor Farnsworth*

★彡 As of late, I’ve only been in the mood for tea with honey, miso soup, canned salmon, and steamed rice. And tomatoes. Lots of tomatoes. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I guess I could have worst food cravings. So, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Just an unusual thing.

★彡 Link’s favorite past time: finding an inconspicuous corner to hide in and stare at us. When we catch him staring, he will squint his eyes for about ten seconds. From what I’ve been told, this is a cat’s way of saying: “We’re on good terms”. So. I guess he’s telling us that he’s not staring at us because he wants to kill us. I can be grateful for that.

★彡 I had fun playing Pictionary with my sister and her husband-to-be this weekend. I was laughing so much. My favorite part was when Jon (her fiance) drew this pizza guy for the ‘Pizza Delivery’ prompt, and he gave him the most depressing expression. LOL! I was also laughing at Mark for trying to draw ‘mudslide’ by drawing Muk (yes, the Pokemon), and a slide. The thing is that Muk looked like Boo Berry, so I pretty much had a ‘WTF’ expression the entire time he was drawing. He knows that I’m going to rip on him every time we see the Boo Berry cereal in the cereal aisle XD. Either way, Pictionary inspired me to start drawing again–on a daily basis anyway. I probably draw like…7-10 pictures a month now, and most of them end up in the trash. Yeah, it’s pretty sad.

★彡 I’m making a Crystarium-based reward system for my weight loss progress. Basically, I progress one node for each day that I eat healthy. I get another node for every hour of exercise that I do. For each pound I lose, I also get a node. So, plenty of opportunities to progress ^_^! There are 7 levels and 30 nodes on each level. For every level I pass, I get a prize. I haven’t come to a final decision on my prize list, but I have a rough-draft list below:

  1. Book or Manga ($10 value)
  2. Artbook ($25 value)
  3. Drawing and Writing Supplies ($35 value)
  4. Anime Boxset ($50 value)
  5. Video games ($75 value)
  6. Shopping Spree ($150 value)
  7. New console or tablet computer ($300 value)

That’s all I really have for now. I’ll come up with specific items later…if I even do that at all. I have a crystarium drawn, so I just have to scan it and print seven for each level. *crosses fingers* I hope that I do well.

★彡 It looks like the rumors of Valve getting into the video game hardware market is true. I am more than intrigued. I am very excited! There isn’t a Valve game that I’ve played and did not like. They are always breaking barriers with their products. They did say that they were frustrated by the lack of innovation in the market, so I’d like to see what they have in mind. >_>

★彡 I get really annoyed with anyone who wants me to make a decision for them. It’s one thing to ask: “What is your opinion?” but it is another thing to badger me with questions like: “What would you pick?” and “Can you choose one for me?” One of the greatest luxuries you can have in this life is a choice. Even if it is just choosing between ketchup and mustard, it is a choice that some people will never have the opportunity to make. Therefore, you should not jump at every chance to hand it over to someone else as if it is a burden. It is your life, your money, and your freedom. Make the best of it. And if you want to throw a tantrum because you want a complete stranger to spend $300 for you and she doesn’t want to…then you just need to take a nap or something. I don’t know what else to say. You’re useless, and someone needs to stop paying you.

★彡 There are three things I never want to talk about in a conversation (a blog is another thing altogether XD): my love life, my anatomy, and my beliefs–spiritual or otherwise. To me, those topics are fertile ground for troublesome things like argument and gossip. Furthermore, I’m typically untrustworthy of anyone who is nosy about my relationship, what I do with my body, and what I believe in. I just don’t believe it is ever necessary to discuss private things like that over lunch or to pass the time. There are billions of other things to talk about, you know? Furthermore, while I do not believe it is wrong for people to want to reveal those things to others, I’d rather not hear about it. I know from experience that people have a habit of getting offended if I am not as excited and happy about those topics as they are, and will immediately write my indifference off as silent disgust or disapproval. Not even close. I just do not want to talk about those things. I do not want to talk to people who always want to talk about those things. I definitely do not want to talk to people who get upset or jump to assumptions about me because of my right to choose what I am comfortable with. So. Yeah. I don’t know what else to say. If you want to stick your nose in other people’s romantic life, diet habits, and spiritual beliefs then open a sleazy tabloid magazine.

★彡 I hate clutter, and this apartment happens to have A LOT of clutter. The issue is that Mark and I like to collect things. No, not hoarding. Collecting. Big difference. LOL. We only keep things that have a relation to a theme we are obsessed with. Mark is toys, books, and movies. I am books, anime, and mangas. Which is fine. But we made a big mistake by thinking: “We don’t need a big apartment. That’s too excessive. We can live fine in a small one.” Yes, we are just two people and should have no issue with a small space…but we’re two geek people, and every geek will learn at some point in her/his life that their love for their hobbies sometimes transcends their income, space, and many other reality-based limitations. In our case, we understand that our funds are limited, but we don’t understand that space is limited also…until now. And adding a cat to that equation is no help at all. Link has this thing where he claims a section of the house for a few days, and NOTHING is allowed there until he is done claiming it. I’ve watched him try to push the vacuum cleaner out a corner he claimed, and failed miserably. But, damn, did he try. LOL! Without a doubt, we need a storage room ASAP.  October is our deadline. If we don’t have a storage room by October, I am tossing everything outside. For serious. -_-

★彡 The hardest part about learning the piano is putting more faith in my subconscious and less faith in my conscious. It is difficult for me to believe that my hands will figure out the keys before my mind can. Or, better yet, I believe it can. I just don’t want it to. I want to make my mind control everything my hand does but it’s not going to happen. Not when I’m trying to memorize notes and how the melody should sound at the same time. Piano playing…it is much like drawing to me. You cannot afford to think about all the lines and curves when you draw. You just have the image in your head, and you trust your hand to do what your mind is thinking. I just have to trust my hands to follow what my mind is thinking. That’s the best way to handle it. Still, it hard. My goal in life is to play at least one song from Masashi Hamauzu’s “Vielen Dank” album, preferrably “Die Wahrheit” or “Kaki”…but I’m never going to get there if I can’t even master ‘Jingle Bells’. LOL

By the war, I am entirely obsessed with “Die Wahrheit”, so I’ll post it:

Okay. I don’t know what else to add. I guess that’s it. I’m just going to wrap up this mini-vacation with cleaning, hair washing, and tackling more games from my pile of shame. That’s about it. I hope everyone had fun this weekend. Enjoy the short week, and the upcoming weekend! ^_^

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☆彡 I finally spoke to an admissions representative from Full Sail University about the steps I should take within the next few months. *sigh* I don’t know how I feel. I guess the closest emotion I can relate to is relief. When I think about working in such a creative industry and someday brushing shoulders with fellow geeks/nerds, I think to myself: “Finally.” Long overdue!

☆彡Speaking of things that are long overdue, Mark and I finally got to hang out with Tiffa this week. I had a blast! And, as always, I laughed plenty. I really can’t wait until we can hang out again. Man…I should find a way to get Tiffa, Daniel, Brandon, Mark, and myself to all hang out together. Considering the headache I got from laughing too much with Tiffa and the headache I got from laughing to much with Daniel and Brandon, I think my head would explode from the combination of headaches. LOL

☆彡 I have always been fascinated by people like the Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama), Jesus Christ, Martin Luther King Jr., Mohandas Gandhi, and the Dalai Lama who responded to aggression with passiveness. They have been spat on, insulted, disrespected, pushed, punched, kicked, whipped, had rocks thrown at them, exiled, threatened, and some were assassinated by the very people they swore to love tirelessly. Some may hear about that and pity them, but I don’t. They should not be pitied. They should be admired for possessing a strength that is rarely acquired in this world. It is a common misconception that losing your temper takes strength, but anger is easy. Harming others is easy. It is so easy that animals can do it. Babies can do it. The intellectually challenged can do it. But to overcome anger, and even turn negative energy towards a positive goal…it is beyond admirable. It is respectable and beautiful at the same time. I have no intention of striving for the social standard of strength. Those standards were made by average people with average intelligence and average self-control. Even calling people like that  ‘average’ is being too generous. It really does take a lowly person to prey on others, and feel empowered by inflicting misery. I don’t strive to be a lowly or average. So, I don’t follow the ideals of those types of people. I want to be strong. I want to be peaceful. I want to constantly improve myself and improve the world around me, even if it gets me hated, laughed at, abused, or whatnot.

☆彡 I didn’t get any gaming done this weekend. I guess I just wasn’t in the mood. All that I wanted to do was sleep. Even then, I didn’t get much sleep because of Link. He’s so demanding! I feed him and play with him before I go to bed. Four hours later, he’s poking me in the face for more food and games. So I feed him and play. I go back to sleep. Then he decides to play: “Let’s trot across Kerri’s ribcage while she’s sleeping because it’s funny to watch her writhe in pain.” LOL. At the end of the day, he is a cat…and Mark and I are just his means of survival and entertainment. We are servants to his cuteness! Cats really are evil. Anyway, no gaming.

☆彡 Speaking of games, I ended up sacrificing Ashley instead of Kaiden. I like Ashley FAR more than Kaiden, but it was better to keep Kaiden in the end. One, I don’t need two tanks (I am a tank and so is Ashley). Two, Kaiden dying on Virmire is so…anticlimactic. When Ashley dies, she restores the honor that her family lost by being associated with the first human to surrender to the aliens. She dies with the comfort that her father and God are waiting for her in the end. Her death just seemed more right for the storyline. Kaiden, though, is still suffering from the torment he faced as a child. He is just learning to overcome it. To have him die on a Virmire as just “that guy with the biotics” seems a bit sad to me. I guess if  anyone in my party could become a Spectre in Mass Effect 3, I want it to be Kaiden. Then again, Ashley would restore honor to her family by becoming a Spectre too, but…man…this was not easy! It still isn’t! I am having choose-a-character-to-kill remorse. It is a tough call to make. *sigh* Well, it’s not the end of the world. The next time I replay (and I will replay), I am going to save Ashley. So, for now, I just have continue with this plot of mine and see if it was for the best. By the way, I am not having my Shepherd pursue a relationship with Kaiden. I guess my theme should give away who I’d like my Shepherd to pursue. Fufufu~ I adore Liara as a character, so I am not against them getting together. Sure, I would never get with an asari if I were in Mass Effect world, but I am not Shepherd. I control her and her choices, but I already have this mental picture of the type of person I want her to be…and she is not like me. Maybe I’ll make a Mary-sue Shepherd next time. LOL

☆彡 I am still working hard on Mythos, domain modifications, and my artwork. I am also starting a new RPG Maker project to practice for the Game Design program I want to attend. I’d like to focus on one project during the entire duration of courses. So, when I work on character development it will be characters from this project. When I work on storyline development it will be the storyline from this project. I’m sure you get my drift. Anyway…I have no idea where to begin. I’ve been so focused on Mythos for years that I kind of lost interest in making any other story.

☆彡 I’m ready to get my own house. -_-

☆彡 I received this really, really, really nice journal: 400 pages, acid-free paper, beautiful cover, and it’s just…it’s really pretty. I’m too afraid to write in it. LOL. Actually, I’ve been working on a list of things that I can use the journal for just so I can finally use the journal. It’s really silly. I should just write some random sentence in it to break the ice…but that would ruin it…and if I ruin a page then I have to rip it out…and if I rip it out then it falls apart. IT NEVER ENDS.

Later. ♥

Alexandria Shepherd

Isn’t she adorable? ♥♥♥

She’s such a hardass that she doesn’t realize how adorable she is though. XD

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