093: The Beast Is Back

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If we don’t greet each other like this then what’s the point.

I’m going to start using ‘Read More’ cuts on these entries because they can get pretty long at times. Like now.

(more…)

Art Dump #003

I managed to get my scanner working! It took a lot of headaches with uninstalling and reinstalling drivers, but at last my scanner isn’t a cat bed anymore. Anyhoo, I bring drawings… but not many. I have been feeling more inspired this week since I’m getting back into writing, so maybe I’ll bring better things next time. Well, I’m just going to go ahead and add my pointless commentaries.

**Sidenote: All of these images are automatically hyperlinked by WP to open to its full size (most of these are about 2000×3000 I believe). Thanks WP! :U

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Just Elda being a dick. LOL

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This one took more time than usual. I am making greater efforts to put details into drawings instead of just slapping on some flat, boring clothes and moving along. It’s tough though. But tough is good. Tough is a challenge, and the more challenges I meet the better I will become. I know I’ll never reach, like, Leonardo Da Vinci levels, but knowing that I gravitate more towards character designs I do want to become as good as that as I can get. Yadda, yadda, here is Elda posing with one of her staffs. I’m working on making her staffs operate like Sun Wukong’s Ruyi Jingu Bang (sp?) where it can extend, shrink, and do all types of nifty things. I’ll probably draw that out tonight.

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I’m doing another NieR replay, and I came across that scene where Weiss makes fun of Kaine for always wearing lingerie in public, and then suggests that the lingerie she plans to wear to the King of Facade and Fyra’s wedding should have “spring colors”. So, I tried to put everyone in the type of wedding attire they would wear (LOL). I’m kind of snickering at Emil because I tend to go over the top when it comes to his fascination with adorable, girly things. Then there is Nier’s inability to ever wear a shirt and Weiss wearing a tie. Yeah… it looks about right to me. 😄

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Another challenge: new poses. It took time drawing young Odin in a seated position, but it turned out decent compared to the rough sketch I did in the beginning. Eh… it’ll just have to do. *shrug*

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Yes, the ink is extremely light, but it is not the scanner’s fault. Whenever I do rough and quick sketches it seems like my pencil barely touches the paper, so… magnifying this one will help probably. All of that aside, I am still working out the process of Odin’s transmogrification into a dragon. I am set on him being consumed by fire, but how that turns into him being a dragon is still a working process. I’m also working on Elda’s process of becoming a dragon rider/dragoon. For now it’s just going to be like riding a horse because I’m entirely stumped. D:

 

I wish I was able to draw things like buildings and landscapes because I have so many ideas that I want to sketch out. Maybe I should just do it regardless of how shitty I think it will look, you know? I really have to get over this idea that every drawing needs to be done quickly. If I got over that then I could keep returning to the same drawing over and over until it looked infinitely better than the type of things I draw in a 20-40 minute span.

*sigh* Okay then. I’m going to tackle writing and drawing some more. Next time I might post an excerpt from the story if I feel confident enough with my progress to do that. I should also consider uploading some of these drawings to my website and deviant art whenever I find the motivation to. Blah…

Alright. That’s it for today. >_<

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083: Christmas in the Silent Forest

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( Dinnertime at my house. )

☆彡 I cannot stop writing. Mythos has completely screwed up my sleeping schedule…whenever I actually get sleep…but I honestly don’t mind. It feels fantastic to be obsessed with a project again, especially a project that I’ve been working on since middle school. You would think I would just stop by now but nope. I love my characters too much. I love Telluria too much. The plot can change all it wants, but I’m not letting those two things go. Blah blah blah, I’m making good progress.

★彡Finally, I am playing Enslaved: Odyssey to the West, and it is a gem. It’s funny. I was picking the game up at Gamestop (It’s $7-8! Buy it! Play it! Listen to the soundtrack, mainly for “Cloud Surfing”!) and the guy at the counter immediately shouted: “THIS GAME IS AWESOME. IT IS SO UNDERRATED. I LOVE THIS GAME.” I feel you, Gamestop guy.

☆彡 Link found some new hobbies that include knocking the trash bin over in the middle of the night, chewing on my books, and gnawing his way into every food packet we hide from him. It’s like living with a 10-lb rat. Joy…

★彡 My favorite part of L.A. Noire is interrogating the fuck out of people. Don’t lie to me, nerd. I’m a video game protagonist. I always win. And if I lose I can restart and make myself win.

☆彡 Don’t talk to me about the season finale of Sons of Anarchy.

★彡 This has been a month of nonstop eargasm. Beyonce, the Drag-on Dragoon 3 soundtrack, and the Lightning Returns soundtrack. *somersaults into the sun*

☆彡 Mark got an early Christmas present: an all-black Nintendo 3DS XL and Fire Emblem: Awakening. He’s pretty much attached to it…which is the only reasonable reaction to have to a new game console tbh. LOL. I’m waiting for him to get Animal Crossing though. We are going to pretty much wage war on each other’s towns.  First, I spam his town bulletin with Spice Girls lyrics. >:D

★彡 Dude, I was watching Nutcracker (1986) and Drosselmeyer reminded me of Papa!Nier. A very creepy version of Nier, yes, but still.

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Edit: found a better picture of Nutcracker Nier.

Edit: Found a better picture of Nutcracker Nier.

☆彡 You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat those who serve them. Actually, put someone in a room with a person or animal who cannot defend himself/herself (whatever the cause of the limitation), and you will learn all you need to know about that person’s character.

★彡 I really, really, really want to replay Final Fantasy VIII, but I don’t feel like going through totes for my Playstation 2 and setting up the PS2 wires by tugging away the 360 and Wii wires that are already connected. First world problems. I know. I recently remembered that Steam existed, so I’m probably going to go through Steam and just play it online. Why not? I’d pay $10 bucks to play FFVIII whilst avoiding the wiring bullshit.

☆彡 I love buying someone an awesome gift and getting excited over their excitement. Aside from the decorations, that’s the only reason I give a shit about the holidays.

★彡 Princess AJ Lee said that she hit Brie Bella so hard that Brie forgot math. I am crying.

☆彡 “You must unlearn what you have been ‘programmed’ to believe from birth. That software no longer serves you if you want to live in a world where all things are possible.” — Jacqueline E. Purcell (IMPORTANT!!!)

★彡 South Park‘s parody of A Game of Thrones is hilarious. I lost my ability to breathe when the CEO of Sony gave Kenny Sailor Moon’s locket and he became an anime princess, J-pop theme song and all. Excuse me, I’m going to die of laughter again.

I’m gonna kick this winter vacation off right with some 80’s action flicks and writing marathons. Happy holidays, ya’ll. *_*

082: Não Chora Menina

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“Close my shark , human.”

★彡 I beat Dragon Age 2 a few days ago. I was a warrior the first time around, so I am going to replay as a mage. That should make the plot a lot more interesting. Not that replaying really matters. Anders is still going to ruin my life again…with his anger-induced possessions and love of cats and unshaven pony-tailed face. Ugh, fuck off, Anders.

☆彡 *slowly teaches Mark to stop asking my permission for everything* (LOL)

Seriously, nothing gives me joy like Mark buying things and going places without seeking my approval first. Yes, I understand that his heart is in the right place, but…he’s 28 years old. It’s kind of depressing for a 28 year old to have to get permission from a 26 year old to do shit, you know? I don’t even let 60 year olds tell me what to do better yet people younger than me. Then again, I am the type of person who hates being ordered around (unless I’m getting paid to or I have immense respect for the person giving orders), so I value independence and personal space a lot. I never want to be in a position where I am forced to strip someone of independence and space every human being deserves. Oh well. He will learn. He is learning. That’s good enough for now.

★彡 Glad to see that Rey Mysterio is back. Sadly, that’s pretty much all I care about in WWE right now.

☆彡 I don’t know why I wait until December to hang up lights. I’m just going to string them around my bedroom and leave them there all year. Also, I have yet to own a tree that wasn’t green, so I’m going to get a blue or white tree this year.

★彡 Man, the ASOIAF fans who haven’t read the books yet are in for several headfucks next season. The purple wedding alone is going to be *in Zack Ryder’s voice* siiiiiiiick (…wait….what am I doing? I hate Zack Ryder). Anyway, just a few more months, ASOIAF fandom. Almost there.

☆彡 My blowdryer decided to explode on me and then make a Silent Hill-esque siren noise afterwards. That wasn’t terrifying at all. Luckily, there was no fire. It was just loud and smoky. 

★彡 I plan to get A Link Between Worlds very soon. I haven’t gotten around to it because I have a pile of books on my desk, and I’ve been going through them at breakneck speed. Finally. I should be all caught up within the next week or so…book-wise anyway. My gaming pile is still pretty pathetic.

☆彡 The worst feeling in the world is when you catch yourself doing something despicable and suddenly you question everything about yourself. I am by no means a goody-two shoes. My need to constantly explore new things is to blame for most of that. But there are definitely some lines I never cross, particularly lines that involve hurting others. I can live with hurting myself but not others. The truth is that I am a completely different person when I am in the middle of a panic attack. While I am in that mode, self-preservation is my only priority. Everything and everyone else stops mattering. That doesn’t change the fact that selfish is selfish. I don’t believe for a second that this part of me is impossible change. I just…need to put myself in panic-inducing situations until I learn to have complete control of myself during them. Until then, I am a dumb loser during 50% of my life. Whomp-whomp.

★彡 The things I am hearing about the XBox One are…tragic. The XBox 360 has been so pleasant for me that I hoped that the XBox One would be a worthy upgrade of it. Meh. I guess it is high time I got back to Sony anyway. The last time I owned a Sony console was back in 2004 or so when my PS2 broke. I have nothing against Sony. XBox just had a better selection of games these past few years, and games that were once Sony exclusives became multiplatform. This time around there are important-ass exclusives like Drakengard 3, Final Fantasy XV, and Kingdom Hearts 3 that I have to look out for. Also, there are some old Sony exclusive titles like Chrono Cross and a few Final Fantasy titles that I would love to download. So, a Playstation 4 is a definite for me. It’s just a matter of when I save up $400.

☆彡 The thing I hate most about my stories is that my characters have so much potential, yet they always end up the same one-dimensional carbon copy of the last character. I don’t spend enough time really fleshing them out. It’s easy to say: “this one is laid-back” or “this one is energetic”, but actually putting details into a character like pet peeves, addictions, allergies, fruitless dreams, poignant memories–that takes real effort. Effort I seldom give. For now, I am going to stop working on plots and drawings, and start working on those little things. I also need to work on more characters outside the main characters. Supporting characters don’t get enough credit for the life they give to stories. They are just that: support. I need to remember this! Well, I’m not going to worry too much about NaNoWriMo at this point. It is damn near impossible to meet the word count goal so late in the game, and my head isn’t really into it this year. I just want to crack open my Mythos binder and contribute more to it than fancy costumes. LOL

★彡 It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia gives me life. I have never laughed so hard in my life.

☆彡 I am currently working on a way to modify my bo staff. I’m in the sketching and tossing crumpled paper across the room phase right now. Not fun…but turning my bo staff into a Final Fantasy like weapon is going to be sweeeet. I thought about turning it into a lance, but as often as that thing topples over I don’t think it’s a good idea to add a blade to the end of it. LOL. I’m just going to stick with a basic staff. Right now I am set on something between Yuna’s starting staff and her Nirvana staff. I want to name my staff “Phantasmagoria”…because it’s my favorite word. Yes, I know I’m a colossal loser. Leave me alone. 😐

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★彡 I’m glad that Nier is finally getting the respect it deserves. Thanks Game Informer for pointing out what a masterpiece it is.

Also, fuck what the Nier haters said.

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Happy Thanksgiving everyone, and please be careful if you participate in Black Friday.

065: The Starlight’s Flower

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★彡 GEEEENNOOOO !  Geno gives me life (and Vivi too…BUT GENO THO)! I adore him so much, and I am so heated with Nintendo right now because they did not put him in Super Smash Brothers Brawl and I do not appreciate that shit one bit. Speaking of Super Mario RPG, I was working on another replay last week when I ran into that boss battle with Valentina. In all my years playing this game, last week was the first time I noticed that attacking her makes her chest jiggle. Trust Square to slip inappropriate things in a children’s game and hope that no one notices. 😄

☆彡 Added some new pages whilst possibly abusing my privilege to add new pages. Fufufu~ Anyway, if a page suddenly becomes password protected it is because I am working on it. The draft section definitely needs a lot of work, but hopefully it will be done soon.

★彡 One does not simply listen to “L.E.S” by Childish Gambino once.

☆彡 I finally bought a new scanner! *dansu* I am going to do mostly lineart from now on. I’ll color it later when I (a)have a working tablet and (b)study up on digital coloring. This is an opportunity in disguise, really. I do need the practice, and lots of it!

★彡 Link’s favorite thing to do now: follow Mark and me into the bathroom, and attack us when we try to remove him. One we decide to leave him alone, he just sits there and watches us while we use the toilet…thus living up to his new title of hentai cat.

☆彡 Jamieson Price is the voice of Duke in Tales of Vesperia, and I almost forgot how amazing his voice was until he spoke. He could read me the dictionary. That would not bother me at all.

★彡 If all goes correctly, Mark and I will return to Joelanta this weekend. I really can’t wait to go! Last year, I passed up on some really great toys and action figures because I was strapped for cash. This year…still strapped for cash (LOL), but it’s nowhere near as bad last year. Then again, this will probably be the time when my tires go flat or something. I really should stop jinxing myself. Okay, let’s start again. We are going to Joelanta again, we are going to get some cool things again, we are going to smile until our face hurts again, Mark is going to fanboy over Larry Hama again, and I’m just going to continue laughing at him about it again…as if I wouldn’t fangirl if I met someone who I admired. Yes, that sounds better.

☆彡 All of this reading seems counterproductive at first, but then I always remember what constant reading did for me in the past. I had a terrible speech impediment (still kind of do) and I struggled with basic writing as a kid until I started reading a lot. I’m talking like one book every two days. My librarians knew me on a first name basis. Let’s just put it that way! Anyway, I quickly realized that reading helped me more than tutoring sessions or intense scolding because it made learning fun. It was through books that I realized that learning can be fun, and not another method of torture for adults to inflict on children. So…there is no such thing as too much reading. With each book I complete, I see improvement in my writing, speech, and comprehension. I also pick up valuable lessons that make me wish I read half of these books ten years ago. *sigh* C’est la vie.

★彡 I am slowly but surely getting over the idea that realistic art = “good art”. What is “good art” anyway? Some of my favorite art pieces had no people, no buildings, and no landscapes. Yet, it was enough to fill me with happiness. Even character and fashion designs fill me with happiness. In the end, it is not about meeting a certain standard. Art is not a math test. There is not a wrong or right answer. That is something I have to accept. I also have to accept that art is not a movie. It is not there to entertain others. It does not matter who likes it or who dislikes it. What matters most is that I like it. Who in this entire world has the right to take my happiness away from me?  Perhaps I am still that girl stuck in art class, getting told by my art teacher that my style is “too commercial” and “difficult to relate to”. Meanwhile, my classmate does an artwork about 9/11, and receives a round of applause. Isn’t this just like every other field of art? Playing on popular emotions like love and hate get the round of applause, but eclectic things are often regarded as too “out there” for “normal” people. Why should my entire life revolve around what other people think and what other people feel and what other people want? I am ranting, I know. It is just one of those things that I bottled up for years. Looking back, I passed up on so many opportunities because I didn’t believe my art would wow a crowd, yet I never questioned why wowing a crowd is important in the first place. This isn’t about money for me. It isn’t about popularity either. I am just a woman who likes to draw, and that should be good enough. So, to hell with the “it’s not realistic enough” and “it’s not touching enough” bullshit. It’s a damn picture of a damn elf with some damn pretty clothes on, and you can just fucking deal with it. *AGGRESSIVELY OPENS SKETCHBOOK*

☆彡 I promise that I am not faded or drunk when I ask this, but am I the only one who looks at the things around me and feels overwhelmed by how amazing it is? For example, look at a shower. I am turning rain and off while adjusting its temperature. I cannot believe how awesome that is! Don’t even get me started on the internet. I don’t even know where to start. I bet if we brought someone from the 1800s to our century they would just fall on the floor and cry or something. Like…I don’t even know how I sit here sometimes, and tell myself that I am bored. How the fuck is this life even remotely boring? The fact that I can get in a big metal wagon and go to a place where thousands of inventors from all around the world display their things is…damn. My mind is being blown by shit I see on a daily basis. I don’t even know what I’m feeling right now.

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★彡 The saddest part about you believing that Star Trek is “for white people” is the fact that Star Trek opened more doors in the entertainment industry for black people than all of your favorite shows combined. Gene Roddenberry created Lt. Uhura — an African woman — during a time when the idea of both blacks and women in a leadership position was unheard of. Even more, when Nichelle Nichols (the actress who played Uhura) wanted to leave Star Trek it was Martin Luther King Jr. himself who begged her to stay because her role was important to blacks. I could continue to go down the list of doors Star Trek opened and point out the fact that its fanbase is very diverse, but I forgot that people like you are stuck in this white versus black mentality as opposed to the more sensible tolerant people versus intolerant people mentality. Exit my life, please.

☆彡 I want to give a shoutout to Otaku Cam for not only being really addictive, but also for being so awesome that Mark allowed me to take his picture just to use it…and now his face is on the background of my phone and I have been begging for this ever since I got my phone even though he called me treacherous for using it (LMAO). So, thanks Otaku Cam. Also, the Hentai Kamen frames are great.

★彡 I do have a long list of problems and imperfections, but they are my responsibility. I do not blame anyone for them. Even if someone came up to me right now and pushed me into the dirt, cleaning myself off is my responsibility. Dealing with the anger of being attacked is my responsibility. And while I would call the police to protect others from being pushed too, it is my responsibility to accept that sometimes my efforts to see justice done and to protect others is not enough. On this very day, at this very moment, I have two simple choices: progress or regress. And every solution I have to every problem I own falls into two categories: progression or regression. It is like this every second of my life until I am out of time. Planning is comforting, yes, but even I can admit that planning is no guarantee of my future. I just have to live in the moment, constantly choosing to go forward or stay behind. That is the type of black-and-white mentality I have towards my own life.

☆彡 If you like someone in Drakengard there is a 90% chance that (s)he is a sick fuck. If you like someone in Nier there is a 90% chance that (s)he will die. Yay! (Please remind me why I keep playing your games, Cavia?)

★彡 Note to self: Do not listen to “Gravelord Nito” when I am alone or in the dark. That shit is scary as fuck under those circumstances. Additional note, Nito is metal as fuck.

☆彡 *plans to watch a few episodes of The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl* *watches the entire show in one sitting* Whoops. Also, I really need to stop responding to everything I do with “bitches be _____” because it’s getting on Mark’s nerves and children might hear me if I say it in public. Bitches be forgetting.

★彡 Wow, if I ever win the lottery I am just going to disappear. The response I often get is: “Me too! I’m going to travel around the world!” Yes, but you plan to eventually come home and return to your identity. I am not doing that. I am paying off everything I owe, changing my name, and becoming an IRL Waldo. It is not a motherfucking game. Of course, I’ll let like five people know my new name and location, but after that I am pretty much a ghost. Bitches be vanishing. (Okay, I’m stopping!)

Alright. I’m going to get some stuff done, and attempt to put this scanner to use. I know that printer works! …Since I’ve been printing shit nonstop. 😐

EDIT:

I FORGOT TO POST THIS SONG IT’S AN ALTERNATE VERSION OF HISTORIA CRUX.

Still prefer the Origa version though.

053: Human Behavior

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Same.

☆彡 Christoph Waltz is an awesome actor. I also like his face. It’s really fascinating. I’m probably going to post more of it later.

★彡 By the way, I finally saw Django Unchained today. Holy smokes! I would do an ‘almost review’, but I’m feeling lazy. I didn’t even do one for The Hobbit, did I? Fuck. Anyway, Jamie Foxx was great. Kerry Washington is always great (Her face is likable too). Leonardo DiCaprio = great. That surprises no one. Samuel L. Jackson = obviously great too. I mentioned how great Christoph Waltz is. I didn’t mention that his character (Dr. King Schultz) motivated me to triple the size of my lexicon. That is worth telling for some reason. Anyay, wow. It’s just…go watch it.

☆彡 There is actually a proper term for the type of rock music I enjoy. It’s called “math rock”.

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It seriously is though. Now I know how to branch out to other “math rock” songs. :u

★彡 In most cases, compliments are wonderful things and should be given to more people more often–assuming it is genuine and not sycophantic or self-serving in any way. I reiterate: in most cases. One should be very careful about complimenting a narcissist. It is almost equivalent to feeding a Gremlin after midnight. It’s just…not the type of monster you want to feel remotely responsible for. A rule of thumb that was given to me is this: “Don’t give a compliment to someone who constantly compliments themselves”. (Notice that I underlined ‘constantly’. Do not assume that someone who says something nice about themselves from time to time is automatically a narcissist. That is called confidence. Constant self-flattery is narcissism.) That is already a symptom of an inflated ego. You don’t want to contribute to that tragedy. Instead, give compliments to people who need and/or deserve it. We already determined that a narcissist doesn’t need any compliments. Another type of person who doesn’t need compliments are people who are simply uninterested/unaffected by them. *raises hand* Compliment-immune individuals build their confidence on their accomplishments or failures, so nothing said to them (whether positive or negative) changes their opinions of themselves. In other words, you’ll run into conversations like this: “No, you’re not a horrible human for failing a test.” “Yes, I am. No one understands. Go away.” (If I’ve ever done that to you, I apologize. I’m not fishing for compliments or your pity. I just genuinely feel crappy about myself for not doing the things I thought I could do, and I need to overcome that hump in my own fashion: with doom, gloom, and food) Of course, don’t give untrue compliments. It is pointless and often harmful. Otherwise, please compliment people more. There is no point in keeping your positive opinions of others to yourself, right?

★彡 It’s so strange playing video games with my nephews. Just a few years ago I had to stop them from crawling near my games so they wouldn’t try to eat them. Now we’re playing them together. Time has a funny way of making me feel…old. LOL. I’m actually surprised. My eldest nephew (Jonny) and I cleared a lot of missions in Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 3. He got Heero from level 2 to level 14 for me. Awesome!

☆彡 I discovered the ‘majestic Thorin’ tag and ‘dwarf racist party dad’ tag on tumblr. My stomach was killing me from laughing so hard.

★彡 We finished It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia…and, once more, there is a gaping hole in my life where a TV series used to be. *sigh* I could always move on to finishing Voyager, but that show has the same issue that many TV shows have: taking a while to get interesting. I guess it takes time to know all of the characters and fully grasp the type of lives that they lead–a very long time.

☆彡I’ve been getting an unusual amount of encouragement to enter art contests lately. I usually decline taking part in anything that involves tirelessly competing with others for the pointless prize of praise and popularity, but I’ll make an effort for money. While I don’t care much for money myself, I am not ignorant to the fact that money is the ticket to everything. Even my dream of living like a true hermit will take money. I will have to basically buy my way out of this life after all. So…sure. I’ll enter some contests so long as there is a cash prize at the end. I’d also prefer to stay anonymous to other contestants. I don’t need coattail riders on the off chance that I win something.

★彡 I’m debating about playing NieR again. On one hand, there is the guarantee that I will enjoy myself. On the other hand, there is the guarantee of tears. It’s a very big gamble. However, it’s the only game I can imagine getting a 100% completion on. I never get tired of it. I especially miss Kainé and Weiss having their bickering sessions. Always hilarious.

☆彡 It’s sad how many individuals slip through the cracks of leadership requirements with college degrees they barely obtained, blind luck, and/or knowing someone who knows someone. I mean…when your employee turnover rate is ridiculous, and your long-term employees are entirely disgruntled then there is something wrong with your management skills. Of course, the first thing bad leaders do is blame those under them. “You’re not this enough!” “You’re not that enough!” Then, as a leader, teach him/her to be this enough or that enough. Abandon the childish mentality that everyone can be brought to the same point with the same methods and the same timing and actually make an effort to understand the individuals that you hired in the first place. The quickest way to dig yourself into a leadership ditch is to chase the impossible hope of perfection. It’s never going to happen. That is why leadership is so stressful. I mean…nagging about stress as a manager is like nagging about sweat as an athlete. What the hell are you expecting? Then, upon realizing how much respect you lose as a leader for nagging about stress, you start to nag about your hormones or problems in your personal life. Newsflash: no one cares. You’re not a leader because people give a shit about your personal problems. You’re a leader because you have the power to run things efficiently, and you are trusted to do just that. If you can’t do that then give that power to someone with competence. Furthermore, if you are easily angered by others then you are just not a people person…which a leader has to be. I mean, I’m not a people person. At all. But if I am ever forced to manage a group of people for some unfortunate reason, I know the first place to start is understanding each person I am in charge of. I would need to speak with them one-by-one and one-on-one, regardless of how long it takes, and make them feel like they can grow with me and the company we work for. Otherwise, I shouldn’t be at all surprised if they all suddenly want to quit or if they clock-in every day with this “someone please kill me” look on their faces. If I don’t make an effort to make someone content then I shouldn’t be surprised that they are discontent. It’s that simple. Or as you like to repeatedly say, “use logic.” By the way, I am beginning to think that you don’t even understand what logic means. Logic is not knowing something that someone didn’t even teach you. You’re telling someone to build something with tools they do not have.  That is illogical thinking. The hilarious thing is that you get upset when someone doesn’t know something, yet you don’t want to teach them because teaching makes you upset too. How the fuck are they ever going to do anything then? Riddle me that. This is why I have zero respect for you as a leader. You have no business leading. You should just be an assistant to someone who has business leading. Which, I guess, you technically are.

★彡 I am not too bothered by the fact that January feels like one big hump. The start of every year always feels like one big hump. You have to recover from Christmas spending, deal with new year related updates, prepare for tax season, and other crap like that. It happens. Change, to me, is a hill rather than a skip through a field of flowers or something. It’s always difficult and redundant before that pleasant ride on the momentum of hard work. It is actually February and March that will determine a lot for me. So…let’s just see how that goes.

It’s basically Monday again. *sigh* FML ’til Friday evening.

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050: Some Nights

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☆彡 I love Frodo’s “I don’t?” reaction. In other news, Elijah Wood never ages. I call sorcery.

★彡 50th entry! *tosses confetti all around* Actually, it’s not really my 50th entry. Thanks to all the unnumbered and private entries, I have around 70-80 entries altogether. Still, it’s a random blog-related landmark. I’ll probably post something special…which, on the internet, usually means I’ll finally post a drawing.

☆彡 As happy as I am to finally learn SQL, I was hoping to learn it at my own pace, and with less pressure. I guess we can’t always get what we want, can we?

★彡 I’ve been trying to download Skyrim since Monday. It is now Wednesday night, and Skyrim is at exactly 50%. I will be lucky if I can get it to 60% by midnight. *sigh* I’m not liking this at all. One, the 360 won’t allow me to play games or watch movies while the download is happening…which sucks. I haven’t played or watched much because of it. Two, I was hoping to spend the entire weekend under a blanket, playing Skyrim, and not sitting around for the game to download. WHY?!

☆彡 My biggest gripe with winter: dryness. My skin is always ashy, and my scalp is as dry as sand regardless of what I do. So, that means I am constantly putting on lotion, and constantly washing my hair. Pain in the ass. I know six months from now I’ll be begging for winter again, but I’m not pleased with it right now.

★彡 It doesn’t matter how bad my day is, “Temple of the Drifting Sands” will change that.

☆彡 Throwing a tantrum is not a sign of strength. If a newborn baby can exit the womb, and immediately scream out of anger/fear then what makes you think an adult who screams whenever (s)he is angry or afraid is strong? It takes nothing to act that way. To consider that type of behavior “courageous” is an insult to the term. True strength will always come from mastering yourself. When you learn to master your own weaknesses, and use that ability to help yourself and others through difficult challenges, then you have the right to call yourself strong or courageous. Otherwise, you can continue yelling at people every ten seconds because you have the emotional intelligence of a toddler. I need no lessons on emotions from you.

★彡 I want Versus XIII just as badly as the next FF fan, but it is annoying having to listen to the “Oh, you can make an update for (random Square Enix game) but not Versus” rant with each SE-related news. I haven’t given up or anything, but all three Mass Effect games came out during the time I was waiting for Versus. That says a lot. It’s time to just…leave it alone, and let SE handle it.

Also, can we take a moment to acknowledge that Lightning is fantabulous in this picture? Wow, she is pretty much replacing every FF heroine I like at this point. I don’t even know why. I just adore her. *____*

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☆彡 Dennou Coil has been in the top ten range of my “animes to watch” list for a very long time. Why haven’t I watched it yet? I’ve listened to the soundtrack…tirelessly…yet I haven’t watched the anime. Typical. -_-

★彡 When I don’t draw for a long time, drawing again becomes really unfamiliar to me. Eventually, I do pick up on old patterns again, but it is still a strange feeling. More disheartening than strange. I sometimes think if I go without drawing long enough, it is possible for me to forget completely.

☆彡 I have a neighbor who just has the WORST timing. When I’m on time, she is nowhere to be seen. When I’m running late, she will pop out of nowhere to start talking about random things. She’s nice, and I feel bad for always being in a rush when we speak, but come on. *sigh* I guess I should stop being antisocial, and maybe offer an opportunity where she can talk to me as much as she wants to. Wait…what am I saying? What’s happening to me? D:

★彡 With each passing day, I ponder the purpose in pursuing beauty. It looks less and less like something that is relative to me, and more and more like a obsolete step in the human mating ritual. Well, not universally obsolete. Of course not. But for someone who has no desire to mate and has already found a mate, beauty looks more like a hobby and less like a necessity. It’s…something I’ll do when I’m bored enough, or when money is so abundant that I can’t think of anything else to put it towards. Otherwise, no. Not really. Maybe in the future I’ll be more drawn to it.

☆彡 Eva Amurri looks like a clone of her mother (Susan Sarandon). It scares me sometimes when I see her in movies.

★彡 I miss having an entire week and a half off around this time of year. Now I only have one day off next week, and another one day off the week after. The upside is money. Money is nice. The downside is being at work…mostly doing nothing because all of our clients have like a week and a half off. Balderdash!

…I don’t know what else to add. I need to go wash my hair. -.-

 

EDIT:

Skyrim finished downloading~!

Yes~!

Of course, it finished right at my bed time, but yeah…it’s done…and I’ll have to enjoy it tomorrow. :’)

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☆彡 Zelda gifs! Fuck yes!

☆彡 I actually feel like setting people on fire today, but I’m trying to be as laid back as possible.  🙂

☆彡 Kaine will always be my spirit animal. I miss her. I miss Nier too…and Emil…I need my XBox 360 back! ;__;

☆彡 Mark and I watched The Cabin in the Woods. It was great. It just screamed Joss Whedon. Which is not a bad thing at all. I like Joss Whedon’s writing style. I can’t wait to see what he does with The Avengers. Actually, I can’t wait to see it with Mark, Tiffany, Daniel, The not-the-other Daniel Daniel (LOL), and Brandon/Peaches. Come on, May! Get here faster! >_<

☆彡 Speaking of writing, I’ve been writing a lot lately. I’ve been drawing a lot too…but it’s pretty much all Mythos. So, nothing exciting. I’m going to meticulously modify and perfect that project until the end of time.

☆彡 The actress who plays Eun-Chan in The Coffee Prince is amazing. One second she looks like an adorable boy, and the next second she looks an adorable girl. I still can’t believe she’s not a boy…yet I can believe that she’s a girl because she has very feminine features. Mind boggling! She really is perfect for the role. Either way, coming to the end of the series. This is around the time where you think “Aw, this couple is finally together and they’re so cute,” and then someone gets hit by a car or something and destroys your soul. Fuck these shows, man. 😦

☆彡 Watching all these Korean dramas makes me so hungry sometimes. They always have these kimchi and bibimbap dishes! I need to go to Assi tomorrow!  ;___;

☆彡 Dear Halo Haters,

Calling Halo ‘Galo/Gaylo’ never gets old. “

Sincerely,
If-You-Don’t-Like-The-Game-Just-Shut-The-Fuck-Up-And-Don’t-Play-It

☆彡Even though I’m clumsy as hell and I shouldn’t be near a hotpot ever again, I love hotpots. I regret nothing. *dramatic pose*

☆彡 …Puella Magi Madoka Magica is a messed up anime. It catches you off guard because (a)it’s a magical girl series…and you know how those tend to be, and (b)the art style is cutesy and colorful. I actually had a nightmare about what happened to Sayaka and Kyoko. It wasn’t scary, but it disturbed me so much that I must have been thinking too much about it. Anyway…yeah. That anime is like…Persona messed up. :/

☆彡 Speaking of things that disturb me, I’m going to reveal one of my random fears…tall pale guys with tall hats. Before you ask, the answer is yes. Abraham Lincoln terrifies me. I mean, I like the guy. He was an awesome president, but seeing his statues and reenactments creep me out. Not Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter though. He didn’t look that scary in the trailers.  I’m also scared of those fourth of July parades where they have Uncle Sam on stilts. Shit like that. I just don’t like lofty pale guys with tall hats on. I don’t know why. It’s the stupidest thing ever, but I am permanent terrified of it.

I don’t know what else to say. Going to start up the hotpot. Looks like a ramen and eggs night! *victory fanfare*

That’s it.

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