099: The Sound of the End

I’m not apologizing. Face the truth, cowards.

✪ Personal Life ✪

  • It’s hot and I hate the sun.
  • Wow, I haven’t done one of these in a while. Um… let’s just say I don’t know what boredom is anymore??? LOL. If there isn’t something I need to do then there is something I want to do. It’s nice. Not complaining at all. I have been spoiling myself something fierce lately, but oddly enough my favorite splurge is the least expensive one. I got a hardcover journal, washi tapes, stickers, a bunch of pretty writing utensils, and started working on the cutest journal of all time. Never underestimate the power of a good journal/diary. I always feel productive when I fill a page up and decorate it with adorable crap. Yeah… Being so in touch with all things creative is really amazing. I am blessed infinitely in that aspect. I cannot imagine a life where I do not have a creative bone in my body. It sounds like hell. D:
  • Momocon with Tiffa, Mark, and Ashley was a blast! I consider it my first real convention experience because the other conventions I went to were not even half as crowded and exciting as Momocon. I really loved it. The cosplays were amazing, the shops ruined me financially (LMAO), and I just loved the energy of the place. Everyone was just showing their passion for their interests. I loved it. I really did. I hope the next convention I go to will be the complete experience. I’ll fight my antisocial ways to do it! I want to go on a road trip and stay in a hotel and go everyday, you know? I’m interested in EXPCon in Florida and Dragon-Con, but we’ll see how that all goes. Either way, I’m gonna make sure I save up a shitload of money this time… and maybe bring a portable chair so we don’t have to eat on the floor again. 😛
  • On to the not-so-good things. A recurring theme of the past year has been death. Death, death, and more death. Sometimes talking about it helps. Sometimes I talk to the wrong people about it and it just makes shit worse. It all depends. *sigh* Let’s just move on to something else…
  • Uh… Did I mention getting a new laptop? I don’t know. I’m just glad to have a laptop that can actually close. LMAO. The last one would snap at the hinges and make scary noises if we tried to close it. Then again, it’s like… ten years old. It still works and everything, but I have to carry it like a newborn or something because the slightest thing can make it break. Anyway, I love this laptop. I named it Drogon because obvious reasons.
  • Was politics always this draining? Geez… Next bullet point.
  • I got a wisdom tooth pulled out because it was hurting like all hell. It wasn’t too bad though. Once the bleeding stopped it was easy street after that. Can’t say the pain was too bad either. I thought it would be terrible, but after a day it was pretty much nonexistent. Also: laughing gas. So much fun! LOL. I promise I don’t have any drug problems (surprise, right?). It was just fun… and I would understand if someone took laughing gas regularly but I would not recommend it. >>
  • I did so much cleaning in 24 hours that I want to high five myself. Good job, Kerri! ❤
  • So… We finally got a washer and dryer and we were *SO* close to not living like peasants until we learned that our old-as-balls apartment had outlets in the laundry room that do not work and a dryer outlet that doesn’t match modern day prongs. So… Yeah… We’re working on getting that shit handled. My gut tells me that an electrician will have to get involved, though, and I don’t like strangers in my home. *cries forever*
  • I really underestimated the soothing power of face masks. I will not make the same mistake again.
  • … Debating giving someone permission to touch my eyebrows and my hair because it looks fun, but at the same time I have to give a firm no. *sigh* Why am I like this? LOL. Sometimes I think the only way I’ll get over this overwhelming hatred of being touched by strangers is… being touched by strangers… which is also a firm no. Ugh, I’m hopeless.
  • I think that’s it? I don’t know. I write most of my personal life crap in my journal, so discussing some things feel repetitive. I guess I should move on for now.

 

✪ Art & Writing ✪

  • FUCK YEAH.
  • SO MUCH DRAWING.
  • SO MUCH WRITING.
  • Whoo~
  • Okay, I’m done.
  • It’s pretty sad that I have to keep telling myself “smaller eyes, bigger nose” every time I draw. Anime continues to ruin my life. ;_;
  • Well, as productive as I am, I would still love just one week in a remote, quiet place to write and draw to my heart’s content. I think once I generate enough PTO I’m just going to rent a cabin somewhere with Mark, and he can do all his nerd hobbies in peace and I can do all my nerd hobbies in peace and then we can reunite throughout the day to share a meal or blabber about our accomplishments. That sounds so nice. ^^

✪ Anime & Manga ✪.

  • “Kado: The Right Answer” went from interesting to WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON so damn fast.
  • Diamond is Unbreakable had the nerves to end on me. I am so offended. I miss it so much.
  • WOW. I found this anime called “Room Mate” and I don’t even know how to feel about it. First of all, these first-person animes always feel like Dora the Explorer for otakus. Secondly, I cannot deal with the guys having their clothes randomly disappear during the end credits. Lastly, the fanservice is so blatant. I don’t know… let’s see if this gets as bad as that pillow anime. You know the one I’m talking about.
  • The new Berserk anime follows the manga so well! I can get past the.. um… “unique” graphics for that reason. Actually, the graphics are not so bad once you get used to them. I’m just not 100% into traditionally 2D animes using CGI and stuff like that. I’m getting over it though.
  • Speaking of Berserk, the manga is finally at a point where Casca is in Elfheim and her mind is being examined. It only took an eternity to get to this point, right? Anyway, there will be more at the end of June. I’m ready. It’s time. Something needs to be done with Casca because as adorable as she is in this mentality-of-a-toddler state, I miss the old sword-swinging Casca that yells at Guts when he’s being arrogant and stupid. 😀
  • I’m debating about trying VRV because it has some animes that I can’t find on Crunchyroll but… I don’t know. I think I already have too many streaming services right now. LOL
  • My nephews suggested that I finally watch “Kill La Kill”. LMAO. I used to make their formula and change their diapers, and now they’re telling me what anime to watch. Ugh, time… time is so weird.
  • Can I put Steven Universe in this section? Well… Who is going to stop me? Fufufu~ Anyway, Steven Universe is getting so intense. This is how cartoons are supposed to be! I used to pity children because all they had to watch were the same High-School-Musical-esque crap that Disney was spitting out, but now shows are getting so good that children like my nephews actually have good shows with important storylines. I think we’re in an animation renaissance right now and we don’t even know it. Uh… back on point… Steven Universe is good and animation is so important. Okay, thanks.

 

✪ Video Games ✪

  • Where the hell do I even start? Damn.
  • My only complaint about Persona 5 is that it didn’t last for the rest of my life. In other words, it’s amazing. But Persona is always amazing so no one is surprised. (Take some pages from Atlus’ book, Square).
  • Every time I see an article calling Nier: Automata a “surprise hit” I internally snicker because the original NieR was a fucking masterpiece and it’s sad that it wasn’t appreciated because of the same baby reviewers whining about graphics. I am so tired of whining about graphics. Which goes to my next game…
  • Officially tired of hearing whining about the Mass Effect: Andromeda graphics. It was not as good as the last Mass Effect games. I get it. But sometimes I have to sit through endless bitching about the graphics before anyone gets to the characters or gameplay. Can we please stop talking about graphics already -_-? It’s like… bitching about art. If you don’t like it then deal with it. No one cares. Every game should have its own unique style, and not be held to this “but-does-it-look-real?” standard. …That being said, ME:A could have been better as a Mass Effect title. There were definitely points when the game felt rushed, but overall it was not a monstrosity or anything. I could easy enjoy it for hours and connect with the party members like other Mass Effect games. At worst, it’s a 7 out of 10 if graphics are a HUGE deal to you. For those of us in the gaming community who remember playing with pixelated sprites and will be forever grateful that game characters actually have fingers now (LMAO), I’ll give it an 8 out of 10. I hope Bioware can do better in the future. No love lost for the series though.
  • No, I did not forget Breath of the Wild. Of course I am playing Breath of the Wild. Or… I was playing it. It was so hard to stay focused once these new games started dropping. *sigh* Anyway, the main reason why I am not playing nonstop like I would other Zelda games is really stupid. I just can’t get over my aggravation with the weapons and armor system. When I’m in a boss battle and I end up having to give up because all of my weapons are broken, it just annoys the shit out of me. Because it stops being about hand-eye coordination and starts being about focusing on the lifespan of Link AND his damn weapons. I know, I know. GIT GUD. It’s without a doubt the best game to come out this year. Seriously. It’s an AMAZING game that deserves all of its praise. I just need to get over my own issues and appreciate the infinite amount of things this game gets right. I also need to get over how weird the Wii U gamepad feels. Not really feeling the Switch right now, so I’m not about to buy it just to play one game. -_- Anyway, I still love this game a lot. LOVE THIS GAME. I can’t wait to play more now that my other games are pretty much over.
  • I finally got into Undertale and it’s everything that everyone said it is. I am always late to everything. D:

✪ Books ✪

  • I just need to let it be known that Mark is a terrible influence, and if you ever visit a comic book shop with him he will convince you to ruin your financial situation. But he’s cute so I’ll allow it. ^^
  • The most recent comic I fell in love with was “Monstress”. The amount of effort that went into building the world alone is fucking amazing! I was so inspired by the time I caught up to the most recent issue. It’s one of the few times when I suckered myself into buying a comic just for the art and the storyline was just as good.
  • Caught up on “Saga”… and I wasn’t ready. ^^
  • I decided to read “Snotgirl” because the art is beautiful and the author who wrote “Scott Pilgrim” did the story. Overall, it is okay.
  • I finally started listening to the audiobook of “Ready Player One”. So far, it’s not bad. I’m over the explanation of common terms that every geek already knows, but I remind myself that the author is trying to make things easier to understand for those of us who did not get pushed into lockers in high school (LMAO… Why am I laughing at this? Getting pushed sucked. -_-). Anyway, I’m only four chapters in. Let’s see how the rest goes.

✪ Music ✪

  • PERSONA 5 OST
  • BREATH OF THE WILD OST
  • KINGDOM HEARTS 2.8 OST
  • NIER: AUTOMATA OST. Spoiler: ANYONE WHO SKIPS THE SONG FOR EMIL’S SHOP IS NO FRIEND OF MINE.
  • My music life has just been soundtracks after soundtracks after soundtracks, man. Loving it.

✪ TV & Movies ✪

  • Thank you for coming back into my life, Orange is the New Black.
  • I finally caught up on Silicon Valley. It’s pretty funny. I’m curious to see how it will all end since Richard just has the shittiest luck on the planet… sometimes due to his own ridiculous decisions.
  • The Handmaiden’s Tale is horrifying to watch. My goodness. Gilead is absolute hell on Earth, and just the slight possibility that it could happen makes it even worse. I mean… similar things happened to women in the past, so it’s not a huge stretch of the imagination. I’m just anxious thinking about how horribly it’s going to end.
  • At the risk of sounding petty as fuck, I am loving all these entitled, misogynistic assholes throwing a tantrum about Wonder Woman putting their favorites to shame at the box office. And now the theatre that had women-only screenings are being sued? Really? You have nothing else to spend your time and money on? LMAO. Mantrums. Gotta love ’em. By the way, when I went to see Wonder Woman with Mark this dude behind us straight up wolf-whistled when Diana changed into Wonder Woman, and I lost count of how many people were straight up glaring in his direction. Maybe this is why women don’t want to watch movie with ya’ll. I know, I know. “Not all men”. But even Mark–a man–was ashamed of his gender after that happened and completely understood why women would want to appreciate the significance of a successful superheroine movie without some horny creep ruining it. …I’m going to stop ranting because it’s completely overshadowing what this movie accomplished. Years ago, no one wanted to touch it because they adamantly believed that a superhero movie starring a female hero would flop. Now we have this superheroine who is tough enough to lift a tank but feminine and cute enough to lose her cool when she sees a cute baby or eats ice cream (IT IS THE CUTEST THING). I love it. I will bury the lesser members of the male gender attempting to ruin this by appreciating all the women and men who supported this movie, and appreciated it too. Well done, Patty Jenkins, and thank you! ^^
  • Speaking of movie making me proud to be who I am (LMAO), that Black Panther teaser had me in tears. WOW. I mean… to see black people living in Africa and they’re not starving or being saved by fair-skinned saviors is a huge deal. And anyone who says “Meh-meh-meh-it’s-not-about-race” or “Bleh-bleh-bleh-SJW-ruin-everything” can fall off a cliff. Shut the fuck up and miss me with that “we’re all the same” bullshit until you open a fucking book about inequality in our society. *deep breath* Sorry. Ignore, ignore, I know. Anyway, it really means a lot as a black woman to see black women depicted as fierce warriors, and to see Wakanda so rich in the culture of Africa that movie tend to either overlook or mock. Seriously, when I watch black reviewers get teary-eyed as a reaction to the teaser… it is so beautiful and I understand 100% how it feels. If I have children they will watch this movie one day. My nephews will watch this movie one day. It is so important for them to watch a movie and not see people who look like them being enslaved or thrown in prison or being feared as “thugs”. So, that’s why I got teary eyed. I am just proud that we went from blackface to this colorful, beautiful assembly of black characters in a throne room who are thriving in a society where they are not the minority. That’s all. And if that makes me a SJW then I am just fine with it. If looking forward to a society where everyone can be proud of who they are is being a SJW then sign me the fuck up. LOL. Anyway, I’m excited. I’m really excited. I can’t wait until February. T u T

✪ Whatever Else/Closing ✪

*Phew* Glad I got that all out! 😛

All in all, I am doing a-okay, and doing my best to enjoy life as I move into my 30th year.

Moments like going to Momocon with Tiffa and Ashley remind me that life really is about smiling and laughing as much as possible. I want continue doing the things I love with the people I love so that I never lose sight of what matters during the darkest hours of my life. It’s my goal to value strength above all else. The strength to overcome, the strength to endure, and the strength to keep hope. And if that sounds cheesy then it sounds cheesy. That’s just how I I feel.

*sigh* Okay, I’m off. I have more weekend left to enjoy and I haven’t even started playing Breath of the Wild yet. I can’t wait until that four-day weekend at the start of July. Yes… I am so ready to get into another writing marathon! (:<

084: Maybe I’m Wasting My Young Years

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☆彡 I have bangs now. My forehead is warm. I’m easily amused.

★彡 Sometimes I think about Marrymore from Super Mario RPG and I get happy because it’s an entire village dedicated to weddings. Can you imagine having the worst day ever, going to Marrymore, watching all these happy couples getting married, and feeling infinitely happier? One of the greatest villages in video game history.

☆彡 My cat ears beanie cap finally came, so naturally I must wear it 24/7.

★彡 I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks Jade Curtiss is a little shit. In an endearing way, of course.

☆彡 I wish I had some type of health fairy who would smack junk foods out of my hands the moment I try to eat them. Or I could use a little thing called self-control. That works too.

★彡 I’m glad Batista is back and all, but…what the fuck was that Royal Rumble? Roman Reigns didn’t win? Not even CM Punk? What the hell is this?

☆彡 I have a strange relationship with music. On one hand I am eager to hear as much as possible; however, on the other hand, I am hesitant to listen to new songs because I am always content with the collection I have. In other words, I tell myself that it is not possible for music to get any better than the music I already love. It’s overwhelming–in a pleasant way–to go on websites like 8tracks, listen to a bunch of amazing playlists, and realize that I haven’t even scraped the surface of what life-changing music is. Music is great, isn’t it? Finding new songs to love is the aural equivalent of finding money on the ground, and you feel just as rich at the end of the day.

TL;DR I’m getting emotional about music again. Sorry. ( ; w ; )

★彡Finally saw Elysium and Kick-Ass 2. I liked them both, but they needed more Hit Girl. Yes, Elysium too. If Hit Girl was there Matt Damon wouldn’t have half the problems he had in that movie. Slightly OT: I wonder who swears more: Hit Girl or Kaine. That’s a tough call to make. I’m leaning more towards Kaine though. I’m completely passive to swearing, but when I heard her chewing Grimoire Weiss out in that intro my jaw dropped. 

☆彡 Nothing ever breaks on me when I’m in the middle of doing nothing important. It’s always when I’m in the middle of something extremely serious.

★彡 Played the Lightning Returns demo today. For some reason, the FFXIII series always gets better in terms of gameplay, but seems to fall short everywhere else. The new battle system is NICE. I want to say it’s like a more customizable version of the paradigm shifts. In the middle of battle Lightning can change into different roles that you can customize almost endlessly. You can choose attacks, accessories, weapons, outfits, etc. for each role, so it’s really awesome in that aspect. Story-wise… I’ll just say it’s what you expect from FFXIII-anything. There is a lot going on. Some familiar faces (or voices in Hope’s case) were there. Lightning is still cool. Honestly, I won’t be going to any midnight releases or anything for this one. I’ll probably pick up a used copy once it falls into the $20 or less range just to enjoy the battles. I don’t see myself enjoying much else. It’s almost heartbreaking to speak so harshly about anything FF-related because I am a massive FF fan. Games, soundtracks, figurines, clothing, trading cards, posters, wall scrolls, keychains–you name it…but I’m just not feeling the FFXIII universe outside of the battle system, music, and some of the characters. I hope I fall completely head-over-heels for FFV. I really want to.

☆彡 Mark is such a fucking dweeb. It was snowing the other day, and he started pretending that he was casting random ice-related spells from various video games. All I could do was stand there smiling and thinking: “Yep. This is the guy I vowed to stick with until I die.” After that I jumped him for his lunch money and we bought coffee with it. Marry a nerd. 10/10. Would recommend.

★彡 Nothing makes me nervous like empty notebooks. I always try to come up with some type of interesting theme for my notebooks, but it usually ends up as a journal/diary, a collection of scribbles, or random notes I take concerning my ideas. That’s about it. I could make a book based on random writing prompts but it doesn’t feel “organic”. Looking back, I’ll read it and realize that I was just following random orders to pass the time. Well, at least I came to a decision with my hardcover dragon notebook. That is definitely going to be an enchiridion of Mythos. I can’t write a story that massive and rely on my memory alone, you know? Blah blah blah blah blah. You get the point.

☆彡 I spent most of my weekend watching unsettling documentaries. It’s really disheartening to watch people suffer needlessly for someone or something they adore. The worst one was “Talhotblond” where this mom used her teenaged daughter’s pictures (Most of them she took without her permission and were exploitive.) to mess around with guys on the internet. She ended up stirring up shit to make these two guys fight over her, and one teenaged boy ended up getting killed because of it. It was beyond fucked up. The other ones were pretty fucked up too. I sometimes forget that these are real people and I’m not watching a movie. It can get that unbelieveable sometimes. Well, one thing that is definite about the human race is that we never cease to amaze…sometimes not in a good way.

Wow, I have a lot of things to catch up on before I get tired.

Later~

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It’s another one of those book entries. Awriiiiiiight~

I don’t know why I do this. Then again, going through past book entries makes me really happy, so that is purposeful enough. Alright, let’s go! From left to right:

  1. Izak Zenou 4 Subject 140-Paged College Ruled Notebook (Target) – $7.00: As overpriced as Target is, they have great stationery products. I was lucky to find this one in the markdown section of the stationery aisle because I fell in love with it the moment I saw it. The photo doesn’t do it justice. The artwork is very vibrant and printed on a see-through cover. Past the cover and blank white page are multicolored pages to divide the four subjects. The first is green the second is red, the third is teal, and the last is purple. I haven’t written in it yet. I am waiting for a book called The New Diary to arrive from Amazon. I managed to get it for $4.00 (shipping included) and I wouldn’t mind trying out. After all, it’s been called “life-changing” and I never refuse positive changes in my life. Another possibility is to wait for another book to arrive that is primarily writing prompts and tips on plot development. Really, I don’t like writing stories or prompts on paper because I constantly make adjustments, so I may end up just typing those exercises. I digress. Nice book! 
  2. The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide (Book Nooks) – $10.00: Book Nooks is dangerous for bibliophiles because they typically have books that cannot be found in popular book chains like Barnes & Noble, and they sell it for cheap! Even new releases are usually half the price of what the book chains are charging. They are just lightly used–barely used! This book is no different. It’s a collection of six stories, including The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, made by Douglas Adams. So, it is definitely a great thing to have!
  3. Hyrule Historia (Amazon) – $20.00: And finally, the pièce de résistance, Hyrule Historia! This book has been in my bag for so long that I completely forgot to take a photo of it. It’s a beauty, isn’t it? I enjoy reading it from cover to cover, and just basking in the greatness of this series. It is definitely the best $20.00 I ever spent in my entire life!

That’s all I have for today. ^_^

 

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047: Dawn Breaks Like A Bull Through The Hall

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★彡 I SAW AND HEARD DARK SOULS II THINGS AND WTF I AM SHAKING AND CRYING TEARS OF HAPPINESS AND MY BODY WASN’T READY FOR THIS YET FUUUUUUUCK.

☆彡 Tomorrow, I see Silent Hill: Revelations and The Man With The Iron Fists. Yet another thing to be excited about. 😀

★彡 Somehow, one sick day turned into a four-day weekend. I’m not happy about that at all. Thursday was understandable. I had a 100 degree fever, back-to-back migraines, and nausea so bad that I don’t know how in the world I didn’t throw up that day. Friday though…Okay, I’ll admit, I wasn’t 100%. I still had a fever, but it was only 99. I was fine enough to do work. I resent being sent home to just sit in bed, and wallow over the money I’m not making. I’m not angry at my boss at all. She was only looking out for me and everyone else (which is what I like about her) but I’m just…frustrated. Christmas is right around the corner. I can’t afford to have  two days off like that. I don’t know what I’m rambling about. I should be grateful. I did have a great day with Mark since he was off on Friday. Hell, he’s even going to be off on Sunday too. So, I can smile about that, right? 🙂

☆彡 Thanks to the two days off mentioned, I finally finished Deep Space Nine. The last moment of the show where Jake is watching the wormhole with Kira beside him–UGH RIGHT IN THE FEELS. I’ve already moved on to Voyager, and I must say that I really like Captain Kathryn Janeway. Actually, there isn’t a ST captain that I don’t adore. They’re all so wonderful. ❤

★彡 Getting this Dark Knight trilogy was a flawless choice. I’ve been watching the movies on loop since I got them. It’s so much better watching the entire thing from start to finish in one sitting. It leaves the details nice and crisp.

☆彡 I thought my obsession with Morning Glory stationery ended in my adolescence. It didn’t.

★彡 Netflix has all these Disney movies now thanks to a deal they made. I’m starting with The Fox and The Hound (which I’ve never seen) before I move on to The Aristocats (never finished it, but saw most of it), Alice in Wonderland, and then Pocahontas. The Nightmare Before Christmas is another possibility too. It’s all going to be very nostalgic indeed.

☆彡 If everyone has a purpose in life, I believe mine is storytelling. Whether it’s drawing or writing stories, I enjoy telling them. There is a feeling I can’t quite explain when I create a story, and someone tells me: “What happens next? Please work on it! I need to know the rest!” It’s not really pride. It’s…I don’t know. The closest feeling to it is when someone gives you an important task to complete, and you not only complete it, you go beyond their expectations. It’s that happiness with yourself and your abilities. There really is nothing like it.

★彡 I don’t have a New Year’s resolution list to share this year. Instead, I have a “Shit You Should Have Done Like Five Years Ago and It’s Really Pathetic That It’s Taking This Long” list. I don’t feel like posting it.

☆彡 Random Conversation:

Mark: “Doesn’t my character look like Geralt?”

Me: “Yes. Now I want to touch his butt.”

Mark: “What?”

Me: “What?”

(On a serious note, Geralt has a nice butt and everything else. Permission to post Geralt? For me? Why, you shouldn’t have! )

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★彡 Tina Turner singing “Goldeneye”. Perfection.

*sigh* Six hours away from Mark getting home, enjoying dinner, and watching Sword Art Online. I’m so impatient right now. -__-

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