082: Não Chora Menina

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“Close my shark , human.”

★彡 I beat Dragon Age 2 a few days ago. I was a warrior the first time around, so I am going to replay as a mage. That should make the plot a lot more interesting. Not that replaying really matters. Anders is still going to ruin my life again…with his anger-induced possessions and love of cats and unshaven pony-tailed face. Ugh, fuck off, Anders.

☆彡 *slowly teaches Mark to stop asking my permission for everything* (LOL)

Seriously, nothing gives me joy like Mark buying things and going places without seeking my approval first. Yes, I understand that his heart is in the right place, but…he’s 28 years old. It’s kind of depressing for a 28 year old to have to get permission from a 26 year old to do shit, you know? I don’t even let 60 year olds tell me what to do better yet people younger than me. Then again, I am the type of person who hates being ordered around (unless I’m getting paid to or I have immense respect for the person giving orders), so I value independence and personal space a lot. I never want to be in a position where I am forced to strip someone of independence and space every human being deserves. Oh well. He will learn. He is learning. That’s good enough for now.

★彡 Glad to see that Rey Mysterio is back. Sadly, that’s pretty much all I care about in WWE right now.

☆彡 I don’t know why I wait until December to hang up lights. I’m just going to string them around my bedroom and leave them there all year. Also, I have yet to own a tree that wasn’t green, so I’m going to get a blue or white tree this year.

★彡 Man, the ASOIAF fans who haven’t read the books yet are in for several headfucks next season. The purple wedding alone is going to be *in Zack Ryder’s voice* siiiiiiiick (…wait….what am I doing? I hate Zack Ryder). Anyway, just a few more months, ASOIAF fandom. Almost there.

☆彡 My blowdryer decided to explode on me and then make a Silent Hill-esque siren noise afterwards. That wasn’t terrifying at all. Luckily, there was no fire. It was just loud and smoky. 

★彡 I plan to get A Link Between Worlds very soon. I haven’t gotten around to it because I have a pile of books on my desk, and I’ve been going through them at breakneck speed. Finally. I should be all caught up within the next week or so…book-wise anyway. My gaming pile is still pretty pathetic.

☆彡 The worst feeling in the world is when you catch yourself doing something despicable and suddenly you question everything about yourself. I am by no means a goody-two shoes. My need to constantly explore new things is to blame for most of that. But there are definitely some lines I never cross, particularly lines that involve hurting others. I can live with hurting myself but not others. The truth is that I am a completely different person when I am in the middle of a panic attack. While I am in that mode, self-preservation is my only priority. Everything and everyone else stops mattering. That doesn’t change the fact that selfish is selfish. I don’t believe for a second that this part of me is impossible change. I just…need to put myself in panic-inducing situations until I learn to have complete control of myself during them. Until then, I am a dumb loser during 50% of my life. Whomp-whomp.

★彡 The things I am hearing about the XBox One are…tragic. The XBox 360 has been so pleasant for me that I hoped that the XBox One would be a worthy upgrade of it. Meh. I guess it is high time I got back to Sony anyway. The last time I owned a Sony console was back in 2004 or so when my PS2 broke. I have nothing against Sony. XBox just had a better selection of games these past few years, and games that were once Sony exclusives became multiplatform. This time around there are important-ass exclusives like Drakengard 3, Final Fantasy XV, and Kingdom Hearts 3 that I have to look out for. Also, there are some old Sony exclusive titles like Chrono Cross and a few Final Fantasy titles that I would love to download. So, a Playstation 4 is a definite for me. It’s just a matter of when I save up $400.

☆彡 The thing I hate most about my stories is that my characters have so much potential, yet they always end up the same one-dimensional carbon copy of the last character. I don’t spend enough time really fleshing them out. It’s easy to say: “this one is laid-back” or “this one is energetic”, but actually putting details into a character like pet peeves, addictions, allergies, fruitless dreams, poignant memories–that takes real effort. Effort I seldom give. For now, I am going to stop working on plots and drawings, and start working on those little things. I also need to work on more characters outside the main characters. Supporting characters don’t get enough credit for the life they give to stories. They are just that: support. I need to remember this! Well, I’m not going to worry too much about NaNoWriMo at this point. It is damn near impossible to meet the word count goal so late in the game, and my head isn’t really into it this year. I just want to crack open my Mythos binder and contribute more to it than fancy costumes. LOL

★彡 It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia gives me life. I have never laughed so hard in my life.

☆彡 I am currently working on a way to modify my bo staff. I’m in the sketching and tossing crumpled paper across the room phase right now. Not fun…but turning my bo staff into a Final Fantasy like weapon is going to be sweeeet. I thought about turning it into a lance, but as often as that thing topples over I don’t think it’s a good idea to add a blade to the end of it. LOL. I’m just going to stick with a basic staff. Right now I am set on something between Yuna’s starting staff and her Nirvana staff. I want to name my staff “Phantasmagoria”…because it’s my favorite word. Yes, I know I’m a colossal loser. Leave me alone. 😐

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★彡 I’m glad that Nier is finally getting the respect it deserves. Thanks Game Informer for pointing out what a masterpiece it is.

Also, fuck what the Nier haters said.

bending

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, and please be careful if you participate in Black Friday.

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059: Finally We Are No One

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★彡 Yes! ( I still love you, Fi. You are so precious. ♥♥♥ )

☆彡 New blog name! *item get* It’s perfect. For I am, after all, the heroine of time. Fufufufu~ I had a bit of a scare when I changed my name though. After a very long loading time, I was lead to an empty dash and I thought everything was deleted. That was not a good feeling. But, of course, that is not the case now. All is well.

★彡 I found a tutorial for making Link’s shield, and now I would like to make Link’s everything–caps, tunics, armors, leggings, boots, shields, swords, accessories, instruments, and even his various transformations. Then, when I am done with that, I’d like to move on to everything Princess Zelda, disguises included. Why? …I don’t need a reason to make The Legend of Zelda stuff. No one does. It’s awesome to do, so you just do it, right? I may start small with things like jewels and accessories. Then, when I am confident with high-level crafting, I’ll start sewing costumes and making weapons/shields. I do have quite a long list of ambitions, but this one will be in my top ten. Definitely. As for actually cosplaying Link (which Mark has been encouraging me to do every time a convention is mentioned), I would not mind. I am in love with the idea of wearing his Zora armor, and I have been for far too long. It is so beautiful. Then there is the idea of being Dark Link…who I think every Zelda fan was both terrified and amazed with the first time they fought him in the water temple. It would be a really neat costume to have. And if I have to go to a convention in costume and unintentionally make myself a magnet to anyone who is a fan of my costume, let it be The Legend of Zelda related. That is something I can run my mouth about for hours to the surprise of, well, just about everyone who knows me well enough.

☆彡 And since I’m on a Zelda discussion spree, I would like to announce that the Hyrule Historia will soon be mine. Also, I am both impatient and masochistic because I’ve been watching videos of people flipping through the pages of the book for far too long. 😦

★彡 I am so ready to update my website layouts, but I don’t know where to start…and I am incredibly lazy, so that doesn’t help either. As much as I like Kingdom Hearts, I would like a layout that includes my own artwork. Drawing is not the issue. Finding a drawing that I don’t believe is utter crap is the issue. I’m just too much of an artistic perfectionist to ever do something like put my art on display and not find millions of things I regret later.

☆彡 Season two of Blackadder is probably my favorite so far. I have to admit, though, that the hardest I laughed during the entire series is when Edmund beheaded the king in season one. When he tried to reattach it, I lost my ability to breathe for a good while.

★彡 WHY AM I HAVING INSPIRATION FOR MYTHOS AND MY ANACHRONISM STORY AT THE SAME TIME. HULK SMASH. Seriously, I hate when this happens. I am literally working on both stories at the same time, switching from one document to the other as inspiration comes. I guess you have to be careful what you wish for. I wanted inspiration and I got it…twofold…so I should just be content with jumping between stories and drawings like a mad..madder…person.

☆彡 Beyonce’s Law of Relativity: “If you do not like Beyonce, you are irrelevant.”

★彡 Pet peeve #395: “We should catch up!” …On what? The lack of your significance in my life or the fact that you don’t have the right to know anything about me because you are basically a stranger? No. Just get out.

★彡 I finally finished The Shadow Broker, and I am on my way to play From Ashes. I’m pretty excited! I keep hearing that Javik is Jamaican though. What? LOL. I have to see/hear this.

☆彡 I’m starting to realize that Mark and I have a very boke-tsukkomi relationship. He is the forgetful one who does a lot of silly things (boke), and I am the bad-tempered one who violently corrects him (tsukkomi). It changes sometimes. For example, a few days ago I measured something wrong and didn’t realize it until it was too late. So, I tried to amend it…poorly…and Mark just bumped me on the head. LOL. I don’t think this will ever change. Even when we’re old, I’ll still jab him in the sides for doing something silly, and he will eventually return the favor.

★彡 I can’t believe that in some parts of the world there is such a thing as tea break. Tea breaks. Do you know how awesome that is? “Hey, stop working. It’s time to drink tea.” What? Are you kidding me? I most certainly will! *sigh* I am seriously in the wrong country.

Alright. It is gaming time~

058: Norwegian Wood

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☆彡 I don’t have a singular thing that I chase nonstop. I prefer to be a Renaissance woman, learning one thing after another whilst improving the abilities I already have. This is also known as jack of all trades yet master of none. Don’t get me wrong. There are some things I would love to master, particularly drawing and the piano, but I see myself feeling regret over not doing something as opposed to not perfecting something.

★彡 I am finally getting into Being Human (UK). I didn’t think it would be campy or upbeat, but I didn’t see it getting so…dark. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that the characters are sublime. The moment I met Annie, George, and Mitchell, I instantly found myself attached to them. I should really stop doing that: getting attached to fictional characters who have a 100% chance of dying.

☆彡 I’m reading Kafka on the Shore again. I absolutely love everything Haruki Murakami writes. If I could be half the author that he is, I’d write all of the time. But I’m not. 😦

★彡 I could eat fettuccine alfredo topped with parmesan forever. But I shouldn’t. But I want to. ; ____ ;

☆彡 Final Fantasy XIII-2 has reminded me of my fascination with theories about time and different dimensions. It is probably why I attached to works like Ocarina of Time, Chrono Trigger, Chrono Cross, Donnie Darko, and Doctor Who so quickly. *_*

★彡 Most people I come across loathe rain, snow, and pretty much any weather condition that isn’t sunny. I don’t get it. I like sunny days too, but each weather condition has something cool about it. Even foggy days have this…mysterious aspect to it. I like it. It’s the closest I can come to an adventure while drinking tea under a blanket.

☆彡 It’s comical that we live in an age where not giving away every detail of your life equals you hiding some type of dark secret. This is the curse of living in a time of social networks. People have forgotten how to filter themselves. People used to be like Christmas morning. You used to have to wait and unwrap layers of them before you saw the surprise underneath. Now, people just toss everything they are into a digital box and dump it on your feed. It’s…unsettling. It’s exactly why I stopped using my real name on social networks. I really didn’t want to know that the girl I used to talk to about Yu Yu Hakusho in art class had to take a shit, or that she bought new panties that she just had to pose for her friends list…family members included *shudders*. That is too personal for comfort. The only person I know IRL that I am comfortable seeing naked (or might-as-well-be naked) is Mark, and even then I am not comfortable with knowing anything related to his wastes. Excuse me for being uptight and not wanting to see everyone’s genitals and excrement. Really, I’d rather not be around others, but when I do find someone interesting I want to know him/her in an “old-school” fashion. We talk. We hang out. We get close enough to go beyond chit-chat. We become very good friends. THEN we maybe talk about things like bodily functions and undergarments. Otherwise, hide, delete, or (if they become whiny after being hidden or deleted) block.

★彡 SNESbox.com is amazing. I’ve not only played games from my childhood, but I’ve also played games that I wanted to play in my childhood but couldn’t because they were never released in the US. Oh, yeah. And games that weren’t released in the US, but I played them once I learned about emulators in my adolescence but then that computer crashed with all of my saved files…and the RPG maker game I worked on for years…and all of my stories….*teardrop* Nostalgia is a strange thing though. It starts off with a tinge of sadness but flourishes into so many other pleasant recollections. I am happy to have things like these. They are fail-proof methods of having a good day…or turning a bad day better.

☆彡 Speaking of awesome websites, StumbleUpon is awesome. It’s like going to school for free minus all the bullshit you already know or don’t want to know. Learning is fun. 🙂

★彡 I don’t own a single Beatles, Daft Punk, NieR, Maxwell, Wu-Tang or Radiohead album. Plenty of MP3s, but no albums. I really have to fix this. The thing is that I own exactly zero CD players. I could just use a game console…but it’s not the same. Oh, well. I’ll probably invest in a stereo one day, and start building a CD collection again. It’s all very old school in the age of iPods, I am sure, but…it’s nice to just pop in a CD and let it all play.

☆彡 No, I’m not offended by that Volkswagen commercial. Non-Jamaicans speak patois all the time, and say random things that they think Jamaicans say all the time. It’s not something most Jamaicans are infuriated over. It’s just typical “Yankee” antics, and most will laugh at it or consider it flattery. That’s about it. In my opinion, we were portrayed in a good light. Most shows and sketches portray Jamaicans as really relaxed and easygoing individuals. What are we going to say? “Stop making us look happy!” I promise that all that anger is coming from politically correct Americans. As usual.

★彡 Mark and I approaching ten years together, and we have no idea what to do. We’ve been throwing around the idea of a proper wedding ceremony, but the moment we take out a pen and paper to start planning we feel…bleh. We don’t even plan parties, better yet attend any. How are we supposed to plan a wedding? Honestly, I’m leaning more towards a proper honeymoon — one overseas, if possible at all. Yeah, that would be sweet. Seeing how things look now, though, we’ll have to push that to our wedding anniversary rather than our first-day-of-being-in-an-official-relationship anniversary. For that one, I think we’ll just stay home and do fun things. Butt things. I’m joking about the butt things. We don’t do butt things.

☆彡 A moment of silence for the people who have known me since time immemorial, yet they still try to change the aspects of me that have not changed since they first met me. May whatever god(s) you pray to bless you with brain cells.

★彡 If you ask a dumb question, I have to give a sarcastic answer. It’s automatic. I can’t stop it. And by dumb question I don’t mean: “I don’t know how to do this. Can you help?” No question like that is ever dumb. If you don’t understand something and I do, please ask me. I’ll be happy to help. But questions like “Would it hurt you to smile more?” or “Are you too good to sit with us?” will always get a response along the lines of: “Yes, if I smile my face will split in half and I’ll die,” or “Well, I’ll have to check my meter. Chances are my goodness will be off the charts, and I won’t be able to sit with you now or ever.” Things like that.

☆彡 I found out today that it is okay to lie in Buddhism. As long as the lie is to keep peace or prevent someone from facing harm, it is considered an honorable lie.  For example, people who lied during World War II to keep Jewish families safe. Those are definitely good and honorable lies. So…I can understand that. Obviously, though, doing terrible things to a person and lying is never okay. Even if people will say things like “I lied about deceiving you to spare you pain” or “I stole because I needed it badly”. Not okay.

I’m off!

I’m working on a project that is probably too ambitious for someone as inconsistent as I am, but it’s fun. It revolves around anachronism. Just thinking about it makes me extremely excited. I haven’t started a project this large since…high school, maybe? It’s just been Mythos and me for a very long time. And random short stories for writing contests. But that’s about it.

I hope to post some things related to that project soon.

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( NEAT. )

As happy as I am to finally have a full-time job, it is tiring. Or maybe it is tiring because I am taking in so much information and new changes in one week. Either way, I am exhausted! It’s only 10:30 p.m. but I am already ready to sleep. This is good. It’s far better than my usual 2-3 a.m. time.

Well, I’m going to head out. But, before I go, some pictures! This has been a fairly cool week. >_<

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Sorry about the sideways pictures, BUT CHECK THIS SHIT OUT! After months and months and months of searching, I finally find a Barriss Offee action figure. I am not opening this. Fuck that. But I will leave it on my wall so I can admire her forever.

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Creeper Khajit. It tickled me, so I had to take a picture of it.

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My goal is to have enough Buddha-related things to fill many rows of empty shelves. So, if you see anything Buddha- related please let me know. It will bring me a ridiculous amount of happiness.

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Last but not least, my LARP (Live Action Role Playing) Diet center. If it’s LARP Diet related, I tack it on the wall or I put it in the box on the ground below the picture. Didn’t take a picture of that…since it’s just a box full of crap. LOL. In RPG fashion, it does involve a lot of guidelines, and a lot of math, but it is fun. You can probably see Barriss hiding between my board, and the jellyfish poster XD. The board has the “30 Things To Stop Doing” on it since I believe that physical health is damn near impossible without mental and emotional health. I read this aloud every morning and every night. It…”centers” me. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like the day pushes me over, and this poster turns me back to my proper position. I’m very happy that I did this.

What else…? Oh, there is that chart with my measurements. Luckily, you can’t see my measurements there because the quality is so bad. Fufufufufu~ I’ll end up posting all of that crap at some point anyway. The way I see it, if I am too ashamed to say my measurements out loud then maybe it’s time to change my measurements, you know? -_- Either way, working on that. You may see that my deadline is Halloween, and you may also see the random video game ladies scattered around the board. These are the women I want to dress up as for Halloween. So, that’s my motivation. I also need a picture of Korra at some point, but I’ve yet to print one. I will soon.

Okay. That’s about it. I’ll post more pictures and updates later. Especially E3 updates. I’ve been keeping up, but it’ll take HOURS to sum up how I feel about everything. So…this weekend, I hope.

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☆彡 I finally spoke to an admissions representative from Full Sail University about the steps I should take within the next few months. *sigh* I don’t know how I feel. I guess the closest emotion I can relate to is relief. When I think about working in such a creative industry and someday brushing shoulders with fellow geeks/nerds, I think to myself: “Finally.” Long overdue!

☆彡Speaking of things that are long overdue, Mark and I finally got to hang out with Tiffa this week. I had a blast! And, as always, I laughed plenty. I really can’t wait until we can hang out again. Man…I should find a way to get Tiffa, Daniel, Brandon, Mark, and myself to all hang out together. Considering the headache I got from laughing too much with Tiffa and the headache I got from laughing to much with Daniel and Brandon, I think my head would explode from the combination of headaches. LOL

☆彡 I have always been fascinated by people like the Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama), Jesus Christ, Martin Luther King Jr., Mohandas Gandhi, and the Dalai Lama who responded to aggression with passiveness. They have been spat on, insulted, disrespected, pushed, punched, kicked, whipped, had rocks thrown at them, exiled, threatened, and some were assassinated by the very people they swore to love tirelessly. Some may hear about that and pity them, but I don’t. They should not be pitied. They should be admired for possessing a strength that is rarely acquired in this world. It is a common misconception that losing your temper takes strength, but anger is easy. Harming others is easy. It is so easy that animals can do it. Babies can do it. The intellectually challenged can do it. But to overcome anger, and even turn negative energy towards a positive goal…it is beyond admirable. It is respectable and beautiful at the same time. I have no intention of striving for the social standard of strength. Those standards were made by average people with average intelligence and average self-control. Even calling people like that  ‘average’ is being too generous. It really does take a lowly person to prey on others, and feel empowered by inflicting misery. I don’t strive to be a lowly or average. So, I don’t follow the ideals of those types of people. I want to be strong. I want to be peaceful. I want to constantly improve myself and improve the world around me, even if it gets me hated, laughed at, abused, or whatnot.

☆彡 I didn’t get any gaming done this weekend. I guess I just wasn’t in the mood. All that I wanted to do was sleep. Even then, I didn’t get much sleep because of Link. He’s so demanding! I feed him and play with him before I go to bed. Four hours later, he’s poking me in the face for more food and games. So I feed him and play. I go back to sleep. Then he decides to play: “Let’s trot across Kerri’s ribcage while she’s sleeping because it’s funny to watch her writhe in pain.” LOL. At the end of the day, he is a cat…and Mark and I are just his means of survival and entertainment. We are servants to his cuteness! Cats really are evil. Anyway, no gaming.

☆彡 Speaking of games, I ended up sacrificing Ashley instead of Kaiden. I like Ashley FAR more than Kaiden, but it was better to keep Kaiden in the end. One, I don’t need two tanks (I am a tank and so is Ashley). Two, Kaiden dying on Virmire is so…anticlimactic. When Ashley dies, she restores the honor that her family lost by being associated with the first human to surrender to the aliens. She dies with the comfort that her father and God are waiting for her in the end. Her death just seemed more right for the storyline. Kaiden, though, is still suffering from the torment he faced as a child. He is just learning to overcome it. To have him die on a Virmire as just “that guy with the biotics” seems a bit sad to me. I guess if  anyone in my party could become a Spectre in Mass Effect 3, I want it to be Kaiden. Then again, Ashley would restore honor to her family by becoming a Spectre too, but…man…this was not easy! It still isn’t! I am having choose-a-character-to-kill remorse. It is a tough call to make. *sigh* Well, it’s not the end of the world. The next time I replay (and I will replay), I am going to save Ashley. So, for now, I just have continue with this plot of mine and see if it was for the best. By the way, I am not having my Shepherd pursue a relationship with Kaiden. I guess my theme should give away who I’d like my Shepherd to pursue. Fufufu~ I adore Liara as a character, so I am not against them getting together. Sure, I would never get with an asari if I were in Mass Effect world, but I am not Shepherd. I control her and her choices, but I already have this mental picture of the type of person I want her to be…and she is not like me. Maybe I’ll make a Mary-sue Shepherd next time. LOL

☆彡 I am still working hard on Mythos, domain modifications, and my artwork. I am also starting a new RPG Maker project to practice for the Game Design program I want to attend. I’d like to focus on one project during the entire duration of courses. So, when I work on character development it will be characters from this project. When I work on storyline development it will be the storyline from this project. I’m sure you get my drift. Anyway…I have no idea where to begin. I’ve been so focused on Mythos for years that I kind of lost interest in making any other story.

☆彡 I’m ready to get my own house. -_-

☆彡 I received this really, really, really nice journal: 400 pages, acid-free paper, beautiful cover, and it’s just…it’s really pretty. I’m too afraid to write in it. LOL. Actually, I’ve been working on a list of things that I can use the journal for just so I can finally use the journal. It’s really silly. I should just write some random sentence in it to break the ice…but that would ruin it…and if I ruin a page then I have to rip it out…and if I rip it out then it falls apart. IT NEVER ENDS.

Later. ♥

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